Intro - Starting the fost/adopt process

amberfernandez

I'm new to this adoption board, but I have been on the trouble TTC board for the last year.  We have finally decided to give up on a biological child and have moved onto adoption.  We have our orientation meeting in two weeks with the county but I have a few questions for those of you who are in or have gone through the process.

 We cannot afford to go through an agency as we've depleted our funds TTC, so we are going the fost/adopt route.

My husband and I both work full time, and do not want to give up our careers to have a family, but we will take six-weeks family leave after the placement.  I have found very little information regarding fost/adopt in our county (Placer County, CA), but have heard that our county will not place an infant in a household where both parents work outside the home.  Has anyone else run into this issue?

Also, if you have gone through the fost/adopt process, did you have to take in foster children or were you able to wait for a placement that would most likely be a permanent placement?

I will ask these questions at the orientation, but it's two weeks away, and I would love some information about your experiences before I go to the meeting.

Thanks so much!

gstf344

I don't really have much info as we are just starting out in the process also, but I wanted to say hello and welcome to the board.  I am glad that you are here and Good luck to you!

amberfernandez

Thanks for the detailed information, it's just so frustrating, scary, you name it. Bottom line is we want a family, so hopefully as we start the process, and jump through all the hoops, we'll be making progress towards that goal.  Whether it's fost/adopt, or somehow finding a way to come up with the money to go through an agency, I have faith that eventually, it will happen for us.

I'm glad there is place to talk to others in the same situation.

come*on*baby

everything fred said, except it might be a little different in your state. always remember that.

 

i just found out that many others on this board don't have to do nearly as much paperwork as i do! 

GLynn2009

Welcome everyones road is different. Go to the meeting and do research. Do not rule anything out yet and talk with DH about the different routes. We did not think that we could afford to adopt and we brought DD home last week. It is tough at times but the more infomation that you get the easier it will seem.

GLynn2009

Welcome everyones road is different. Go to the meeting and do research. Do not rule anything out yet and talk with DH about the different routes. We did not think that we could afford to adopt and we brought DD home last week. It is tough at times but the more infomation that you get the easier it will seem.

lilmufish

**AmberF**:

I'm new to this adoption board, but I have been on the trouble TTC board for the last year.  We have finally decided to give up on a biological child and have moved onto adoption.  We have our orientation meeting in two weeks with the county but I have a few questions for those of you who are in or have gone through the process.

We cannot afford to go through an agency as we've depleted our funds TTC, so we are going the fost/adopt route 

Welcome to the board! We too, struggled with the TTC process and are now doing the foster to adopt. 

**AmberF**:

My husband and I both work full time, and do not want to give up our careers to have a family, but we will take six-weeks family leave after the placement.  I have found very little information regarding fost/adopt in our county (Placer County, CA), but have heard that our county will not place an infant in a household where both parents work outside the home.  Has anyone else run into this issue? 

We too will both be working (I've taken some time off in between jobs but getting back to work soon), and one of the reasons why they mention they will not place an infant in a home is because daycares in our area will not accept children under the age of six weeks.    We are unde the impression if we are placed with an infant one of us will have to stay home during that time.

**AmberF**:

Also, if you have gone through the fost/adopt process, did you have to take in foster children or were you able to wait for a placement that would most likely be a permanent placement?

Fred mentioned it beautifully. 

 

**AmberF**:

Thanks for the detailed information, it's just so frustrating, scary, you name it. Bottom line is we want a family, so hopefully as we start the process, and jump through all the hoops, we'll be making progress towards that goal.  Whether it's fost/adopt, or somehow finding a way to come up with the money to go through an agency, I have faith that eventually, it will happen for us.

I'm glad there is place to talk to others in the same situation.

It IS very scary, and frustrating.   There are alot of hoops, but hopefully in the end it'll all be worth it!   Something I should mention - is that there are both county and agencies that do foster care / foster to adopt so i'd look into both of those and find the one that is the best fit for you and your family.  We had orginally started with the county and they were too disorganized / taking too long so we moved over to an agency. So far, (for the most part) we've been satisfied with the agency.

Good luck, and welcome to the board!!!

Lesley0228

I'm just a lurker on this board, but I spent four years as an adoption worker at a large county Childrens Services agency. Fred gave a wonderful and detailed explaination that I can't really add much to. If you are interested in a newborn, legal risk is the way to go, but remember the risk part and only do that if you can handle the heart ache of having the child reunited with the birth parents or removed and placed with a relative. If an appropriate relative is available, most of the time the child will go there. In my state (Ohio) you can do a straight adoption on children of any age, but they were rarely available under 2 yo. Most of the families I worked with had foster and adoptive homestudies, but you didn't have to take foster placements unless you wanted them. And just a word of advice, stay on top of your worker. At the county level, most workers have an unmanageable workload and are so buried that they basically just run from one emergency to the next. Keep in constant contact, so you stay in the front of their mind when they are looking to place a child in a hurry. Oh, I've never heard of not placing a child if both parents work full time. Lots of my parents did and I did lots of 6pm home visits. Good luck!

amberfernandez

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful advice, information, and experiences.  I think that I will look into some agencies as well so that I have a well-rounded wealth of information, and see what we really can and cannot afford, and what the best route is to bringing and infant or toddler into our home.