Is anyone still undecided about BF'ing?

GreenEyedGal

I definitly am. I go back and forth and sometimes I can't believe that I contemplate not BF'ing. At first I was going to bf and that was that, period. Now that time is drawing close I am uneasy about it. I guess I was naive about it at first and thought that all you did was plop the baby on your boob and that was that. Now that I've educated myself, I'm scared. Nipples being sore, bleeding, cracked, thrush, masitits, over supply, under supply and the many other complications have me running in the other direction.

Plus, (and I realize this next statement makes me sound completely selfish) but I so SO want my body back. I don't want to have to worry about what I'm eating anymore, I want to lose weight without having to worry about my supply dropping, etc. I feel like such a horrible mother for contemplating not giving my baby the best simply for my own selfish reasons.

It doesn't help that DH doesn't support me on bf'ing 100%. I mean, he's happy with whatever I choose to do but I know that he would rather I not bf because he wants to participate in the feedings too, which I completely and totally understand. I want him to join in on the "fun" of feeding and bonding with our son as well.

I'm just so dissapointed in myself for thinking about giving up before I even try. In the end, I probably am going to give it a try but I can't promise that I will stick to it.

Anyone else feel the same?

ellemoney:)

I'm not undecided this time, b/c I know I'm going to FF again, but when I was pregnant with Layla I was unsure.?

I felt really pressured that I *had* to BF and I just really didn't have it in my heart to do it. ?Then, I had the family experiences to look at. In my family (and I'm not at all trying to say this is the norm) the 3 kids who were BF are in the hospital and sick much more than the 2 who weren't.?

Then I talked to my Aunt, who DID BF.. and I was telling her that I just didn't know what to do, that I might try it or try to just pump. And she said "I'm going to be honest with you. It will never work if you're not completely committed to it. If you're not sure you want to, it's not going to work." She said "it's not easy, and if you aren't 100%, then you're just going to have trouble." And I believed her, b/c I knew she was going to be honest with me.

I just knew that wasn't something I was comfortable with and DH supported my decision either way.

Oddly enough, I got flack from my dad (who I now don't speak to, but for different reasons).. and my aunt's husband (the one who I spoke with) said something about it. I thought it was weird that those 2 men said something. Other than that, no one said anything.

Good Luck with your decision. I know how hard it is. And you probably will feel guilty after LO is born and you FF or if BFing doesn't work. I did.. and someone on the nest made me feel much better, they said the fact that you're even worried about what you're doing makes you a wonderful, great mother. ?But you're doing what is best for you and that ultimately is what is best for baby, too.

Sorry this is so long! HTH!?

vrt235

I understand your dilemma.  My main issues with it are 1) I have older kids that I did not BF and I'm not sure I want to deal with the stress of figuring it out while taking care of the rest of my family  2) I want to go back on my anti-depressants and migraine meds  3) I also want to stop worrying about what I'm eating, etc.  and 4) I want to be able to have a break from the baby and hand him over to others for feedings

 I feel guilty for my reasons when I hear "breast is best" and I've had a few people tell me they don't agree with my decision.

 It's really stressful!!!

 

 

Kdonn15

I think it's great that you'll give it a try and take it from there, no one's saying you need to bf for a certain period of time, I think most would say any amount of breast milk your baby receives is beneficial.

I do see how breastfeeding is overwhelming too....I plan to breastfeed for as long as I can (but I'll wean at a year old).  Not sure if it'll work for me with going back to work and pumping and keeping up supply and whatnot, but it's worth a try.  Good luck!

