Stay at Home Moms

**Harriet**

Thanks for the pep talk!  I always like reading your posts because I feel like I can relate to you and what you are going through.  You kind of give me a glimpse into my future as a SAHM to 3 little ones come January!

I didn't realize that you were from NJ though!  I guess your screen name should have tipped me off... LOL.  I lived in NJ all my life.  All south though.. first Camden county, then Burlington, and most recently Gloucester.  We just moved out here to Lancaster PA at the end of July for my husbands job.  I'm keeping my screen name though because I'll always be a Jersey girl at heart.  :)

 

 

Re: **Harriet**

  • LOL! Originally, I grew up in NYC, and I moved here when I got married almost 6 years ago. 

    As for the pep talk, hang in there. The one thing that I can tell you (and not to scare you, but to prepare you) is that #3 put a HUGE strain on our marriage. My friend that has 3 kids this close was telling me the same thing the other day. We really wanted to have 4 kids, but after having DS and going through this emotional roller coaster we're still on, we really think we're done.........

    We have no help (no family around), and we can't afford to get a part-time nanny so it's me all day, and DH and I when he gets home. I don't get breaks on weekend days (because DS won't take a bottle) and I don't get out as often as I'd like. 

    I EBF and I have BAD sleepers (I'm 3 for 3 on bad sleepers - DS is still waking 2x per night to nurse!) so that contributes to my mood. I'm hoping that by DS's first birthday he'll be in a good routine and we can lead a somewhat more "normal" life........

    What does your DH do that moved him? 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • I can totally relate. We don't have any family around here either and won't be able to afford any kind of nanny help.  It will be just me here with them.  Thank goodness DH works literally 2 minutes down the road and comes home most days for lunch.  And pre-school is a wonderful thing both for me and them.  Right now my 3 year old is in it two mornings a week but next year I plan to have her go to the 4 year old class either 4 or 5 days a week (mornings only still) and we will start my youngest DD in the 2 year old class at the same school two days a week.  We were lucky to find a great and very inexpensive school.  And it's helping me to make some friends around here by talking to the other moms while we wait to pick up our kids after class. 

    I'll be EBF too come January and have done it before with the other two so I know what I'm in for there.  I always intend to supplement a little with formula so I can actually run out on my own or meet someone for lunch but neither of my girls went for it.  That first year is rough!

    Thanks for the heads up about the strain of three little ones.  I can see how it would be added stress on the marriage.  I'm trying to make some changes now that will help later but we'll see.  DH and I rarely go out alone and I want that to change.  Being far from family has forced me to realize we need a babysitter and we interviewed and really loved a girl who goes to college and lives near us.  We are going to start going out once every month or so even if it's just for a movie.  I think some time alone will go a long way.  Of course, it's easy to say now but once DS arrives I know that it is not going to be quite so easy to just take off for a few hours.  Especially with the whole EBF thing. 

    If DS is like the other two I can expect about 9 months before he'll sleep through the night.  But, once they figured it out eventually they have been pretty good sleepers.  My 3 year old gets night terrors here and there and those are a bit trying for everyone but other than that they usually don't make a peep.  I just really hope they can keep up with naps.  That has to be SO draining not to get even an hour break to yourself during the day.  Even long enough to sit with a cup of coffee and a quiet house for 20 minutes goes a long way. 

    My DH works for Comcast Cable.  He has been with them for like 11 years now.  He was a manager in NJ and the region went through a re-org.  They cut his position across the board.  This was last November and they told him they needed him to stay on through the end of the year and in the meantime he was free to put in for other jobs in the company.  He put in for one in DE, one in Philly, and this one out here in Lancaster.  He got this one and now manages the dispatch center for the region.  I really like it out here.  It's so different from NJ!  But, it's tough being 2 hours plus from the closest family and that brings it's own stress.  Like the baby coming in January... I have no idea who is going to watch the girls.  My MIL is supposed to come out when I go into labor but I'm SO worried that it will happen really fast and I'll wind up alone at delivery.  

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  • And I love how you spell your middle child's name Elisabeth. Paige's middle name is Elisabeth and it is not often I come across it spelled the same way.  My maternal grandmother was born in Germany and the name was used a lot in her family and is my own mom's middle name.  I think it's such a pretty way to spell it. 

  • imageJerseygirl16:

    And I love how you spell your middle child's name Elisabeth. Paige's middle name is Elisabeth and it is not often I come across it spelled the same way.  My maternal grandmother was born in Germany and the name was used a lot in her family and is my own mom's middle name.  I think it's such a pretty way to spell it. 

    Thanks! It's a very "European" way of spelling it. DH and I are both Greek, so we tend to use the Greek spellings of names. We did the same with DS - he's Loukas and not Lucas.........

    As for the BFing, DD#2 never took a bottle either. I have no issue pumping BM to leave when I go out. The problem is that DD#2 would get hysterical and so does DS, and it just made for a very uncomfortable situation.

    I do have a babysitter, and I did have her part-time in the summer (2-3 mornings a week) and that was a good thing! LOL!

    I finally planned a night out for DH and I to celebrate our anniversary. Hopefully DS will be good and we can leave for a few hours.

    DD#1 was 9 months when she STTN, DD#2 was 11 months, and DS is nowhere near it right now! BUT, the girls are amazing sleepers - even though they don't nap. They go to bed between 6:30-7pm and don't wake until 7-7:30am.......so, I'm hoping DS trains the same way.

    OK - gotta go do bath and bedtime! 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • I tried pumping with Paige and I hated it.  I just never seemed to get very much and always dreaded having to do it.  So eventually I decided that I was ok with her getting formula in a bottle if we were at a restaurant to tide her over until I could get her to the car or if we left her with someone and she wanted to eat before I was back.  Well, that was my plan and not hers.  She hated formula and flat out refused.  And when I did pump she'd take a little but made it clear the bottle was not acceptable and she was not happy.  Same with Sarah.  Maybe Aidan will be a little more easy going about it.. :)

    That is great you have an anniversary night out planned!  I hope it goes well.  What do you have planned?  

  • imageJerseygirl16:

    I tried pumping with Paige and I hated it.  I just never seemed to get very much and always dreaded having to do it.  So eventually I decided that I was ok with her getting formula in a bottle if we were at a restaurant to tide her over until I could get her to the car or if we left her with someone and she wanted to eat before I was back.  Well, that was my plan and not hers.  She hated formula and flat out refused.  And when I did pump she'd take a little but made it clear the bottle was not acceptable and she was not happy.  Same with Sarah.  Maybe Aidan will be a little more easy going about it.. :)

    That is great you have an anniversary night out planned!  I hope it goes well.  What do you have planned?  

    Oh, I have an oversupply and pumping is not an issue. I can pump at least 6oz. in 10 minutes at night! I have thrown out TONS of BM because it has expired..........

    We don't have anything big planned because we want to stay close to home, but I made reservations for The Melting Pot (which is 10 minutes away) - DH and I love fondue!!! 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • I'm so jealous! I'd definitely pump if it were that easy for me! 

    The Melting Pot... yum!  In my book that is a big night.  I love that place but I haven't been in many years.  Anywhere you can have an appetizer, dinner, and desert all in fondue form is a wonderful place.  :)

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