I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. LONG & WHINEY

TheNextWest

I'm so frustrated.

I've basically spent the last six (really ten) years just supporting DH in whatever he wants to do. When we were seniors in HS, my plan was to leave for California cause I was sure I was going to be a star I got into UC-Santa Barbara and signed up for acting classes, but he talked me out of going and begged me to go to college with him instead. So I stayed (and then he ended up going a different college at the last minute!). Then after we got married, I had one year of school left and he had a year and half left. I ended up quitting when I was about 5 mos. pregnant with 18 hrs left to work full-time, so that he could finish his degree and get the job he wanted. I basically worked odd-jobs here and there to get us by until the twins came home and I have been staying at home ever since. He got the career he always wanted, but it ended up not being a healthy place for our family (horrible hours, bad environment, dishonest people). He left there last year and in the meantime joined the Air Force bc it's been his dream since he was a little boy. He was gone for 6 months for basic right after the twins came home and now he's in Afghanistan and will be there until March. We've talked about it a couple times, and he agrees that it's time for a shift and wants to focus on me sort of finding my place now. He's being so supportive and we're both ready for a change, but I have no idea what I want that to be now!

I did start nursing school when DD1 was a year old, but between the menopause, chronic clusters, my grandmother's sudden death (we were VERY close; kindred spirits), financial strain- the first few weeks got off to a really rough start and we decided the timing wasn't right. I'm 12 hrs shy of a teaching degree in special education. I would love to work in the adoption/social work community since it's so close to my heart... I just don't know! At the same time- I would love for him to take a one-year position in Hawaii or something before the twins are old enough to start school, which he has the opportunity to do. I would love to have an adventure like that!

Ugh. I just don't know what to do. I just feel like I've put myself on the back burner for so long and I'm ready for change. He's on-board, but I don't even know where to start. I love love love being at home with my kids, but what about when they aren't at home anymore? And we have beyond out-grown this tiny house, but I need to work in order for us to upgrade. But work where?! I want to love it. There's so much I think I would like, but I want to find "the one". I feel like I missed my chances, but... I need to DO something.  

pincushions

How about a social worker?

 

BubblyToes

I feel the same way about not knowing what you want to do when you grow up.  There have been many times lately when I think I made a mistake with my career choice. 

stillhoping

I am right there with you.

 

I have no idea what you want to be when you grow up

 

nor what I want to be for my second career.. now that the kids are in school I am clueless. I am thinking of voulunteering

sweetie1528

it's never too late.  volunteer and see how you like specific jobs.

as for finding "the one," I would not put so much pressure on yourself.  even if you love what you do, there will be so many days that will make you question why you made that choice.  take it one day at a time.  see what you like first.  volunteer a few hours a week.  you may find you hate doing it, or you may find that you love it.  good luck to you.  and remember, it is never too late!

omurray

I don't really have an answer, but just wanted to say that it sounds to me like you are on the right track of going your options thought before just diving in, and also considering the impact on your family and the timing of opportunities like the potential Hawaii assignment.  A lot of people just jump from idea to idea which only frustrates them more and wastes a lot of money.  I give you credit for wanting to really figure it out before jumping in.

Also, I know this isn't what your post is about, but you are doing so much right now and impacting those 3 sweet little lives and your DH in such an amazing way with your selflessness and care.  That is NOT AT ALL to say that you don't deserve to decide on a dream and pursue it, but I just really admire the things you HAVE BEEN doing and the beautiful family you built along the way.  I wish you the best in pursuing your next dream, but keep in mind the dream that you have already made come true through your family!!