Selfish Baby Shower Vent? — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Selfish Baby Shower Vent?

I don't know why but I am a little sad. My shower is this Sunday, and no one is paying attention to my registry. I registered at BBRU and Target and nothing has been purchased off of it. I had a friend who received TWO cribs and 4 diaper bags and even a 150$ Breast pump and she didn't even plan on BFing. I just think its a good Idea to use a registry to avoid a gift being wasted. Am I hormonal? 
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Re: Selfish Baby Shower Vent?

  • Just remember to be GRATEFUL. No one has to get you anything. And most people shop the day of or day before a shower, anyway. But please, please, please stop feeling bad for yourself because people haven't shopped for you yet.
  • A lot of people waited until last minuet to buy things off my registry! We were really lucky beacuse almost everything we registered for we got but most of it was purchased the last few days!! There is still time!!! Smile Also- some people bought us stuff that was on our registry but didn't take the sheet to the front to have it marked off (yes we got multiples) although we are taking them back to purchase something else!! I was worried about the same thing but our shower was this past Saturday and (1) we got tons of awesome stuff for our lil man and (2) we had the greatest time with family and friends and I don't think that would have changed if they would have bought gifts that weren't on the registry! So don't worry about it until after your shower! There is still time! Enjoy your shower!

    Hope this makes you feel better!

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  • I don't think you're being hormonal, but keep in mind that some people won't go shopping until RIGHT before your shower. You still have almost a week to go so don't give up!
  • I would feel the same way. I'm hoping that my friends don't show up with stuff that they want to get me, I mean, what is a registry for? I'll be grateful regardless but I think it's rude to not get something off the registry list (if you're buying someone a gift). I always do bc obviously that's what they need/want...
  • Yeah, you are being selfish. People are taking their time to come and celebrate with you, and spending their money to buy a gift for your child. A registry isn't a summons- they can choose to give you whatever they want to. It's a gift.

    Just smile and say thank you.

  • Most likely people will flame you for posting that....BUT....I totally understand, we got like a million blankets, and of course no receipts.  I do have to add that being the savvy BRU shopper that I am, I also went to buy a gift for my girlfriends shower, and those registry print out things are a huge pain in the a$$.  More than 1/2 of the items didn't have $$ listed, and there were no pictures, so I can understand why people just say eff the registry.  Just be very careful opening gifts and hunt for those receipts as you go. Good Luck!
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  • It's pretty common that not everyone will buy from your registry.  I think a small handful of people purchased from ours and we ended up completing it ourselves.  The completion coupon they send towards the end is nice.... we saved almost $50.

    Most people purchased little outfits or random items such as bibs, socks, burp cloths, etc.  Of course these will definitely come in handy.  You may not get everything you asked for but I am sure you will still get things you can use.  Then you can use the coupon to finish off buying whatever else you need at the end.

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  • I feel ya.  I know a lot of people will flame, but it's hard when you have a shower later in your pregnancy and people get you a surplus of newborn clothes and towels.  I wouldn't worry about it, you never know what will happen when you go.  A lot of people bought us stuff off the registery that didn't come off online for some reason, so I would wait til the shower to be sad. 

    Have fun and just enjoy the shower!

  • they might not realize how the register works and didn't sign off on what they got. Just be thankful for every gift, even if it's not on the registry. Smile And be thankful for having a day that full devoted to you. Big Smile
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  • Just like we have fun shopping for cute little outfits for LO so do the people coming to the shower. It's not fun to go shopping for a bathtub or bottles or some other random item off of your registery. I always look at showers as a get together for family and friends, its really not about the gifts. Besides I plan on taking care of what my LO needs myself.
  • Alot of people don't tell the cashier the item they were buying is on a registry so it didn't get marked off.

    Also, if your friends and family are anything like my friend and family, they'll wait until the last minute to buy something.

    Don't worry and be grateful.  I'm sure you'll get lots of great stuff.

    Smile Smile

  • Thanks guys. Ive just had so much time on my hands since going on maternity leave and im so emo lately. I need to get a life, lol.
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  • We didn't get anything from our registry, mostly just clothes, which is honestly, the one thing we didn't need since I already bought a ton of hand me downs from craigslist. It's kind of a bummer, as I spent a lot of time choosing certain items, making sure there were affordable things there, etc, but at least I did my own research and know which items I want now, and will buy with my completion coupon :)  Just enjoy your party!!
    --Coral

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  • image greycoral:
    We didn't get anything from our registry, mostly just clothes, which is honestly, the one thing we didn't need since I already bought a ton of hand me downs from craigslist. It's kind of a bummer, as I spent a lot of time choosing certain items, making sure there were affordable things there, etc, but at least I did my own research and know which items I want now, and will buy with my completion coupon :)  Just enjoy your party!!

