When should people come?

abba916

I have family and friends offering to come to help once the baby gets here- and I'm so happy to have the help but I also dont want to be a total zombie...so when did you welcome vistors? after 2 weeks or a month?

also I'm not doing flu shots- and since LO is coming in January- I want to limit his exposure to too many people...

Also when did you first venture out? I know the baby will have a doc appt but when did you go to a family function or just go to the store? 

jnk062602

I was feeling a lot better after 2 weeks.  I bought Purell and had people use it before holding LO.  If people are truly coming to HELP, you will want them there those first 2 weeks, after that I could do anything around the house.  But that first week especially I just sat in the nursing glider or laid in bed.  So I appreciated the dinners brought over and when my mom did some laundry and the dishes for me.

Telyco

Evan was born about a week before Thanksgiving...so we went to my sister's house for a little while (at the time she lived about two minutes from us) and then we did extended stays at my parents and ILs houses over Christmas when he was about 6 weeks old. We didn't venture out too much over the winter other than that.

This time....we'll probably wait until Easter to do anything big.

I really wouldn't make specific plans with people to come over and help - just see how it goes and how you feel. I liked the visitors that stayed for a couple of hours...but would have hated anything longer than that...esp with the early days of breastfeeding where my boobs were basically hanging out 24-7.

Don't worry about hurting people's feelings - they will understand and it's kinda tough sh!t if they don't.

jnk062602

Oh I wanted to add - if people just want to visit, try to have them do so in the hospital, or wait until you feel better.  If they come to your house they are likely to stay a lot longer.  One of my friends drove about an hour to come so I felt bad asking them to leave, but they stayed for hours!  Even after I got up and took her to nurse, and by the time they left I was so drained and upset.  I remember watching LO sleep in their arms and thinking WTF I should be napping now too, this is the most she has slept all day.

sunnygirl05

Our family visited right away.  I think it was about two weeks when I had a few friends visit.  And we took Justin to Hallmark at a week old.  It was during the summer so I didn't have to worry about it being cold.  And to be honest, I was not really worried about taking him out, though I know some people wouldn't do it that early.   However, I am due in December and probably won't take the new baby out for a while because of the cold.

MelissaSue81

My first visitors that weren't family were about a week after we came home from the hospital..oh wait.. i lied..two of my coworkers came 2 days after i got home.. That was too soon.. but the ones a week after we were home were fine..

MelissaSue81

Oh.. and our first venture out was to Mommy and Me when she was 13 days old.. and then we went to a couple stores the day after that..

Two*True

Dude - you better not make me wait 2 weeks to meet the kid!

mrsoc

We had only immediate family come and visit in the hospital.  I just was not feeling up to anymore people than that, until probably Saturday (5 days after delivery), but even then we decided not to have anyone come to the hospital.  I am still not up to wanting anyone coming to the house to visit except for family.  Especially because I am BF, and I am essentially naked every 2 hours and I never know when I might be able to squeeze a nap in. I am thinking by this weekend that I will be ready (2 weeks after delivery).  As far as venturing out, we had 2 appts. yesterday and almost stopped at the store, but I was tired and wanted to get home and get settled.  I was a little apprehensive to go in public with Evan, but I figure there were a lot of general public people at the hospital and at the doctor's office, so exposure was already there.  We might go out tomorrow or Friday to pick up some other baby things we have found that we need. 

jewelsonu

my family came before I was out of the hospital.  It was awesome having my sister here the 1st weekend b/c she stayed up with me all night and let dh sleep since that was the only help we'd get.  My mom came back up 2 weeks later for 5 days and my sister came at 3 weeks. we went to the LC and doctors constantly.  Our first trip to Wegmans and the wine store was when he was 9 days old.  when he was 2 weeks old my mom and I went to th e outlets.

Mrs_Hark

it depends, if you have family & friends that are offering to come and help you don't want them all to be there at the same time one week and then no one around the next. definitely try and stagger them out over a period of time.

don't worry about being a zombie, if you have family & friends there to help one of the things they can help with is letting you rest. my mom would come over and i would say hi, then head off to bed for a nap. you need your rest and chances are no one is there to see you when they can have the baby!

 

 

abba916

Two*True:

Dude - you better not make me wait 2 weeks to meet the kid!

I figured you and K would be hospital visitors... (with margaritas)

ArcticFox

My friends and family visited me in the hospital (and will again), and then it will be a few weeks before they visit again. 

Honestly, it really depends on your recovery.  Like I was bedridden and in really bad shape, in horrible horrible pain and really uncomfortable, so it was awkward to have people come hang out in our bedroom.  To this day people still don't realize how bad it was.  I was just out of it too because the pain really clouded everything for me.

But, this time around I'm hoping for better, and I'm actually looking forward to people coming to visit in the hospital, rather than my house.  I don't want to worry about having stuff clean etc. at home.

day194

We had people come to the hospital. It did get to be a bit much.  I had Liam on a Friday afternoon, so everyone visited Saturday.  Since it was a weekend we had visitors all day long.  It was exhausting and the nurses got a little mad cause they weren't able to do all the stuff they were supposed to with us during the day and had to do it that night after everyone left (they are supposed to show you a bunch of different things about taking care of the baby and yourself).  Once home, my parents, sister and brother were there (they are from Buff and were staying with us).  All but my mom left, who stayed till the following Friday to help out.  I was so happy to have her help.  I think we had some visitor the next weekend.  The following week DH, my dad (who came back out from Buffalo) and my MIL all took off some time so someone was here every day with me to help.  I think having the help for the first two weeks was prefect.  I felt much better physically after that and had enough practice with Liam that I felt comfortable it just being us after that.

We first went out a week or so after Liam was born. Just quick to the grocery store and book store.  I can't remember when we started going out more regularily.  I think it was gradual.  Early on I just tried to keep him overed, so people wouldn't touch him or put their face in close to him. 

wendyj

My MIL came the day we got home from the hospital. It was so great to have her take care of meals, laundry, etc. because I was trying to get used to being a mommy and still feeling very sick (and actually ended up back in the hospital). My mom stayed with us when I got out of the hospital the second time to help me with Ian while DH was at work. It was the best thing because I was still not feeling well and was very nervous being by myself with Ian. Besides, she was able to drive us to Ian's follow-up appts. at the pedi's.

I didn't really have any visitors until I was feeling better. Then I relished it because I was going stir-crazy not having any contact with anyone during the day.

As for when we took him out, I was probably a "bad mommy" and took him to Panera and the grocery store at 10 days old after his weigh-in at the pedi. I was so tired of being in the hospital or house since his birth, and it was a beautiful May day. Dh and I brought him to a restaurant maybe a week or so after that. Since your little one will be born in Jan., you may end up staying in for a while. You'll know when you're ready to give everything a try.

Two*True

abba916:

Two*True:

Dude - you better not make me wait 2 weeks to meet the kid!

I figured you and K would be hospital visitors... (with margaritas)

::packs salt and margarita glasses in her hospital visit bag::