Am I being a total beotch?- A little lengthy...

myafoo · October 2009

Morning girls!

As some of you may know, my FIL is an OB/GYN (of course not mine) and my MIL is a controlling crazy, straight off the boat Polish woman who also runs my FIL's office which is adjacent to their house. Well, my MIL really, really, really wants to know whether we're having a boy or girl and doesn't like the idea of us waiting to find out.

So she asks DH yesterday if they can all (MIL, FIL, SIL) come to the next u/s, but DH said it probably wouldn't be a good idea. That is only because the place we go to for the 20 week is in a wellness center with serenity music, aroma candles going and they do yoga, massage & things like that. It isn't really the type of place you bring a bunch of people to. Plus the room is REALLY tiny. Anywho, so she says that instead, she wants FIL to do an u/s at their place.

I think that it's reasonable to want to see the baby. Afterall, alot of people do share with their families. But being that FIL is an OB/GYN, DH & I agree that we should just give them pictures (of course ones that you can't see the goods Smile ). We believe that MIL is pushing the idea because she really wants to know the gender. I mean, I know it happens, but how many people's parents have ultrasound equipment in their house??

I don't want them to see the u/s live because we don't want the suprise ruined. FIL will easily be able to determine what he's looking at unlike most regular people just going in to see their Dr.

Is this reasonable on my part?? We think she's trying to cheat...

PurpleK26 · October 2009

Tell them that having your FIL do it would creep you out, and that you just want it to be a surprise for everyone! If you want to make it sound like you're the 'bad one' just say that if they know, there's no way you'll be able to not ask, and you really want to stick with team green!

Good luck!

mrs.amandamm · October 2009

If you were finding out the gender, or they didn't want to know, I would say go for it. But since they want to know, and you don't, I wouldn't risk it. Just get pictures to give to them, or even ask if you can get a dvd of it or something.

Good luck!

mrstyson03 · October 2009

IMO, it totally sounds like they're trying to cheat. I think there's too much rish in them spoiling the surprise. It's hard drawing a line between including the fam in this whole process, while staying true to your desires and plans at the same time. But if you don't feel comfortable with it, I would definitely put my foot down.

BigSar1 · October 2009

I don't think your being unreasonable at all! They should respect you and your DH's wishes for it to be a surprise.

superaunt · October 2009

Um... um.... EWWWWWWWWWWW!

I'm sorry but the whole thing, to me, is unacceptable. Hell no would anyone be in the room with me while I'm getting an u/s other than the baby daddy and double hell no would I allow my FIL to do an u/s. CREEPY. I'm really sorry but that's all just super creepy to me. Slap a copy of the u/s pic into a frame, give it to them, and call it a day!

robinsokj · October 2009

I think that its odd that theyre being so pushy about it. I wouldnt invite my ILs to any of my DR appointments...we just send pics

myafoo · October 2009

Thanks so much girls!!! I feel so much better now knowing that I am not being unreasonable!

abs711 · October 2009

They are totally trying to cheat. I personally plan to bring my MIL to our 20 wk u/s since it will be a tummy one. But she is totally on board with Team Green so we have no problem there. I am trying to keep her as involved as possible. Both DH and BIL are adopted so she never got to experience this so I want her to feel included with her first Grandchild.

GTBrideKC · October 2009

No way, you are so not being unreasonable! That whole situation is just weird! I invited my mom to our big u/s, but that's totally different. She was totally on board with team green and had no other underlying motives to coming. Just tell them that you don't want to find out the gender and don't want to risk accidently finding out. If they end up finding out, there's no way they wouldn't slip. This will teach them a little patience! Wink

kristinem17 · October 2009

You are not being unreasonable, she is! It's your baby, not hers! Geez woman (your MIL)!! She needs to be told that You and DH have decided not to find out the gender and there will be no one else joining you at any u/s. Obviously if the FIL does an u/s the gender will be revealed, whether he tells you or not or avoids the area so you don't see it, but he will tell her later. Sounds like she is being SO pushy. I wouldn't be happy at all. Your DH needs to step up and tell her your wishes.

myafoo · October 2009

BTW - I am talking about an EXTERNAL u/s. But I don't want my FIL doing it anyway.

jerseylinds · October 2009

This post actually makes me angry...Are your inlaws FOR REAL?!?!?! Myafoo, you need to PUT your foot DOWN. That is absolutely ridiculous that they are being so pushy on you. It's YOUR baby, and YOU don't want to ruin the surprise. I can't stand people that push their baby wants on you. I'm going through it right now b/c i dont' want to find out but all my friends keep asking me a million questions about the h/b, what i'm eating, how i'm feeling, etc, because they want to figure out what i'm having. UGH!!! It's NOT your BABY!!!!!

What does DH say about it??? Does he support you not wanting them to know or use their equipment on you???