Am I just being a momma bear? — The Bump
Blended Families

Am I just being a momma bear?

I'm not one to dwell on things, but for some reason this just kinda stuck w/me. Please let me know if I am just being stupid & if I need to just drop it.

On Saturday we were bored so we decided to walk around the mall looking for Halloween stores. On our way we passed by Old Navy & I remembered that their jeans were on sale for 11$ & Carter only has 2 nice pair (aka no holes in the knees!) so we stopped in there. I was unsure of the size he needs so we were in the dressing room for about 10 min trying to decide which was the best size. Once we decided I went back to the rack to choose what color/style we wanted. Somewhere in the middle of that dh said something like "I don't care, lets just get out of here." I said "it's not like we have anything to do today anyways" and his response was "The last thing I want to do is spend my day shopping for clothes for him." That kind of hurt my feelings. I wanted to rebuff with something but I didn't want to make a scene. We had only been in the store for 15 min. If it were his son that needed clothes would he have had the same reaction? To be clear I RARELY go shopping for kids clothes when I am with dh. I typically just take Carter when he get off from pre-school & go because i know my dh doesn't care for "that" kind of shopping. Anyways, because I felt like he was rejecting my son, it hurt my feelings. We are married now & his dad isn't in the picture. Carter didn't notice but I would hate for this situation to repeat itself when he is older & maybe feels rejected from my dh.

Am I just being a momma bear? Am I just making a big issue out of something that I shouldn't be?

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My oh my! Carter is now 7yrs old! Cora was welcomed into this world on 08-19-2010 and her brother or sister will be here Feb 2013. I'm not sure if we are ready to be outnumbered!
Hindsight- "Therapy doesn't cure stupid."

Re: Am I just being a momma bear?

  • It's hard to tell. My guess is he just meant he didn't want to be clothes shopping, period. Had you been looking at things for yourself he probably would have said for you instead of for him. But, to be honest I probably would have taken it the same way you did and be a little hurt by it too. I would just ask him! Tell him, hey remember you said this over the weekend and it has been bothering me, this is how I took it. Maybe just point out that as DS gets older he may take it the same way so just to be cautious of those kinds of comments.

    I would be a little upset too, but I don't think you should make too big of a deal out it.

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  • My guess is that you are being sensitive because he used the word "him" and that your DH didn't mean to make it a mine v.s yours.ours issue.

    I would give him teh benefit of the doubt that it was just about shopping, unless something similar happens again.

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  • I can understand your feelings but I have a feeling that he didn't want to be shopping for clothes at all and the accent wasn't meant to be on "him" rather  that he didn't want to be clothes shopping for anyone.  I would either ask or I would drop it and move on.  Guys don't like shopping.  I have taken SD shopping at hre favorite store and DH stays in the car!  I have also ordered clothes for her online just to show her and he could care less - and it is his daughter. 

     

  • Most men would rather gouge out their own eyeballs than go shopping.  Its not about your son.
    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
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  • Ok, thanks ladies! I'll just put the subject to rest in my mind now.
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    a wedding website




    My oh my! Carter is now 7yrs old! Cora was welcomed into this world on 08-19-2010 and her brother or sister will be here Feb 2013. I'm not sure if we are ready to be outnumbered!
    Hindsight- "Therapy doesn't cure stupid."
  • My DH acts like that about HIS kids! I would never dream of taking my DH shopping with me for clothes for the kids. Men are not wired the way we are when it comes to shopping and you have to see it as just that. The few men that are are just that------FEW. You're lucky he lasted 15 min. My Dh would have already been pitching a fit at the door!
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  • Yeah, I'd let it go. DH doesn't want to ever go shopping with me, the kids, or himself. Ha. He makes me go out and buy his clothes. I agree that most men would rather gouge out their eyes than shop. He loves your boy. I wouldn't worry about it. Smile
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