How to handle this

mscars10s@juno.com

My husband and I are in college and live in a different state than my parents and all my friends from back home. I'll be going to visit at the end of November and I would really like a baby shower when I am with all my friends- but my mom is discouraging it back home because she thinks it will be too early. I will be 21 weeks along. But it is my only visit home before the baby.

One of my ideas was to just have a girls night and invite my friends out for dinner or ice cream and not worry about a typical baby shower or should I talk to my mom about it and explain that I would really like that chance with my friends even if it is early?

ToesnthesandBride07

You can't force someone to have a shower for you. If your mom is not game and your friends don't offer I would still plan a girls night but not expect gifts. Spending time with your girls is always a plus before baby. GL

AFWife1229

I'm in kind of the same boat. My friends who semi-offered to plan it are still in college and work..so they're extremely busy and well not financially able to throw a party. I don't want to put the full burden on my grandparents who also offered. All my family and friends live in Minnesota and we live in Florida, my mom also lives in Florida, so she can't throw it for me back home. So...I'm doing all the planning and my mom is paying for it. For me, its fine. This way, as selfish as it sounds, the party can be exactly what I want! Lol. I'm very excited for it and mostly just super excited to see everyone, the gifts are a bonus. I think your friends would understand if you want to throw your own or something, all of mine were very understanding. I personally don't like the whole idea that someone else has to throw the shower...sometimes people are just too busy! Do whatever will make you happy!

EastCoastBride

ToesnthesandBride07:

You can't force someone to have a shower for you. If your mom is not game and your friends don't offer I would still plan a girls night but not expect gifts. Spending time with your girls is always a plus before baby. GL

Ditto.  Just plan a girls night out, but don't call it a "shower" in any way. 

scubaspot

My mom is giving me my shower the weekend after Thanksgiving. It is the only time I will be in town until after LO is born. I will only be about 22-23 weeks.

That being said. You cannot force someone to give you a shower and you cannot throw your own so unless someone offers to give you a shower you are out of luck. Asking your mom would be VERY tacky.

NMAWALLACE

Maybe they are already surprising you with one.  Either way it's in bad taste to ask for a shower.  If somoneone offers than it's fine to throw suggestions out about what you want.  I would think though that because you are visiting they might have something planned but you just don't know it.