     

    This. Thanks! 

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  • I wish I could have had a real shower, much less a registry!  All of my family lives 15,000 miles away and they don't do baby showers here.  I'm jealous you even get to celebrate with everyone...I wish I could do that with no gifts at all!  Seriously...thank your lucky stars you get to have one.

    Just wanted to give you a little bit of perspective ;)

  • I feel you.  It would be my dream come true for every single gift at my shower (next month) to come from my registries.  I registered at babies r  us and strollermama.com.  

    However, I remember before being pregnant, I went to a few showers and did NOT buy off the registry.  I don't know why.  I looked at the stuff, and didnt like it, and chose to buy stuff I liked.  A diaper bag from one chick, and a little rock t-shirt for another who was having a boy.  

    In hindsight I wish I would have bought off the registry, because only now I understand the time, effort, thought, and TIME that goes into making a registry... the research, etc.  But since I love giving gifts, I also loved choosing a gift that was "me".  This is stupid thinking cuz its not about you or your friend, its about the unborn baby and his/her needs... which are addressed by the registry.

     I completely feel you pain, I really do.  It's shitty.  But hey, you are having a shower and you are getting gifts.  I just hope you get alot of receipts so that you can return/exchange for stuff you registered for :) 

  • just another point:

    I registered for a crapload (no pun intended) or diapers, all different sizes, the nicest most absorbent diapers... there is no way anyone is going to buy me diapers.  but thats what i want! thats what I'll need!  but it aint gonna happen.  LOL 

  • My shower was this Sunday and I didn't get a single gift from my registry. I am very grateful for what people got me but I feel a bit bad because I can't use most of it and there were no gift receipts so most of the stuff I just sent to goodwill already. I think people had fun shopping for the presents though so I guess they don't mind.
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  • I received gifts almost exclusively off my registries....that said, we don't know if the baby is a boy or girl. Every shower I've been to where the baby is Team Green has been this way...vs. if the parents know the sex, they seem to receive a TON of clothes instead of items off the registry.

    GL!

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  • image MrsErinnElizabeth:

    I wish I could have had a real shower, much less a registry!  All of my family lives 15,000 miles away and they don't do baby showers here.  I'm jealous you even get to celebrate with everyone...I wish I could do that with no gifts at all!  Seriously...thank your lucky stars you get to have one.

    Just wanted to give you a little bit of perspective ;)

    I agree!  My MIL threw us kind of an online shower thing, which was so sweet of her but it was still kind of sad because I wasn't there with them.  I wish I could have had a shower with everyone...And I'm not having one here, I don't have a whole lot of friends or anyone to celebrate with. 

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  • I think you just need to be happy that people want to attend your shower and celebrate your little ones impending arrival. Be grateful for whatever you receive and for the time spent with friends and family!

    I don't think anyone should feel at all entitled to any gifts at all just for having a baby, but that's just me. That being said, people were gracious enough to throw us showers and we did have a registry. About 1/2 of the items we received from our two showers were off the registry and then we received some really awesome other presents from family and friends (seriously -- the off registry stuff was so much more creative and meaningful in most cases!).

    Enjoy your shower!

  • Step away from the registry. 
  • Don't worry about it. I had the same apprehension before my shower because I kept checking the registry. Most people really do wait until the day before or the day of to buy a gift. Also, I had many items that were bought but not taken off the registry for some odd reason. It will be alright. Needless to say, I have stopped stalking the registry. Ha ha! :)
  • image SusieQ1982:

    Yeah, you are being selfish. People are taking their time to come and celebrate with you, and spending their money to buy a gift for your child. A registry isn't a summons- they can choose to give you whatever they want to. It's a gift.

    Just smile and say thank you.

    this. 

  • If it makes you feel better.... my shower was on a sunday but stuff didnt start coming off my registry until Thursday night. Alot of people go last minute for showers. It seems to be the norm.
    -------------------------------
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    Married my love 4/22/2006
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    Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
    Pregnancy Ticker}
  • image kdiaisfly:
    I would feel the same way. I'm hoping that my friends don't show up with stuff that they want to get me, I mean, what is a registry for? I'll be grateful regardless but I think it's rude to not get something off the registry list (if you're buying someone a gift). I always do bc obviously that's what they need/want...

