My report from today

firefightersgal

This morning, I went in for a sonogram to check to see how much tissue was remaining after my natural miscarriage last night. Apparently there was quite a bit, because my doctor decided to have me go through a D&C. I was super nervous about it because I'd never had any kind of surgery before. I was also upset that I had to go through what I did last night and then had to have surgery on top of it. But, the nurses at the surgery center were amazing and so understanding. They made me laugh the whole time they were prepping me, which helped sooo much. I got the medicine to help me relax and it worked immediately. I remember going into the operating room and the anesthesiologist making me laugh and then telling me, "Goodnight!" I woke up after and came out of it pretty quickly. The recovery nurse was just as great as the pre and post-op nurses. I got to come home about two hours after I went in. My mom took the day off to take care of Nora, so we came here and I've been crashed on my mom's couch this evening. I have quite a bit of bleeding and some cramping, but they gave me Lortab, so I'll be just fine.

I was very angry and upset last night while I was having so much pain and losing blood and tissue. I felt like it wasn't fair that I had to lose my baby and then go through the pain and emotional agony of natural m/c. It was horrible, but I think I needed to go through it. It certainly gave me closure about the baby passing away--at least there is no question in my mind about it, now. I feel a lot stronger about it today than I did yesterday, despite everything I've gone through today. I know I'll probably still have some teary moments yet today and in the future...but I know that I'll get through it and move on.

I've been thinking about the blessings in this. If it had to happen, now was the time. (Despite it being my birthday). We got to enjoy a great family vacation, we had Nora's birthday party, and Nora's actual birthday without any of this. The night I started bleeding, DH was on duty. I had to go through all of that last night, but he was home, so I wasn't alone. He took a sick day for his shift tomorrow, so he was home yesterday, today, tomorrow, and two days after. My mom took time off to watch our daughter, so I didn't have to worry about that. And, maybe the most important of all, this has shown me that there are a lot of people who care about me--or at the very least my situation. There are times that I wonder, but this shows me that people really do care. Thanks again...and again.

Jodi&Joe

This makes me so teary --- esp. the end! 

(((HUGS)))

I'm so glad that you are able to see the positive in such a negative situation!  Keep your chin up!!

cnybride2be

i am glad that you are feeling ok. and sooo glad about amazing nurses. you summed the whole m/c process up (well at least for me).  you're right, people really do care.  and your posts help them too.  take care of you-  it sounds like you and your family are doing just that.

ilovemygirls

I'm again so sorry you are going through this.  It's a club nobody wants to be a part of, but once you've been through it you really understand & feel so much empathy for someone else who experiences it.  Take good care.  Oh, and I know you don't feel much like celebrating, but happy birthday

Purrrfect433

I haven't had a chance to respond to your  previous posts, but you have been in my thoughts and prayers, FFG. I am so sad for you but you are an amazingly strong person deserving of good things. Sometimes it's hard to remember that while suffering through a tragedy. Happiness will find you again and you'll appreciate it all the more. I'm wishing you a quick and easy recovery of both body and spirit. Know that there are many of us on here who have suffered a loss and we're here for you! For me, talking it through, over and over and over again helped so much.

DandelionMom

I'm really sorry.  (((hugs)))

A-baybride

You've got a great attitude about it!  I'm glad everything went smoothly today and hope you continue to recover easily.  Happy Birthday!

eclaires

I am glad you are feeling a bit more positive...from what I understand from friends, having a good experience w/ the D&C and nurses can make a huge difference as far as making a bad situation somewhat better, so I am so glad you had fantastic nurses!

r9stedt

BubblyToes

(((HUGS)))

mommynow

I'm so sorry for your loss  

It is a horrible, horrible thing to have to go through and I really admire your strength.  Hugs to you and your family.

aprilmomtobe

((hugs))

I'm so glad you had good nurses. they can make all the difference!  And I'm glad you have your mom and DH with you. hang in there!

oparcm

You are a very strong woman and I'm very sorry that you have had to go through all of this.  Lean on your friends and family for support because you will need it and they can get you through the tough times.  Take care.

michaeltrish

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I don't know if you've been there yet, but,  I visit the MC/Pregnancy Loss board occassionally because it makes me feel like I'm not alone.  ((HUGS))

Amanda&Chris

{{hugs}}  and Happy Birthday.

Sahara6971

I'm sorry. Take care of yourself. (((HUGS))) and good Birthday wishes to you.

summerbrideDC

((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

isabella22

{{hugs}}

jorie

You're such a sweet person to be finding the blessings among all your pain.  I'll continue to think that even on days when you just need to vent, cry, and question why this had to happen to you...we're here to listen:)

femmegem

Wow. You are so strong. I really admire how positive you're being in such a difficult situation. And that's so great that you do have so many things to be grateful for. (((hugs)))

Mrs.Tony

I am glad that the nurses and doctors were kind to you.  That helps - it's just such an awful thing.  I hope you feel better physically soon.

Yodajo

Oh sweetie, what a strong person you are to come through all this with such grace. 

((hugs))

KrisBriMcBunny

You have such a wonderful outlook on all of this! 

(((((HUGS)))))

Rebekah1021

I was thinking of you today. I'm glad they made it easier on you and you have a great support system. (((Hugs)))

kancell724

I am glad that today went as well as it could. You have a really positive attitude and I know that will help you get through all of this. (((hugs)))

CantWait2Be

I feel your pain.  I had a missed m/c with my first pregnancy.  My baby stopped developing at 14 weeks and I had no idea until I went in for my 18 week appt when they couldn't find the heart beat.  I was scheduled for a D&C for a week later, yes a whole week later.  I was left to deal with knowing my baby wasn't alive but they wouldn't do anything to get her out.  I ended up m/c on my own which they didn't tell me might happen and I didn't think would since I'd already gone 4 weeks without any symptoms.  I started gushing like my water broke and dh took me into the bathroom, pulled down my pants and out came baby and a lot of blood.  Poor dh has an image forever engrained in his head of our first daughter lifeless.  He wouldn't let me look down and I was terrified.  We took everything to the ER with us.  They still ended up having to pull tissue out of me but I didn't get to be medicated and had to feel the pain from that then ended up needing a shot in my butt to slow down my bleeding.  I was in the ER for hours.  It was a terrible situation I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I know it was for the best.  They did testing on our baby to find out why I m/c so late and were actually able to find out why.  We were lucky because most often it's just a mystery.  Turns out our dd had Trisomy 18 and wouldn't have made it past her first year of life had she been full term.

sorry to ramble, but I totally feel your pain regarding the m/c.  I'm always willing to talk if you need someone.  And I found talking about it actually helped me deal.

CBKMRB

I'm still so sorry you are going through this.  I just don't know what to say.

REOM

((HUGS)) FFG. You are awesome- of course people care! So sorry this happened to your family

More HUGS

amanda&rob

(((((hugs)))))

And Happy Birthday.  

MarchMom06

Big, huge, giant hugs. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have a wonderful outlook & I wish you all the best as you get through this time with your family. I'm crying with you.

Bellisimo

Girl, I am SO sorry!  My heart is breaking for you!!!  I pray that it will all be better soon!

Heidisean

((((HUGS))))))