Having second thoughts about telling parents

4-Ever-Young

We are suppose to tell our parents this weekend.  I will be 7 weeks and we have had our first u/s and everything looked strong.  I know I can trust DH's parents and my mom and stepdad to keep it a secret, but I'm worried about my dad and sister.  Mainly my dad... He has a girlfriend that I'm not on the best terms with and I don't know that she will respect our wishes to keep it a secret.  Should I just risk it or only tell my mom and DH's parents? WWYD?

DereKim

i think if you tell some of your family then you should probably tell the rest. you dont want them to hear it from someone else. gl.

Shannon11/3

Ditto to pp.  If you tell some and not others, you risk really offending someone and making it into a big deal.  I would either tell everyone or no one if I were you...  If you're that uncomfortable you can always just wait to tell people.

JMH_squared

We just dealt with something similar but with DH's mom. I was afraid to tell her so soon (we are telling family immediately and then waiting until after first appt for some and then at the 12 week mark for others) because she can never seem to keep her mouth shut. I kept asking DH if he was sure she could do this for us... and when we told her last night, she totally understood why we weren't telling and it seems that she gets it 100% and will keep it her little secret for now. I like to think that any woman would respect this issue. I agree with poster above though, if you tell part of the family, you should tell all. Good Luck, I hope you have good results as we did!

Tinkx123x

DereKim:

i think if you tell some of your family then you should probably tell the rest. you dont want them to hear it from someone else. gl.

it would be horrible for them to find out from someone other than you! 

jenkm

I'd personally tell.  My rule has been that I'm willing to tell people earlier on who I'd eventually tell if I m/c'd.  In the event that, God forbid, something go wrong in your pregnancy, the reality is that you'll probably tell your dad, who will tell his gf.  It's family.  It sucks to not be on the best of terms, but at the end of the day I think it's easier and less stressful to not be keeping secrets from some, not all family members.  That just never turns out well.

Mrs._F

We rethought telling some of my family early too.  My parents are (long) divorced and remarried.  We chose to tell one set of parents last week, but not the other.  We let the set that told know that they were the only ones being told at this point, and we wanted to wait until the 2nd tri for everyone else, and they understood.

As for my parents that we didn't tell - they don't have to know that anyone knew before them.  We had to do what we felt most comfortable with.  When it comes down to it, if we did have a loss and were back TTC again - we would not want certain people to know about it, just as we didn't let people know when we were TTC the first time.  Do what your comfortable with, and make sure anyone who's let in on the secret keeps their lips zipped!!

JenG1979

DereKim:

i think if you tell some of your family then you should probably tell the rest. you dont want them to hear it from someone else. gl.

 

I agree, that would make people more upset.