So, about the girl in FL...

MelandJeff

Not that I am casting blame on the parents, so I hope it doesn't come off that way, buuuuuuttttt

If I had young girls and I lived near 161  focking sex offenders, I know for a fact that they would not be walking anywhere alone. And walking with a friend or two of the same age just doesn't diminish security concerns, IMO.

 

 

 

4Speedy

I haven't followed this story--did the parents know they had 161 sex offenders nearby?

BubblyToes

I was thinking about that today.  Isn't 7 a bit young to be walking home from school?  Yeah, that sounds judgey, but really. 

summerbrideDC

I haven't heard a ton about the story, but I believe I heard someone on the Today show saying that there wasn't a bus route for the little girl.  

MelandJeff

4Speedy:

I haven't followed this story--did the parents know they had 161 sex offenders nearby?

Well, isn't it your duty as a parent to know? Especially if you are allowing a child that young to be unsupervised walking a distance to/from school?

EMT

It's just awful...makes me want to go live out in the middle of nowhere and home-school.  I wish we could protect them from everything. But, I do think a little awareness and over-protection does go a long way (so I sort of agree with you).

MelandJeff

I just feel that this could have been prevented. No, I KNOW it could have been prevented.

BubblyToes

summerbrideDC:

I haven't heard a ton about the story, but I believe I heard someone on the Today show saying that there wasn't a bus route for the little girl.  

WHY the hell wouldn't there be?  That makes me angry.  (Not at you SBDC)

I grew up in freaking BFE.  There were bus routes everywhere, even to the most remote areas of the mountains.  Ugh.  

summerbrideDC

IDK, Mel, I think that's kind of like saying a rape victim was asking for it b/c of how she was dressed or where she was.  There's no way of knowing that this could have been prevented, unless her parents were going to be hovering over her 24/7 for her entire childhood.  

MelandJeff

summerbrideDC:

IDK, Mel, I think that's kind of like saying a rape victim was asking for it b/c of how she was dressed or where she was.  There's no way of knowing that this could have been prevented, unless her parents were going to be hovering over her 24/7 for her entire childhood.  

Well, we are talking about an unsupervised 7 year old little girl. Not ok, period, IMO. And there should have been precautions taken, like, if you are going to make a decision to do that, why not know what kind of perverts you are subjecting your kid to? 

I see it both ways, I really do, but I am just so damn angry and sad about this.

oparcm

In my district if you are K-6, you have to live more than 2 miles out from the school to qualify for a bus route.  2 miles is ridiculous.  But we do have many studnets who walk home.  Sad and I always try to have them walk with large groups.

summerbrideDC

I agree that it's awful and so NOT what I'd do w/ my 7 year old, but without knowing the circumstances (is the mom not walking her to school b/c she's passed out from a night of partying or b/c she's working 3rd shift or disabled and the babysitter has another kid to care for, IDK).  I'm not saying it's okay with me, but I think it's too harsh to blame the mom.  

MelandJeff

summerbrideDC:

I agree that it's awful and so NOT what I'd do w/ my 7 year old, but without knowing the circumstances (is the mom not walking her to school b/c she's passed out from a night of partying or b/c she's working 3rd shift or disabled and the babysitter has another kid to care for, IDK).  I'm not saying it's okay with me, but I think it's too harsh to blame the mom.  

I am not blaming the parents, I am sure they are beating themselves up about this, I just think that if precautions HAD been taken, this wouldn't have happened. 

LestaMarie

Well, I doubt they knew they lived around that many offenders.  There are so many people who don't think to check on that stuff.  And even if they did, we don't really know the circumstances regarding her walking home alone.  A mile seems like an awful long way to walk home, but there may have been a reason she had to.  Not saying it's right - just that we don't know all the details. 

Walking with a friend does DIMINISH security concerns, but it does not ELMINATE them.  I do believe there is strength in numbers, even if we're talking about a group of 7 and 8 year old girls.  A child is much more likely to get picked up by a stranger if they are out alone than when they are with a group.  Again, I'm not saying this is the "right" thing to do, but I can see why parents feel more secure with it.

