Poll: Did having kids make you appreciate your mom more or less?

A_seattle

Just curious - you always hear people say that, but for me it did the complete opposite - it made me realized how messed up and selfish and manipulative my mom has been and how I would never in a million years treat DD the way she has treated me. She has been a crappy grandma who barely knows DD on top of that and I am seriously to the point where I am considering severing all ties with her - she is the one and only source of drama in my life and she is toxic to me.

Did having kids make you closer and more appreciative of your mom? or the opposite? Also, I am so jealous of you ladies with great mothers.

1MusicMaker

Oh my goodness more x 1,000.  I call her all of the time and am so sad she is thousands of miles away:(  She is the best--and I am so jealous of those of you who live close to your moms! 

Monkeybuttwhat

I can understand her crazy moments a lot more now. So even though she went ape poo on us I think it did make me appreciate her more.

userdeleted

It makes me wonder how I made it out of childhood a) alive, and b) somewhat "normal"

tarebear9891

More. I understand now that I have a child how much it must have hurt her when I was going through my troubled period as a teenager. I remember telling her I hated her and now that breaks my heart.

MattsWifey<3

my mom and i have always been close. she is amazing! once i had a daughter of my own, we became even closer. we seriously talk about 5 times a day and even skype eachother at night.

avz2azb

Monkeybuttwhat:

I can understand her crazy moments a lot more now. So even though she went ape poo on us I think it did make me appreciate her more.

I agree completely. I also am amazed she stayed at home with all 5 of us and is only as crazy as she is. 

A_seattle

I am so jealous of you guys...I hope so much DD and I have a relationship like that when she is older. Oh and my mom was a stay at home mom...well, a stay at home wife, who enrolled us in full time daycare that we hated, and had a housekeeper. I'm a SAHM and it is a mystery to me what the heck she did all day...she didn't have to clean, she didn't have kids to watch, we didn't have regualr dinners, and she was always stressed and overwhelmed acting...

crazytmogirl

Less. My daughter makes me realize how little my mom tried with us... and how little she did for us. I cannot in 100000 years imagine treating Sayla the way my mom treated my sister and I. Everything from how she punished us to how she provided (or didn't provide) for our basic necessities (food and shelter)... it's really sad and I resent her now for it. I didn't have that resentment until I had my daughter and realized everything.

newportbride715

It made me love and appreciate her a million times more than I already did.

If anything, it causes me guilt sometimes b/c I fully admit she was and is more selfless than me.

 

Mama Jan

It definitely made me appreciate her more.  While I've always understood how lucky I am to have a mom like I do, I didn't get it until I was a mom myself.  She is my best friend now and I never would have called her that before I became a mom (and SAHM) myself. 

I add the SAHM part because it has allowed us to 'hang out' basically 4-5 days/wk since she is a SAHW.  We spend a lot of time together and my DS adores her.

Monkeybuttwhat

avz2azb:

Monkeybuttwhat:

I can understand her crazy moments a lot more now. So even though she went ape poo on us I think it did make me appreciate her more.

I agree completely. I also am amazed she stayed at home with all 5 of us and is only as crazy as she is. 

I know it could not have been easy married to my dad. I know my brother and I were accidents so she didn't think she would have all 3 of us. 

jenifairies

Some of both, actually. I realize now just how tough it was to keep up with us, plus the kids she babysat, plus my dad's complete lack of help.

However, she went totally bsc on the discipline thing.

J+O

At first, I appreciated her a lot more... then I started to re-evaluate my childhood and I questioned some actions she did NOT take when abuse was going on in our home. ?I was really angry with her and she didn't even know it. ?It was when I started therapy to deal with my past and accept it. ?I was angry for a few months, but I'm starting to realize she's a great mom now and that's what matters. ?She had four children to care for... she was being abused too, I forgave her and I love her. ?She has no idea I even went through those emotions though... she would probably be surprised. ?Have you ever thought about going to counseling? ?That might help you deal with the anger and help you decide if you want her in your life now? ?Counseling really helped me... I think everyone could benefit from it.?

VandRicky

I know this may sound harsh but it made me appreciate her LESS!!! My mother left us when I was young, and while I do understand that she was having a hard time, I could never ever imagine leaving my kids.

I am working on forgiving her though!

Madringal

More!  My mom was amazing, and completly selfless.  Having a baby made me really apperciate all the things my mom sacrificed to be a SAHM and raise 3 strong, independent, educated girls.  My mom died 2 years ago, and I will never be able to tell her that.

mabst196

Much more definately.

Amrice78

I had a great relationship with my mom before and after kids, it's even better