Advice please?!

ondjima

Hi ladies! I have some advice to ask for, my friend will be full term in two weeks, her baby girl can come any time after that. She has asked me to be in the delivery room with her, and I am so excited about it! Anyways I have been reading and researching as much as I can, but I know that the ladies of the bump probably know better about what to expect in there.

So any advice for me? What can/should I do to be helpful, and what should I avoid like the plague?

TIA!

Stellerbel

Just listen to her and make her feel as comfortable as possible but don't ask her every 20 minutes if she is ok. Talk to her if she wants to talk, or just sit there. Make sure she has plenty of ice chips and take hard candies ( i liked jolly ranchers).

DNK777

Make sure to get lots of pictures.  I wish I had more pictures from the hospital especially since I looked like hell in 95 percent of them.

christie.h

Talk to her ahead of time and figure out what she thinks will help her concentrate and stay *relaxed* through her contractions. A friend of mine said it helped for her DH to keep talking to her. I liked listening to my mp3s and closing my eyes. Ice, ice, ice, and try not to be grossed out by the gross stuff.

ondjima

Hard candies? Ok, will do, would not have thought about that!

b.heather

Is she planning to go med free or get an epi? I think this makes a big difference in how you can be helpful.

I went med-free for the first 33 hours and I know that I didn't want people talking during my contractions, but joking around and being light-hearted in-between was really helpful to me. Also, having my DH there to field all the questions that came from family helped - I didn't want a bunch of people in the room distracting me so he gave them updates, etc. 

You are so lucky to get to be in the room with her! What a special experience to share :-)

dennice79

Stellerbel:

Just listen to her and make her feel as comfortable as possible but don't ask her every 20 minutes if she is ok. Talk to her if she wants to talk, or just sit there. Make sure she has plenty of ice chips and take hard candies ( i liked jolly ranchers).

I second this, when your in labor the last thing you want is endless questions and talking. It is also helpful to have a code word or something just in case she needs you to clear the room. My nurse would ask everyone to take a coffee break when she could tell I needed a minute to myself.

ondjima

I love the codeword idea. She is planning on going med free. Her DH should be out in the waiting room, he is way too queasy to be in there. (he fainted during the first internal ultrasound, he was out cold).

audo22

My hubby said he wishes he had worn more comfortable shoes because he stood next to my bed during most of my 15 hours of labor, so pack your Nikes!  Have a back up bag of anything she might need such as hair rubberbands, aromatherapy lotion, soothing music, snacks, etc.  Discuss her birth plan with her and ask how you can help.  Encourage her to sleep during the early stages of labor or at least lay down because she will need her energy!  Be positive, encouraging, and supportive!

 

RandomlyEvil

If she's up for it, joke around a little.  It was nice to be able to kid around with my bf in the early hours of labor.  After about 15-20 hours I wanted everyone to be VERY quiet, though.  I'd suggest just listening to her and staying very positive.  My bf was a GREAT support and I love him to death for it but he got a little freaked out when he saw how much pain I was in when the cath's failed and that just stressed me out more. 

Also, ditto to PP about not getting grossed out.  My delivery was no pretty picture and I am amazed that my bf didn't get weirded or grossed out.  I was in the delivery room with my older sis when she had my first nephew and I feel bad that I kind of hid behind the head of the bed while she was pushing now.  I actually appologized to her for it after i gave birth. haha

Chrysallys

Do whatever she asks and stay out of the way if need be. I had three people in L&D with me, my mom, my DH, and one of my best friends. My DH was my main support with my mom secondary. My friend was awesome. She, unbeknownst to me, wrote everything down for me. She later gave me sheets of paper with everything that happened with times included. She even wrote what I was doing, saying, and feeling. It was something I really appreciated when I was writing my birth story because at the time I was out of it.