Seven years old is too young to be walking home alone, in any case.  An exception: I was allowed to walk home from school at age 7, but I lived on an Air Force base (probably the safest place in the world to raise your kids) and there were no security issues. 

I feel so, so sorry for that poor family.  Any one of us could make a dumb choice any day that could change our lives forever. 

MelandJeff

LestaMarie:

Well, I doubt they knew they lived around that many offenders.  There are so many people who don't think to check on that stuff.  And even if they did, we don't really know the circumstances regarding her walking home alone.  A mile seems like an awful long way to walk home, but there may have been a reason she had to.  Not saying it's right - just that we don't know all the details. 

Walking with a friend does DIMINISH security concerns, but it does not ELMINATE them.  I do believe there is strength in numbers, even if we're talking about a group of 7 and 8 year old girls.  A child is much more likely to get picked up by a stranger if they are out alone than when they are with a group.  Again, I'm not saying this is the "right" thing to do, but I can see why parents feel more secure with it.

Seven years old is too young to be walking home alone, in any case.  An exception: I was allowed to walk home from school at age 7, but I lived on an Air Force base (probably the safest place in the world to raise your kids) and there were no security issues. 

I feel so, so sorry for that poor family.  Any one of us could make a dumb choice any day that could change our lives forever. 

Well said

Ashley&Bryan

MelandJeff:

I just feel that this could have been prevented. No, I KNOW it could have been prevented.

 

TOTALLY AGREE.  WTF!?!? Letting a 2nd grader walk to school with no adult supervision?? Neglectful IMO. 

Punk*Mommy

summerbrideDC:

I agree that it's awful and so NOT what I'd do w/ my 7 year old, but without knowing the circumstances (is the mom not walking her to school b/c she's passed out from a night of partying or b/c she's working 3rd shift or disabled and the babysitter has another kid to care for, IDK).  I'm not saying it's okay with me, but I think it's too harsh to blame the mom.  

 

4Speedy

MelandJeff:

4Speedy:

I haven't followed this story--did the parents know they had 161 sex offenders nearby?

Well, isn't it your duty as a parent to know? Especially if you are allowing a child that young to be unsupervised walking a distance to/from school?

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

I haven't seen any news for several days and don't know even word one about the parents.  Sure, if they live 50 feet away from a halfway house for recent parolees, then they ought to reasonably expect some sex offenders and undertake reasonable precautions.  If the 161 sex offenders were virtually anonymous in the larger community, is it reaonable for the "average joe" to know it is possible to find them with an internet search?  Everyone here knows it's possible because most of us use the internet daily.

But there are still tons of people who don't use the internet regularly and might not even know that these searches are possible.  Since I don't know anything about these particular parents, I'm wondering if it is reasonable to expect them to know that this info was even available.

Punk*Mommy

And, dwelling on what could have been changes nothing about the present. All you can do is take something from it and learn. Its just not right to say that kind of stuff about those parents. Don't you think they're beating themselves up over it? They have probably been thinking about what could have been this whole time, but they don't need someone rubbing it into their faces. (I am not saying you are, but I'm sure someone without a filter will say something stupid to them like that... and besides, you never know who reads this stuff)

Kersbear

There was no bus route for Somer since they lived close to school.  There are a ton of kids that walk to and from school here or bike to and from.  When I lived in WI walking to school was not common at all, not here in Jax/Orange park, here it is VERY common. 

I wouldn't let Carter walk to school (in a group or not), but her mom did what she did and I don't think putting blame on her for choosing that will help anything.  A lot of parents make the same choice she did in regards to kids getting home from school.  She blames herself already about the choice she made. 

I live 15 minutes away from the area this abduction took place in.

 ETA: I know you said you weren't putting blame on the parent, but it does seem that way.

MelandJeff

Punk*Mommy:

And, dwelling on what could have been changes nothing about the present. All you can do is take something from it and learn. Its just not right to say that kind of stuff about those parents. Don't you think they're beating themselves up over it? They have probably been thinking about what could have been this whole time, but they don't need someone rubbing it into their faces. (I am not saying you are, but I'm sure someone without a filter will say something stupid to them like that... and besides, you never know who reads this stuff)

Um, I am discussing the situation. I am not blasting the parents. I have said multiple times that I am not blaming them. 

breezee_bean

Sorry, Mel, but this post makes me sad=(  I would hate for someone to say that to me if I had just lost my child.  In this economy, maybe they can't afford to move, maybe they have good jobs with good benefits. 

