Frustrated. (vent, long)

adcffaa

I made a mistake in telling my grandma I'm pregnant. When she first asked IF we were finding out if its a boy or girl and I told her I didn't know she seemed OK with that answer. Since then my fiance and I have decided we want to find out in the delivery room. About a week later she asked again "Are you going to find out the gender?" so I of course told her "No, we want to be surprised." She said jokingly "well we'll just have to see about great-grandparents rights because I want to know." I kind of laughed it off. EVERY time I've spoken to her since that day (which usually happens over texts) she's asks if we've changed our minds. EVERY time I tell her no she gets mad. Now, I'm the type the compromises WAY too much. I used to (and kind of still do) believe that if the people around me are happy, I'm happy. But this is one thing of many to come that I refuse to compromise on. Anyway, this is how our conversation went today:

We'd been talking about my sister and how even though they started induction 1am yesterday morning there's still no baby, they finally sent her home.
Me: So, how are you?
Grandma: Good, how you feeling?
Me: Pretty good actually, you?
Grandma: Good. Are you going to find out if its a boy or girl when you have your sono?
Me: No, we want to find out in the delivery room.
Grandma: You're such a brat.
Me: What? Why is it such a bad thing that we want to be surprised? lol
Grandma: Cause I want to know and I absolutely hate surprises and I want to know cause I hate surprises
Me: Lol the ultrasound is only so accurate and thats if the baby even cooperates and lets them get a look at the goods. I'd hate to have them tell me its a girl, go out and buy dresses and frilly things only to bring home a boy.
Grandma: I've never known one wrong plus they do more than one.
Me: Trish's was wrong both times and my doc only does one at 20 weeks to make sure everything is fine and check the gender. Other than that he only does an ultrasound to see baby if there's something wrong. Either way it doesn't change the fact that we don't want to know.
Grandma: You're so annoying!

Part of her reason for wanting me to find out is because "in her day" they couldn't and she just wants to know. I understand that but why can't she just accept that just because we can find out doesn't mean we want to? We really have no reason to find out, we're not decorating a nursery, there's a 90% chance we're not having a baby shower and my fiance and I can't decide on which we would prefer, we just want a happy and healthy baby. I've let her nagging me just kind of roll off of me like nothing but its really starting to get to me, especially since she's being so childish and has started with the name calling. So far I've been called ignorant, stupid, annoying, brat, biitch, and pain in the ass. Not to mention when I first told her I am pregnant and she asked if we were getting married I said "eventually, but now especially with the baby on the way we can't afford the wedding we want" (we've been engaged for almost 2 years) she said I should be ashamed of myself to be single and pregnant.

So anyway, I figured instead of punching her square in the face I would just vent here and then start to feel better. But seriously I'd stop talking to her all togehter if it wouldn't completely crush my 6 year old cousin. (my grandma is her guardian, if I stop talking to her, she wont let me talk to my cousin.)  I think I feel better already...at least a little bit anyway...

Tiffbow

...so are you going to find out the sex? I wanna know!

 :-) Stay strong, it's the ONLY real suprise in life!

jrisa85

GOOD LUCK! I hope you're able to stay strong!  I couldn't wait, but I thought it'd be cool to wait if I had the strength... but I, unfortunately, am like your grandma... I HATE SURPRISES!

BabyLove987

Just lie and tell her that you have decided to find out the gender, and then after the ultrasound tell her that you tried but the baby wouldn't cooperate.  You still get the surprise of finding out at birth and she will (hopefully) stop bothering you about it.

We wanted to find out, but the baby didn't want us to.  The tech tried, but the baby just wouldn't move into a position where we could tell at all - not even a guess. 

eyunger1

I have found other people to be waaaaaaaaay more interested in what we're having than we were.  Okay, we know, and we have told people, and that's fine.  But it's really none of anyone's business until you make it they're business.  It's too bad your grandmother is so selfish as to not respect your decision.

MrsRon

I'm really impressed by the fact that your Grandma texts!  Wow!  As for not finding out the gender, she'll get over it.