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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I think my baby's delayed.
This is a repost from the 6-9 month board. It was suggested that I ask over here.
DD is 13 months, but she hasn't hit many of the milestones that she should have. I know that everyone is different and it can all vary, but I feel like she's really behind.
She won't eat any food. All she wants is formula and I know that she needs more than that. I've tried everything, and the kid won't eat. She has a tongue thrust, so I don't know if that's the reason she won't eat. I know it's harder and it takes her a lot longer, but she won't even try anymore. I let her hold the spoon to see if maybe she wanted to feed her self, but she just threw it and cried. I've tried to get her to drink out of a cup, but she only wants a bottle. She's lost weight, and she's back in her 6-9 month clothes.
She's also not talking. And I know that a lot of kids don't have many words when they're 1, but she doesn't even try. She won't try to immitate any noises or sounds that I make. I've tried getting her to say mama or dada, but she's got nothing. She doesn't even babble that much.
She didn't crawl until she was almost 11 months, so I'm not execting her to walk anytime soon, but I'm really concerned about her in all the other aspects.
She doesn't want to play with toys or be in a bouncer or anything like that. She won't play on the floor by herself. If I'm not holding her, she'll scream her head off and cry until I pick her up. I know that I shouldn't hold her all of the time, and I've been trying to let her cry it out and soothe herself but she screams like she's in pain. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I should add that I have tried to talk to our pedi about this, but I haven't really been given the opportunity to talk to him. Everytime I call he acts like he's in such a rush and I feel like he's not listening to me. I left another message this morning and I never heard anything. If I don't hear anything by tomorrow I'm going to make an appointment to go in.
So I guess I'm asking if anyone else has ever been throuh something similar or if you had any idea of activities that might be more stimulating. I don't know if that's what she needs because she doesn't really play with any toys on her own. I'm desperate for any advice.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I think my baby's delayed.
It sounds like you need to find a new pediatrician, one that will listen to and acknowledge your concerns. It sounds like your child might need to go to a speech therapist (for the tongue thrust).
I'd ask a local board for pedi recommendations and switch pronto, then talk with the new one who shows they have time for you.
All I can tell you is my babe has loved going outside from day one- looking at the trees, birds, flowers. Try that and good luck!
Definitely don't compare your child to someone else's. every child progresses at their own pace.
Definitely talk to the pedi. If she's lost weight and isn't improving they should be able to see that right away looking at the charts. If you are not satisfied with what the pedi tells you, get a 2nd opinion and see another pedi. You have every right to do that and there is nothing wrong with that.
One question though, has she had any medical problems since she was born? Any major issues? I ask this because one of my God-children was born with a congenital heart defect and had to have major heart surgery when she was almost 3 months old. This really set her back developmentally because her little body was concentrating so hard on healing instead of doing the normal milestones that babies do. She didn't walk until closer to 2. But on the bright side, there was help out there for her because she had a couple different types of therapists that worked with her and after a few months she did a complete change. And she's in preschool now and is totally fine.
Sorry this got so long but again, get on that pedi's butt, and if you are not satisfied, see another one. There is help for her if need be. Good luck!
No, she's never had any major health issues.
Yeah, I couldn't begin to tell you where you baby is developmentally but, the things that you describe here are all things Emerson is still working on and not very good with at almost 18 months.
I would definately consider another dr since he didn't call you back today. That would just really rub me the wrong way.
Ok that's good. I didn't tell you all that to scare you! Sorry if it freaked you out but it got me thinking...
I also 2nd with the other opinions though on maybe finding a different pedi who will show more interest and concern for his patient.
This might be a silly question, but is ECI early intervention? And if so, how do I go about doing that?
Early Childhood Intervention
It might be called something else depending on what state you live in. Sometimes it's EI. In Idaho, it's something like the Infant & Toddler program (that doesn't sound quite right though. . .I'm drawing a total blank, and my son went for Physical Therapy!!!). It's run by our state's Health & Welfare program.
I have no idea if your DD is delayed or needs EI. I agree with the other posts about finding a new pedi.
With that said, DD refused to eat anything other than breastmilk and puffs until she was about 11 months old. I was freaking out at that point. However, by the time she was a year, she went straight to table foods and is thankfully eating completely normal now. The fact that your DD is over a year seems a little concerning, but then again she's only 2 months older than my DD was when she started eating.
