I just totally lost it on dd

mlm1128

And as bad as this may sound, I don't feel bad at all.  She has spent the last week treating me like I am some kind of servant and she is Cleopatra.  She is constantly barking out orders at me and telling me what she will be doing.  When she unbuckled herself from her car seat while I was driving, I was pushed completely over the edge.  I don't think I've ever screamed so loud...and sadly, it doesn't seem to have had ANY impact on her at all.

I don't know what to do anymore.  I can't deal with this, and it's only me she treats like ***. Most of the time she's good, but when she's not it is hideous lately. 

mommyd4

How old?

summerbrideDC

ugh, I'm sorry.  Ethan's been bossy too, and it tests my last nerve. 

mlm1128

Just about to turn 4.  Only she cts like a rebellious 14 year old.

mommyd4

And here I thought terrible was just when they were 2! Well what works for me is taking away my dd's favorite most special toys until she earns them back. Good behavior for 5 wakeups always gets her back on track.

 

2beJessieD

DD1 turns 4 in January and I swear she'll be lucky to see it some days.  The attitude, bossy-ness, yelling & pointing her finger right in my face...yeah I hear you.  Hopefully they'll shape up soon, but until then I drink & eat ice cream.

danasport

I went through this practically every day during summer "vacation."  I practically tap danced in the parking lot on the first day of school.  My son turned four in August and I think every day he was three, I either almost lost it or totally did.  Don't feel bad.  I know, easy to say...but it's totally the age.  SInce he's turned four, it has gotten better.  Plus he's in preschool 5x/week.  :-)  I posted here a few times this summer and was overwhelmed with the support I got.  Hang in there.  It will get better.  She still loves you, no matter how she acts.

Oh, and now that my son is behaving better, my 23 month old is going through the "terrible two's", which maybe means she won't go through the "horrible three's?!?!?!"

Hugs,

Dana

mlm1128

I only wonder why she feels that it's OK to treat me like that, and is so sweet to everyone else.  I can get through this...but I fear for her teen years, and I am not kidding.

lildevil968

Wow! DD has done this before also, and we just have to remind her who is boss, and that she is not. We do this by taking away her favorite things, sending her to her room for a few minutes, and just plain sitting down and talking with her.

My DD has unbuckled herself also, and we just tell her what could happen if we got into an accident. We don't go into gorry details, but we do tell her that could go flying through the windshield, and get hurt really bad. Seems to work.

I hope all gets better.

mlm1128

I wish it were that easy lildev.  She She can only be reasoned with when she feels like it.  I have honestly never in my life seen a child so stubborn.  And I have been around kids forever.

mommyd4

I swear they do it just to test who's boss. Once they learn what gets under your skin it's hard to get em to stop. Next time she asks you for something tell her no until she can start being nice to mommy. It's just a phase, if you keep on top of it now I'm sure the teen years won't be so bad.

2beJessieD

With my DD she will act up for others, but not nearly as bad as when she's one-on-one with me.  I really think it's because she spends the majority of her time with me & just knows which buttons to pushe better on me than anyone else.  There are certain things that I HATE for her to do & she does them everyday despite the (admittedly) negative respnse she gets from me.

Reminding her whos boss, taking away toys, etc really does nothing to her.  But when DH gets home & gets a bad 'report' on her, all he has to do is give her side eye & she's a mess apologizing & saying she's sorry.  I really don't understand it.

goodheartedmommy

What happens if you matter-of-factly tell her that you will not be talked to that way and will not respond to her? When my kids talk to me like this, I simply tell them that they should speak to me using nice words, and will not listen until they do. And then they typically ask nicely. If they don't, I continue to ignore.

The car thing? Yuck. Ethan did it once and freaked him out. I see Bella being one to do it for fun, and I'll probably lose it then, too.

Everyone loses their cool. Don't beat yourself up too much.

LanaM

My 4.5 y.o. called me "crazy old woman" yesterday. I was laughing inside but I still gave him a time out for calling names. We've been working on it lately....     DH was laughing too, hope it's his turn next to be called something

femmegem

goodheartedmommy:

Everyone loses their cool. Don't beat yourself up too much.

Ditto this. I mean, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I have completely lost it with DS. I've talked about it rnough on here.

IDK what I would do about the carseat thing. I could see telling DS that if he can't sit in his seat like a big boy then I can't take him out in the car, but that could backfire big time if we're going somewhere he doesn't want to go. Yikes.

The rudeness. Ugh. I try my best to remain calm. This morning DS pushed me three times and then spit at me twice while we were installing his car seat (we were all in the car at the time, so tight quarters and not really anywhere for me to go) and I was at a total loss for what to do. Finally I told him that if he was going to treat me that way I would just stay home and DH could take him to school alone and that helped. Of course I didn't think of that until we had already left, so it wasn't much of a threat. LOL.

DS is still young (I mean he's not three yet, so I probably haven't experienced some of what you're talking about), but I try my very best to impress upon him the natural consequences of his actions. If he's bossy or pushy or yelling at me, I'm not going to want to be around him. No one wants to be around someone who behaves that way. It's not easy, though.

Temp159135562506975

i don't blame you for losing it with the car seat thing- esp since she's been bad lately... .adn that's a huge safety thing.

it sounds like she needs to learn that you will not accept being talked to like that.  You will not respond, and she will not have any fun if talking to you that way - period.  Do not give her anything - take away things she likes if needed... nothing but basic meals and a few toys (b/c she is still young)... but in a sense- have her be grounded when she talks to you that way.

don't yell at her- just say, calmly "mommy does not like to be talked to that way. I expect you to treat me nice. If you can't- then I will not talk/play with you". 

be consistent - it will be hard, but should work after a couple days.  I used to teach Pre-K and K, and it's a time when they will really try to push buttons and feel like they succeed if you get bent out of shape, or you give in and give them what they want.