Newly Single Mommies!

BabyMenzel

I've been a single mom since I was 7m pregnant and I PROMISE it DOES get better! DS' dad leaving was the best thing (besides having ds) that has ever happened to me. There will be times (and I still get them now and again) where you will just want to give up and say fuuck it and walk away, but the good times DEF outweigh the bad ones.

Make sure that you have something (legally) in order that states that your ex will be helping out financially...it can take awhile for everything to get in order so the sooner the better that the ball gets rolling (we're going on 7m of ordered support that still isn't coming, and we went to court months ago.)

ShanJosh777

BabyMenzel:

Make sure that you have something (legally) in order that states that your ex will be helping out financially...it can take awhile for everything to get in order so the sooner the better that the ball gets rolling (we're going on 7m of ordered support that still isn't coming, and we went to court months ago.)

This is true.  I'm sure it's different in all states, but when we first separated, I didn't realize that I could file for support right away.  I just thought it would be part of our divorce settlement.  But you can file for support (child and spousal) from the day you separate.  In PA, it is retroactive to the date you file, not the date you separate.  So it's best to file right away. 

KGsky

ShanJosh777:

  But you can file for support (child and spousal) from the day you separate.  In PA, it is retroactive to the date you file, not the date you separate.  So it's best to file right away. 

This is such good advice.  From a legal standpoint, ladies, PLEASE follow this advice. Do not do a "he says he'll pay me X and it would be more than the state would make him pay" deal.  You don't know how many intelligent (some lawyers themselves) women I have counseled about this who have insisted on going this route.  Only to find later that they should have filed.  The ONLY reason a man does not want you to go through the courts is so that at some point he will have the option NOT to pay you.  Men will make random deductions in the agreed upon amount, pay late or not at all, and then you will be filing already in the hole.  Not worth it.  If he wants to pay you above and beyond what the state requires, fine. He can pay through child support enforcement and give the balance.  So important.