So I'm pretty sure I'm opting for a c-section :(

ArcticFox

I had a 4th degree tear with my first baby, and it was bad.  They used a vacuum and forceps and it took an hour to sew me up, and I was in horrible pain for over a month and had lasting soreness for a long time (in fact I still get soreness).

I have been beating myself up over this decision since I got pregnant again, but I was talking to my aunt about how I felt like I didn't get to really bond with my daughter when she was born because I was in so much pain and struggling so bad (like I couldn't sit up straight to BF), and she said she noticed that when she stayed for the 2nd week, that there was clearly very little bonding (I mean, I could barely hold the baby).

Makes me so absolutely sad, and since this time I have 2 kids I will be responsible for (DH can only take a week off, my aunt comes week 2), I am going to opt for the c-section.  My aunt reminding me of how little i could care for my newborn daughter brought tears to my eyes.  True, I might not tear again, but I can't risk that (and risk the permanent damage from even a smaller tear).

Feels like there is no "right" decision, but I can 'make peace' with the c-section decision now.

B!tchBeckman

~you have to heal with a c-section too-

and you have a weight lifting restriction/driving restriction.

you may not be able to lift your DD after the surgery for a few weeks.

(more options to consider)

but good luck with whatever you choose. there's no wrong way to bring a baby into this world!

Bonzer

wow, I'm sorry you have to try to decide either way. that sucks.

I cant' imagine having all that tearing, I had a c-section the first time and I'm hoping for a vbac this time.

I think either way the recovery probably sucks. Hopefully yours is fast and simple

april_lynn_08

Ouch! A 4th degree tear sounds super painful! I'm sorry that you had problems bonding with your first baby because of your complications. If you feel your making the right choice, then go for it! You know what's right for you, your body, and your family. Good luck!

zoieglow

I ended up having to have one and I was extremely upset about it when they told me. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have been weighing this throughout your pregnancy. But if it is any consolation to you, it sounds like your c-section recovery can only be better than your last recovery. It only took me a week to feel pretty great again. I ended up being really happy with the c-section. Try not to be too upset about it when you go in - just try to enjoy the moment.

Heather1979

Seriously- if having a C section eases you from worry you wouldn't otherwise have, that may be worth it alone to opt for the C section. I'd be frightened at the prospect of it happening again if it was that bad the first time, and I understand how you must be feeling.

 

thetwistedwillow

May I offer a suggestion? Try delivering baby in a different position other than the lithotomy position (on your back or semi-sitting in the bed). Squatting is proven to be one of the best positions and causes minimal to not tearing because it allows the perineum to slowly stretch.

Something to think about if you're still not at peace with your decision. No matter what you choose have a healthy delivery!

rcollier_17

Praying for your sake that the recovery of the c-section will be better, because there's definitely a chance that it won't be. I'd hate to see you go through a major surgery and have it be as horrible as the vaginal birth.

getnmarried910

You have to do what is best for you, and don't feel bad about that.  While I'm not a fan of elective c-sections for things like "I don't want a cone-headed baby" (yes someone actually told me that), this case is different, and I don't think I'd want to risk another fourth degree tear either!

userdeleted

I'm glad you're at peace with your decision and I hope that this makes the newborn period less stressful for you this time around

Bugs_83

I just wanted to tell you, you are not alone in your decision. I am also opting for a c-section this time around. I also had a 4th degree tear with 2 hours of stitching up and pain from it still to this day. I also have to have bladder reconstruction surgery when I am done having babies from the 4th degree tear. I talked in length with my doctor about it and she told me that it was totally my choice but if it was her she would do a c-section. The surgery scares me but I have to do what?s best for me and my baby. The thought of doing further damage to my bladder is scary enough.