Do you think that people who struggled to get pregnant are better parents than those with unplanned pregnancies? I've been thinking how much I'm going to love my child once is here. I've waited so long for this moment that I'm 100% sure I'll try to be the best mother I can ever be. So it got me wondering, if I would feel the same way had I gotten pregnant by accident or with no problems. What are your thoughts?
Re: Better parents than others
Are you fecking kidding me????
DS was not planned and I'm a damn good mother.
This. You are or your aren't a good parent.* It shouldn't change just because your planned a prenangcy or not.
ETA:
My Chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/28017b
TTC #1- 3 failed rounds of Clomid/ Surprise Natural BFP w/weight loss- 9/22/11 DD 5/12
DX. Dec '09 w/ Inappropriate LH Secretion Syndrom/PCOS/ Anov 28 months
(Former username: xxbblueangelxx)
I'm sorry if I offended you.
My BFP Chart
BFP 11/25/2009 ~ Blighted Ovum Discovered 12/10/2009 ~ Natural M/C 12/24/2009
BFP 3/29/2010 ~ EDD 11/25/2010
Sawyer Marshall ~ November 16, 2010
I did not feel it was directed at me personally, but as a mother of an unplanned child, it was a bit offensive. No worries.
Absolutely not, and while I do not think that was your intention, I see this your statement causing some upset people.
I truly believe that parents are who they are because of the person that they choose to be whether it be their own childhood, parents or family background, or the life lessons that have made them who they are today. I think if you have struggled with fertility, you may have learned more patience, or appreciation for people, but that's not to say that you couldn't or wouldn't learn that from other life challenges or that it influences your parenting.
Nope.. I didnt plan either of my DDs and I am a very good mother...
You're either a good parent or a bad parent. You can learn to be a better parent. But no struggle to conceive or unplanned pregnancy will determine the kind of parent you will ultimately be.
And no, I don't believe people love their oops baby less than I will love my planned one.
My bff had her DS and he was not planned. She wasn't even ready to take on that role at that time in her life. But she is a damn good mother ... probably the best mother I've ever been around.
well said Lyse...
Not always. People who take longer to get KU may be more appreciative to get a +hpt. But in the end I think people love their kids. I don't think unplanned children are usually less loved. There are people who may take forever to get KU and have thier kid and realize it's not all they thought it was.
It all depends on the individual.
And really, who cares if they are planned or not.
Thank you IVF for our little miracles!!
I do think that taking longer to get pregnant could potentially help someone deal with the negative side of pregnancy better than an unplanned pregnancy. I know that I will be a lot more understanding in dealing with MS, bloat, tiredness when I finally get KU than I would have been if I got KU in the first month.
However, I don't think wanting something really bad makes you better at it - apart from being a parent I really would love to be a great singer (doesn't change the fact that I can't hold a tune to save my life)
That is really hard to see and I can understand your frustration with the situation. It would make me upset too.
Thank you IVF for our little miracles!!
The difficulty I am having getting pregnant makes me worry that I am going to be overprotective when I do have a child. I really hope not, it's not my natural tendency.
I could see having trouble making you a better parent - I can really reflect on how much I want this and it has strengthened my relationship with my husband, both things that I think will improve my parenting. But I don't think it precludes anyone who didn't struggle from being a good parent (I don't think you think this either, just putting it out there).
It took 5 failed IUIs and a failed IVF, but our FET worked!
My pregnancy after Infertility Blog
Our baby girl was born on April 27, 2011!
This is exactly how I feel. I'll be more tolerant of PG symptoms, but I dont think it affects my parenting skills
BLOG: The Quinntessential Mommy