    I honestly hope you are kidding

    You think its rude for someone to buy you a gift just because they didnt pick something you chose?

    -------------------------------
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    Married my love 4/22/2006
    DD born 10/12/2009
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    Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
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  • Some of my favorite shower gifts were things that weren't even on my registry!
  • image jelina:
    I can't use most of it and there were no gift receipts so most of the stuff I just sent to goodwill already.

    Really?  Like what can't you use?

  • image SmallandNeedy:
    Just remember to be GRATEFUL. No one has to get you anything. And most people shop the day of or day before a shower, anyway. But please, please, please stop feeling bad for yourself because people haven't shopped for you yet.

    This. No one is required to provide anything for your child other than you, and any help is awesome. We arnt having a shower nor has anyone gotten anything for us, but thats just how we are. Remember that you can return things as well, and a lot of people go the gift card route also.

  • I find that a lot of people don't usually buy stuff for a shower until a day or two before the shower.  A lot of people might go out Friday evening or Saturday to get gifts so you might see a lot come off then. 

  • Some of my favorite shower gifts were not on my registary.... Moms like to give things that were beneficial to them when they had a baby.. this is the way that I go now... If I go to a shower,  I will buy what I think they will use... Be grateful on what you get.. and to the one woman who gave things away to goodwill... why would you do that before the baby is born... do you really know everything that you will need for a newborn?
  • Lots of places are great about returning things with no reciepts. I pushed a basket full of stuff into target with only two gift receipts and they took it all back, and put it on a gift card. Yes the money can only be spent there but i love target, adn walmart was great too. IMO it was fun to get to return lots of things i got to shop with someone elses money :) We were able to buy our car seat adn everything left on my registry with all the money left from returns.

  • I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is either a joke or you don't really mean what you are writing, because it is absolutely selfish, rude and ungrateful to question what people buy you. I will repeat what I always say to moms and brides to be, YOU are the adult/parent, YOU should buy the things you need/want and be happy if you get anything at all. Quit being sad that people aren't buying you everything off your registry and be happy that they want to celebrate with you at the shower. That is really the important part isn't it?

    Ugh, it never fails to amaze me how many women feel the same way as you. So sad really. ?

  • image axr8111:

    I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is either a joke or you don't really mean what you are writing, because it is absolutely selfish, rude and ungrateful to question what people buy you. I will repeat what I always say to moms and brides to be, YOU are the adult/parent, YOU should buy the things you need/want and be happy if you get anything at all. Quit being sad that people aren't buying you everything off your registry and be happy that they want to celebrate with you at the shower. That is really the important part isn't it?

    Ugh, it never fails to amaze me how many women feel the same way as you. So sad really.  

     

    HOW exactly does this equate to giving her "the benefit of the doubt"

    You're kind of an idiot. 

  • image axr8111:

    I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is either a joke or you don't really mean what you are writing, because it is absolutely selfish, rude and ungrateful to question what people buy you. I will repeat what I always say to moms and brides to be, YOU are the adult/parent, YOU should buy the things you need/want and be happy if you get anything at all. Quit being sad that people aren't buying you everything off your registry and be happy that they want to celebrate with you at the shower. That is really the important part isn't it?

    Ugh, it never fails to amaze me how many women feel the same way as you. So sad really.  

     

    HOW exactly does this equate to giving her "the benefit of the doubt"

    You're kind of an idiot. 

  • A lot of people will probably be doing their shopping on Saturday...
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  • image emakoo01:
    image axr8111:

    I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is either a joke or you don't really mean what you are writing, because it is absolutely selfish, rude and ungrateful to question what people buy you. I will repeat what I always say to moms and brides to be, YOU are the adult/parent, YOU should buy the things you need/want and be happy if you get anything at all. Quit being sad that people aren't buying you everything off your registry and be happy that they want to celebrate with you at the shower. That is really the important part isn't it?

    Ugh, it never fails to amaze me how many women feel the same way as you. So sad really.  

     

    HOW exactly does this equate to giving her "the benefit of the doubt"

    You're kind of an idiot. 

    Shes not an idiot. Just someone who is probably tired of reading shower vents. They are ridiculous in the first place. No offence to the OP because we have seen much, much worse on here.

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