EMT

Punk*Mommy:

And, dwelling on what could have been changes nothing about the present. All you can do is take something from it and learn.

Don't you have to talk about ways it could have been prevented to learn from it??

MelandJeff

breezee_bean:

Sorry, Mel, but this post makes me sad=(  I would hate for someone to say that to me if I had just lost my child.  In this economy, maybe they can't afford to move, maybe they have good jobs with good benefits. 

I am just trying to understand Breezee.

Kersbear

breezee_bean:

Sorry, Mel, but this post makes me sad=(  I would hate for someone to say that to me if I had just lost my child.  In this economy, maybe they can't afford to move, maybe they have good jobs with good benefits. 

This is a very good possibility.  Mom and dad are currently going through a divorce and Dad was recently in an accident living in NC with his sister.  I don't even know if he could get to Jax yet because he was trying to get funding together to get here.  A local funeral home is doing the funeral and all that it includes for free as a donation to the family.

breezee_bean

MelandJeff:

breezee_bean:

Sorry, Mel, but this post makes me sad=(  I would hate for someone to say that to me if I had just lost my child.  In this economy, maybe they can't afford to move, maybe they have good jobs with good benefits. 

I am just trying to understand Breezee.

I know.  I promise that it wasn't said in a b*tchy way.

Punk*Mommy

MelandJeff:

Punk*Mommy:

And, dwelling on what could have been changes nothing about the present. All you can do is take something from it and learn. Its just not right to say that kind of stuff about those parents. Don't you think they're beating themselves up over it? They have probably been thinking about what could have been this whole time, but they don't need someone rubbing it into their faces. (I am not saying you are, but I'm sure someone without a filter will say something stupid to them like that... and besides, you never know who reads this stuff)

Um, I am discussing the situation. I am not blasting the parents. I have said multiple times that I am not blaming them. 

You say you're not blasting the parents, sure, but it just seems kinda holier-than-thou, IMO.  

MelandJeff

You say you're not blasting the parents, sure, but it just seems kinda holier-than-thou, IMO.  

I suppose it may seem that way, but I am truly not. I mean, I am not saying that I wish they hadn't done things differently, but IDK. This has just really gotten to me.

reemarie81

IMO 7 is young but if you have a job to provide for your family then you do your best.  For me I would make arrangements with other parents for school.  Also do people not realize there are sexual predators who aren't registered walkin the streets.  This world is a scary place and hopefully as parents we can do our best for the safety of our children!!!  My heart goes out to the family.  I would go nuts or you  would have to lock me up if this ever happened to me.

Punk*Mommy

MelandJeff:

You say you're not blasting the parents, sure, but it just seems kinda holier-than-thou, IMO.  

I suppose it may seem that way, but I am truly not. I mean, I am not saying that I wish they hadn't done things differently, but IDK. This has just really gotten to me.

Oh, I understand. My adult cousin + hubby plus their 2 young children  live in Orange Park, and my cousin and her 8 year old daughter are really shaken up.

hopefulmom

I thought she was walking with her older sister, her brother and at least one other little girl (the one she got in an argument with).  Obviously she did this many times before so with 4 or more of them in a group the mom probably figured they were all safe.  Normally that would be the case...but not with that many sex offenders around...yikes!

My DH used to have to walk a long way home from school and it was just him and his sister (she was 3 years older)...from when he was in first grade.  Even in Kindergarten he had to walk by himself.  That was years ago and people didn' think anything of it.  They lived in the city and there was NO bus service at all.  He showed me one time how far he had to walk and even with a car it was a long ways. 

I walked home many times from school (or sometimes road my bike).  We had bus service (picked up right in front of my house) and I lived in the country.  My school was 3 miles plus from home.  I wasn't that young though.  I think I started doing that when I was in 4th grade.

GettinNervous

Someone who Nancy Grace was talking to the other night said it's extremely common for kids in that area to walk home from school like that. I don't think they thought it was unusual.

I, however, will not be allowing it.