My DD barely says anything (pretty much just Dada consistently, and sometimes Mama. She said "hello" ONCE, and I think she's say "Yeh" a few times), and I'm not concerned about her speech at all. DH and I were both late talkers. Her babbling is very "complex" though, like she thinks she's talking to us (many different inflections and sounds). ?My point is that speech shouldn't be a concern at this point for you unless she isn't babbling at all. Out of anything you said, the thing that seemed MOST concerning to me is that she won't sit and play. I don't think that's typical behavior for a 13 month old. DD sat and played by herself since she was at least 7 or 8 months. Has she EVER played on her own?
My son has had some difficulty with solids and also isnt saying any words (maybe daddy this week, im not sure). I've been told they are correlated. I was recently talking to a mom who's 2 yo DS went to an occupational therapist for eating and he also saw a speech therapist. She said they often go hand in hand. Have you tried much finger foods? When my DS was done eating purees, he was DONE. He didnt want anything on a spoon. Unfortunately he also wasnt able to eat finger foods at that time without gagging so we had a good 2 month period where he didnt eat much and lost weight. He finally did start eating (though hes insanely picky) and his weight came back up. Have you tried vanilla yogurt? Even when my DS was completly refusing to eat, I could still get vanilla yogurt in him. I think the taste mimics formula/milk. If you have any questions about feeding issues, feel free to page me. I'm no expert but ive done a good amount of research.
Maybe she needs some new toys? My DS has been over being "in" something like a bouncer for months. I recently had to revamp our toys to stuff my DS seems to be into right now. For him that's stacking, sorting, and nesting things so the big legos and nesting bowls/boxes. I also find at this age they are more into household objects than their toys. My DS has more fun with kitchen bowls and measuring cups than anything in his toy bin.
And ditto pp to get a new pedi. Our pedi is also always in a hurry and we'll see someone new in the same office for our 15 month appt.
No. She's never really been an independent baby. She won't play on her own.
Well does she sit and play if you're playing "with" her? That's one thing. If all she wants is to be held and could care less about toys (which is how it sounded in your OP), then to me that's another. Seriously, though, but what do I know.
I wanted to add that my DD has some food allergies that I truly think could have affected her refusal to eat. Also I wanted to clarify that she never ate any kind of cereals or purees, period. Straight from the boob to finger/table food.
I think the last reply about delayed speech being related to delayed eating is interesting. I wonder if this could explain my DD...??
Me and my H have both tried getting down on the floor and playing with her. She doesn't even look at her toys. We both crawl and roll around on the floor. She'll look at us, but she doesn't interact. When we're done being silly, she'll just scream to be held.
Honestly, of the things you mentioned this is the one that would be concerning to me. I would definitely talk to your pedi (or a new pedi) about this.
my daughter doesn't really play in the sense of sitting down on the floor and manipulate toys, but she does go around and pushes her carts, toys, and she wont stay still...she is on the go and crawls and walks all over the place. All kids are different though but definitely find another Doctor!! and you should make an apt for her ASAP!
good luck!
This is what you should do:
1. Call Early Intervention yourself and get your child evaluated. It sounds like your child might need speech therapy (They can help with feeding and swallowing) and physical therapy(to help with motor skills). Make sure you tell them all of your concerns.
2. Get a different pedi
Emily 8.8.08
Madeline 1.2.11
William 8.5.12
So sorry you're dealing with this.
1) Are you just trying to feed her purees? Or finger foods, too? A lot of babies hate being fed purees, but love eating finger foods on their own. Puffs are a good place to start, or pieces of banana maybe (coated in baby cereal to make it easier to pick up).
2) Language development is so varied, it's hard to use that as a measure. Does it seem like she understands some of the words you say to her, even if she's not saying words herself? Does she respond to her name? Point at things?
3) Is she cruising at all? Maybe prefers to be up and moving, rather than sitting on the floor? If she is screaming that hard to be picked up, but somewhat consoled when you're soothing her, it makes me wonder if something else is wrong... allergies or reflux or some other tummy issues, maybe. Honestly, with the eating problems and weight loss, along with that amount of crying, I know my pedi would suggest a GI consult.
