Advice....I'm New!

Hey, I'm new here. My husband and I are conisdering adoption. We want to bring a child into our home that already needs us. When I read adoption stories or what adoption stories on television it seems like everyone that has decided to adopt has had trouble conceiving a child. My husband and I do not have any fertilty issues; we just sincerely want to help a child in need. Will it hender our adoption process if we do not necessarily want a biological child? It's not that we don't want a biological child, but we would prefer to adopt. Please advise if this would be a problem.

Re: Advice....I'm New!

  • No I don't think that it would be a problem. Maybe some others will be able to answer you better. I believe that there are people here who have no known fertility problems.
  • My husband and I are adopting without having TTC.  There are a few of us around on the board.

    In general, no, it shouldn't hinder your process that you simply choose to adopt without trying for biological children.  This is even less likely to be an issue if you choose to adopt domestically.

    That being said, if you choose to adopt internationally, you might encounter some bumps in the road, depending on the country you choose to adopt from.  Every country has its own rules and laws governing who they allow to adopt.  Some require the parents to have TTTC.  Some require that there are no other children in the home.  And some, as we encountered, do not have a rule about fertility, but are a little gun shy around applicants who have not TTC.

    We are adopting from Peru, and the government there requested we get a report from our psychologist explaining our "problems trying to conceive" (even though we fully explained we didn't TTC), reasons for wanting to adopt (also previously fully explained), and "phobias about biological children."  It was a costly and time-consuming addendum to our dossier, but we jumped through their hoops and were eventually approved to adopt.

    The way we understand it, Peruvians place such a high value on family that they just couldn't understand why someone would go through the hassle and expense to adopt a child if they could "just have one" biologically.  They also fear that applicants who wish to adopt without TTC are doing it out of a savior complex and will expect the child to be indebted to them.  There is nothing in their laws to prohibit families that they deem appropriate from adopting, even if they have never TTC, though, and we eventually proved ourselves to be acceptable.

    Please don't let my story deter you.  There are many countries that don't hold similar views.  I just wanted to share our situation, because we were completely blindsided and hurt by the further inquiries.

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  • We adopted without fertility problems. ?It was always something I had wanted to do, and I was worried if we didn't do it first, we never would. ?We adopted a 2.5 year old boy from Russia in 2007. ?We then had a bio baby last November. ?We hope to adopt again someday depending where IA goes in the next few years. ?


    We had no issues with our agency, the only questions we got were from those in Russia, who could not imagine why we would adopt without fertility issues. ?However, orphans in Russia are not viewed very highly at all. ?

    We had a great experience. ?Let me know if you have any other questions.?


  • Thank you for your insight, it eases my mind to a point. I had read in some countries that you must have fertility issues and was worried we wouldn't be able to adopt. My research will continue. I really appreciate your kindness.
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