Can I get your tips on using a babysitter?

MarchMom06

DH & I have used a sitter probably 40+ times over the past three years & never run into any problems with the transition (i.e. leaving the kids at the house alone with the sitter).

However, last month we were heading out on a date & my youngest (2.5) would not settle down. I tried, DH tried, the sitter tried, & nothing. We assumed that he would settle down after we left. Uh, no. He apparently cried for our entire date (the sitter texted me & we came back early once we found out) - more than 90 minutes. Cried so hard he threw up, hid under his bed, etc.

This is the same sitter that we've used multiple times. He's never had an issue in the past with her or anyone else. This sitter is extremely experienced with kids his age & works in the DC we go to. (She's not Nick's teacher, however).

And, it's not just the sitter - he's having serious separation anxiety (is that what you even call it at 2.5?), so I know it's not isolated to this one issue.

We have friends coming into town on Friday night & plan to pick them up at the airport & go out to dinner. But, I'm terrified of the transition. How can I smooth things & make it easier for everyone? I tried having the sitter give the boys a small gift. No go.

Should I make a sticker chart for the evening with small prizes? (i.e. they get one sticker for getting PJs on, one for brushing teeth, one for eating dinner, one for listening to the sitter?) I'm seriously desperate. Please help.

I really want to cancel, but DH is adamant that we go. And, I know I need to solve this problem & I have a feeling the only way to do that is practice.

VivaAmore

You said you've tried the small gift, was it with the same sitter?  I know I disliked a sitter I had as a kid and for no good reason (she didn't put us to bed early, hit us or anything, I just didn't like her). Could it be the case with this girl? Maybe try someone else. Some people just don't gel together.

Otherwise, I don't know what I'd do. My DD is starting to become anxious when we leave but she calms down within seconds of us being gone. If I knew she was hysterical the whole time, I don't know that I would be able to leave her again.

Another option might be just to have the sitter come for an hour or so while you're home. It might help your DS get over his anxiety knowing that you are there too. I've also heard that letting him keep something of yours while you're out helps them still feel connected (the example in the article was a scarf that you might always wear).

MarchMom06

VivaAmore:

You said you've tried the small gift, was it with the same sitter?  I know I disliked a sitter I had as a kid and for no good reason (she didn't put us to bed early, hit us or anything, I just didn't like her). Could it be the case with this girl? Maybe try someone else. Some people just don't gel together.

Otherwise, I don't know what I'd do. My DD is starting to become anxious when we leave but she calms down within seconds of us being gone. If I knew she was hysterical the whole time, I don't know that I would be able to leave her again.

Another option might be just to have the sitter come for an hour or so while you're home. It might help your DS get over his anxiety knowing that you are there too. I've also heard that letting him keep something of yours while you're out helps them still feel connected (the example in the article was a scarf that you might always wear).

Same sitter, unfortunately. And, Sam (3.5) loves her. She used to be his DC teacher & he always asks for her. I think it's a stage for Nick, not so much the sitter. I think.