Get to a new pediatrician immediately. Be assertive... come with a list of everything that's bothering you, and ask about consults with Early Intervention and possibly a specialist (maybe GI). You'll feel better when you take control of things, and hopefully so will your sweet baby. Good luck!!
ETA -- I reread your post, and think maybe it's worth going in to see your pedi one last time before making an appt with a new one. So when/if he does call back, tell him you need an appt, THIS week. Even if he thinks you don't. And then come in with your list. You are her mother... you know what's best for your baby. Be clear about your instincts.
As everyone and their grandma has said - SWITCH PEDIS. It's just not cool that he isn't somewhat validating your concerns as a mother. I have a proactive pediatrician, and I used to have one that poo-pooed my concerns. Switching was hard, emotionally (why I have no clue), but I am so so soooo grateful I did.
And yes, get an ECI evaluation. I would TRY to put my worries aside until then, until they can tell you something. GL - we went through ECI (he didn't qualify per se, but I had some sensory concerns, so it was all sensory integration based) and he just was released after 5 months. I got some invaluable tips from the OT.. it was great.
Every state has Early Intervention. You as the parent can make the call requesting an eval. You do not need to wait for the dr.
Even if she doesn't qualify for services, you will get great ideas and tips from the people evaluating her.
Call ASAP. If she does need it, it's best she gets it now rather than later.
And I would switch pedi too. If he doesn't have time for you now, what would happen if she, god forbid, got a serious illness.
I saw your post on 6-12, but wanted to reply here too to make sure you see it.
I just wanted to offer some advice and support since I work for an early intervention program in Texas. Try not to worry, even thought that's easier said than done. I'm sure everything will be just fine and in a couple years you won't be able to slow her down or get her to stop talking!
First off I would get a new pedi. If they aren't listening to you about her development, they should at least listen to your concerns about her losing weight. That's pretty big imo. Next I would ask for a referral to your local early intervention program. They don't require a dr. referral though, so if your pedi. won't/doesn't refer you then just call yourself. They'll set you up with a full developmental evaluation and help you figure out what (if anything) is going on. The losing weight, tongue thrust, always screaming to be held and not wanting to play...these are all things that honestly do need to get checked out.
The good news is she's still very very young and IF they do find that something is going on, now is the best time to intervene and give her a little boost. Good for you for paying attention to your little girl and wanting to do what's best for her. GL! Feel free to pm me if you have any questions about EI.
I'm sure she's okay, but from what you've said I'd be most concerned about the not wanting to play alone and crying until she's held. I wonder if she has undiagnosed reflux or something that is making her uncomfortable. I say that because my DD was very high needs until she was around 6 months old. She had severe reflux and even though it was treated, she was always a bit uncomfortable until she grew out of it.
How is your DD sleeping? That should tell you a little about whether or not she's able to settle on her own. We never did CIO, so I'm no expert, but I don't think in your case that I would do it either. As exhausting as it is, it seems that she needs you right now.
I wouldn't worry about the solid foods or the speech issue. All children develop at their own rate with that. It sounds like she'll do it in her own time.
I'm sorry that you're so worried and I know it's hard on you. If I were you, I'd find a different pedi and demand for her to be evaluated both physically and to go over milestones. If only to set your mind at ease.
First of all, I totally understand your concern. DS is delayed in his gross motor skills and still isn't walking at 16 months. It's very frustrating and you spend 90% of your days trying to think of ways to help them along. It all comes with the territory of being a parent.
I would get a new pediatrician. Any doctor that won't listen to you or allow you to ask questions isn't one you want caring for your child. I would also all your state's EI hotline and request an evaluation. You should be able to get someone out to see her within a few weeks.
In the meantime, I would just try to interact with her as much as I could. As for the solids, it's not unheard of for a 13 month old to still have some issues with food. She probably does need to see a speech therapist if a tongue thrust is still an issue at this point. How long have you been trying to feed her solids? Did you start her at 6 months?
I would look into buying a few more "older" toys like puzzles or stacking toys, and I wouldn't put her in the bouncer anymore. If you see an EI physical therapist, that will probably be the first thing they tell you. If she's delayed in her gross motor skills you should be giving her a lot of "floor time". I think 13 months is a bit too old for it.