axr8111

First, being nervous is normal. It's something you've never done before and so of course it's scary. Second, if you want your body back, BF is a great way to do it! I slimmed down so quickly and I know it was because of BF because as soon as I stopped I gained a few pounds back. Third if you want DH to participate, then commit to pumping. It's a pain but it will give you a break and give DH time to bond by feeding baby. It's hard that DH isn't supportive because that's what you will need during that time. All I can say is your feeling are not uncommon but maybe give it a try and see how it goes before you give up. But remember it may not be perfectly easy starting out, but it might actually be easier than doing formula. Trust me, at 3am with a crying baby, the last thing you are going to want to do is make a bottle. BF is just easier. Maybe set a goal of 1 month and see how it goes. You can even rent a pump during that month so that you don't spend the money in case you bag it early. Your hospital can recommend a place to rent a hospital grade one that is sanitary and actually much more efficient than the ones you would buy at that store. Think about it, you aren't going to have you body back in a month anyway so that's a realistic goal. I don't mean to pressure you but just wanted to be source of encouragement. It's a big deal and something so new and so of course it just seems too hard, but really it's not. Good luck with your decision.?

p0nd77

I feel the same way.  Honestly, I just don't feel all that comfortable with breast feeding.  I know myself well enough that I know I will never be comfortable feeding in front of other people, and I also feel uncomfortable about pumping (not trying to upset others, but for me, I think it would make me feel like a cow).  I want to be someone who is excited and open to doing it, but I don't think it is me deep down inside.  I want to be a good mom and give my baby the best, plus I worry that the staff at the hospital will be judgemental and make me feel even guiltier for not doing it after labor, so I'm going to give it a try.  But I know right now that I will struggle with it. 

lcmeg

i agree that is sounds daunting... but seriously, if you can do it, i think you should. At least give it a try.

first of all, your baby is gonna be born in the middle of the one of the worst flu seasons... breastfeeding helps your baby build up a healthy and strong immune system. to me that is reason enough.

Plus, on the whole getting your body back issue... i totally understand about wanting to just eat and drink what you want after 9 months of constantly thinking about your LO's needs... but remember that breastfeeding helps women lose all that extra baby weight. women who breastfeed burn an extra 600 calories a day... i've heard its one of the best ways to get your body back after giving birth.

and as far as the father helping with feedings... breast pump! i totally plan on pumping, once me and the baby settle into the routine of breastfeeding, so that her daddy can experience feedings as well. not only allowing them to bond more, but giving me a break.

a good friend of mine has a 4 month year old, and its true at the beginning breastfeeding was hard... it took awhile to figure out the best routine and get her milk flowing, etc. but now, its seriously just second nature to her, and as the baby grows they don't need to feed quite as often. 

i'm sure you've read up on it, but here are some of the many benefits of breastfeeding...

https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-breastfeeding-benefits-you-and-your-baby_8910.bc

Karmanmsw

With my first baby I was very afraid of breastfeeding.  I had lots of apprehension about it but I did try it and loved it.  You won't know if it is right for you until you try it.  You may hate but you may love it.  I found that once we got things down it was way more convenient than bottles, especially at night!  I loved the contact and closeness we shared during those times too.  Every baby is different so you may have a baby who takes to nursing super fast or you may not.  Whatever you decide will be fine...don't let anyone make you feel bad either way...But my advice is give it a try for a few weeks.  If it doesn't work for you, at least you tried and your baby got the benefit at the beginning. 

Brooke208

I was.  DS wouldn't bf and ended up on formula.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do with DD.  Unfortunately I am going to be on meds for at least 6 months that aren't safe for baby so that has made my choice for me.  I'm okay with it... DS thrived on formula and is happy, healthy, and smart.  I'm not going to get all hung up on something I can't change.

jennabee13

I was super stressed about making this decision, and only recently when I silently made the decision to FF I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was going back and forth between pumping and FF, and then I started to read a La Leche League book about BFing and I got so uncomfortable reading it that I knew I just wasn't going to be able to handle it.

Like some of the other ladies, I'm more concerned about dealing with comments from the hospital nurses and family...but I feel best about my decision because it makes me feel at ease. A less-stressed mommy is a happier mommy, if you ask me.  

epopp85

I feel the same but for different reasons.  I'm not sure why, but I just can't feel comfortable with the idea of BFing.  It just completely grosses me out which is counterintuitive since I can participate in surgeries etc without batting an eye.  DH is 1000% for me BFing which is the only reason I have agreed to try past the colostrum stage.  I understand that it's potentially cheaper, supposedly better for them etc, I just can't wrap my head around being a milk bar. 

