Single Parents
carrieannew
member
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Alone
carrieannew
member
You can have your friends and family supporting you and acting like they are behind you .. but when people do not truly understand... its the most alone feeling in the world.
This week alone I have felt attacked by my own mother who does not accept that the relationship between the father and I is over, from my father and his wife who do not accept this because the baby is not white, and from the father who has not given a penny or purchased a thing in 6 months but finds every way possible to twist it and make it my fault.
I just truly feel so alone right now.
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Re: Alone
I'm so sorry that you feel alone. I can relate. I have an amazing group of friends and family that care and are supportive, but in truth who wants to do this alone?
Currently my husband and I are still together, but he's emotionally snapped. I'm only 10 weeks pregnant, I'm high-risk, and what I wanted more then anything was to have a healthy, happy, family. I'm only assuming the same for you in your situation.
Good for you for reaching out, I think I'll be spending a lot of time on these boards, blogging, connecting, trying to get support. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. Women are strong, this little baby is going to be amazing, (both of ours,) and if we all stick together we'll make it through. I know it. Sending you hugs and a stress-free remainder of your pregnancy.
Melissa I'm so sorry for what you are going through. That is such a hard period of pregnancy and to be going through that on top of it.
Thank you for responding... Its so frustrating to feel so alone. I don't know that there are many worse feelings in the world. I just want to enjoy this pregnancy and be excited. And I just don't feel like I can.
I don't know which direction to take as far as the father and this threats. I dont know how I can afford a lawyer and get the things for the baby that the baby needs. He wants to do mediation for a parenting plan, but again has purchased nothing for the baby. How can I afford that on top of getting everything on my own. *sigh*
I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I am just wondering are you 6 months pregnant or is your baby 6 months old? If you are 6 months pregnant what do you expect the dad to purchase for the baby? I didn't even go into shopping mode with my baby until the last month of the pregnancy(but I'm a procrastinator like that).
Maybe BD just doesn't know what to get or he knows he will be paying CS so you will get support when LO is born. He sounds like he wants to be in LO's life and him wanting to develop a parenting plan is a positive step.
I was alone with my DD since the beginning and honestly I loved having her to myself. I know, I'm selfish but I always felt like it was me and her against the world. BD wasn't in her life at that time financially or physically but when he did move here (1.5 months ago) I never held the lack of $$ against him. Now he is bonding with his 13 month old daughter(and I filed for CS).
Like I said I am sorry your family is making you feel bad. That is awful and I hope they can support you when they see there innocent grand baby,
Definitely frusterating. I think I use that word multiple times a day right now! Unfortunately, I don't have a crystal ball and I'm not sure how things are going to turn out, but I do believe that things happen for a reason and I'm sure this little boy is going to be a huge blessing in your life.
Here's what I'm, "trying" to do. I'm trying to surround myself with friends. Many of my friends live in different cities/states, but I'm using a lot of cell phone minutes! I was fortunate enough to have a friend treat me to a pedicure, (if that's within your financial means right now, splurge and do something nice for yourself before the baby comes.) I'm a massage therapist and am hugely in favor of prenatal massages. If you feel better physically, you're gonna feel better mentally. Give your body one hour to relax and zone. If you don't like massages, facials are the next best thing, in my opinion. If finances are a concern, which they are for me, go for a walk. Take a trip to the pumpkin patch. Next year this will be so much more fun with LO's. Get yourself prepared as if you're going to be doing this alone. I'm looking into WIC options, (not proud, very ashamed that I can't support myself on my own, but trying to get my ducks in a row here because regardless the baby is coming.) I think education is power. Some cities offer mediations at a low cost. I have a friend who's a lawyer back east and I can ask her to point you in some directions. It may not be a bad idea to consult with someone so that you know what your rights are and possibilty alleviate any unnessary anxieties.
Bottom line, try not to stress. Don't you love when people say that to you? Take charge, perhaps things will turn around and work out. That's what I'm hoping for, but I can't live in a fantasy land either. I think I've been doing that. Hopeful that things wouldn't turn out this way, but ignoring the signs. What would be your ideal situation right now?
*ehugs*
i totally understand! i just keep telling myself that it does get better...