I also don't want to because I do want DH and everyone else to be able to feed him.  I know, I know, pumping and what not, but what if that doesn't work??  And it's not like my job or boss will be very supportive of me pumping at work either.  He wanted to fire me just for wanting to take 6wks mat leave.

I don't know, the whole thing makes me feel weird.  I actually froze up and got so tense that I made myself sick when DH and I did some self education online with how to videos and things.  I just never saw myself in that role I guess.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I do BF, and I recommend it.  I'll give you my perspective as a new mom.

Though it was difficult in the beginning, I've decided that just sticking out the first month has been well worth it. 

In regards to nipple pain:  My nipples adjusted after about 1.5 weeks, which really isn't very long at all, and though they did crack a little, and my left one bled a little, I spoke with a couple of Lactation Consultants, and by the 2 week mark they were fully healed, and he was latching on properly and has ever since.

In regards to getting your body back:  BF-ing causes your uterus to contract back to normal size much faster than if you do not BF.  When I began BF-ing, I could actually feel my uterus contract and within a couple of weeks it was almost back to normal size, I could actually see my stomach get smaller every day.  Also, the postpartum bleeding stops more quickly if you BF (because your uterus is contracting as you BF).

 As for eating what you want:  there's not a ton of stuff that you can't have, really and like I said, even if you only do it for a few weeks, you get the added advantage of getting to eat extra quantities of food every day (about 500 calories) to make up for the BF-ing.

For allowing your husband to help:  I pump a bottle here and there to allow my DH to give him a bottle

Price-wise:  It's free!

My best recommendation is this, and something I just came to realize this week:  If you do decide to try, stick it out for a full month.  The first couple of weeks are "practice" for you and baby to figure out how to make things work for both of you.  The last couple of weeks are spent "perfecting" it, and baby becomes much more proficient at it and can finish a breast in under 10 minutes.   If it's still not working for you at that point, or you just decide it's not something you want to continue, then at least you gave it a full shot, and your baby still got a month's worth of your antibodies.

 Ultimately, if you decide not to try at all, don't feel bad, formula's still good, there are just advantages for both you and baby if you do BF. 

 

 

HRALFS

I am not undecided, but do feel its a completely personal choice that only you can decide.

Have you thought about taking a BF class? I took one last night and it was really helpful. Taking a class might just guide you in your decision either way. To be honest after taking the class, I realize now how BIG of a commitment bf will be.?

sestock17

Your reasons for bfing or not are your own and you alone have to be comfortable with the decision.  The one thing I am going to tell you that I learned in my bfing class was that you really don't need to watch what you eat as much as you think you do.  You can basically eat whatever you want and still drink alcohol about 2 hours before you BF.  Some foods might not totally agree with LO, but you can eat spicy food, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, etc.. 

I would suggest taking a class if you are still undecided.  That way you can get your questions answered and make an informed decision.  GL.

BeccaMac

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. 

I was feeling horrible about myself for thinking about not BFing.  I think I'm going to give it a go and see what happens from there.  I'll probably try to pump too so DH can have some feeding-bonding time.

I know I didn't post this question but I want to thank all the ladies who shared!

carlysuesmith

I feel the same way as the poster and BeccaMac.  I know that I want to BF, but maybe not "breast" feed as much as pump.  I'm just uncertian and scared and nervous.  I've been praying for patience and calm nerves about the whole thing, and I'm still planning on pumping so that DH and others can participate..... it just comes down to that I'm scared. 

I have read the benefits of being BF, so I'm definitely on board with breast milk, I'm just scared and waffling as to how to get it to him......  thanks everyone for the advice though.  It'll just be something I'll have to figure out as I go.....and get over my fears

nadiarl

I think your feelings are normal. Trying it out for a little while (as short as a week or two) may be good. Even just doing it in the hospital would be good. You can always switch to formula, but you can't switch to breastfeeding later.