I'm not close to my family and that makes me sad

rynhales

I get so sad when I see people hanging out with their mom's and going to their parents just for dinner or whatever. Neither of my parents will be here for Ella's birthday and I don't know how many birthdays they will ever be at. My mom lives in Fl, my dad in WA.  I am soooooo close to my gram(more so than my mom) and I know that my kids will never know their grandparents like that and it makes me sad for them. All I can do is be a better parent and hopefully make my own big close family. I pray for that anyway.  That is all....I am just feeling sad about that today.

tmp-354536812503300

I feel you. I live in MD, my parents and sister live in TX. My Mom and I are the best of friends and my sister and I have become really close over the past few years especially since we now have babies only 4.5 months apart. We grew up far away from all of our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents and I get so sad that DS is going thru the same situation. DH's family is here and that's nice but I wish DS would be close to my family. It would have also been nice to go thru my PG w/ my Mom and sister around and to do things like go shopping together on the weekends, hang out together when DH is having a boys night, or just drop by when I have extra time or for Sunday dinner.

I've also toyed with the idea of making my own big family and dreaming of how when my kids are all grown, they would all come home for the holidays with their kids and we'd have all of these people in the house celebrating together. Then I realize I'd have to raise all of those dream kids and change my mind right back. LOL!

Crazycrustacean

You're not alone. I don't speak to anyone in my family (and it's HUGE) and it saddens me everyday to know that my kids won't feel the love & closeness from my family that others kids get. She'll get it from dh's family though. 

And you're right. The only thing you can do is make sure you're a better parent. She'll know you love her & that's all that matters. Now give that baby a squeeze & tell her how much you love her.  

akiernan

I feel the same way. 

Except my parents only live 30 minutes away, and they make no attempt to see Thomas.  Yet they have the nerve to complain to anyone who will listen that I am distancing myself from them because I refuse to bring the baby up to see them all weekend every weekend. 

I can't freaking win.

Lucky_Dragonfly

I know what you mean...I have never had a good relationship  with my mom and right now i am not speaking to her because of somethings she said to me. I really envy those poeple that have the type of relationship I have longed formy whole life. I never knew my dad and I don;t know his family eitehr. I do talk to my half sister from him but she is in MI and we haven;t actually seen each other in almost 15yrs. My two aunts have kind of become my surogate moms but its not the same as having your own. Plus 90% of my family is OOS. I am just dreading the day that DS asks me where my mom is since she's only seen him the day after he was born and at a cousin's HS grad party but barely even looked at him. She's never even held him. She lives 20mins from me.

MH's family is local, but I still want DS to know my family as well. I know that is one of the reasons that I put alot of family pictures out so he can see them.

kelbrian

I hear you. I miss my family so much. My mom can't afford to come down and visit very often, and my sister is so very freaked out by the city - she lives in northern Wisconsin, along with the rest of my immediate family. I started crying the other day and just kept crying for an hour because I miss them so much. It makes me sad that Liliana knows one of my friends better than she knows her own grandmother. I ideally would love to live within close driving distance, because that is what I knew for so long, but I know that it's just not feasible. 

DH's family, however, is not just close at all in terms of miles and in terms of emotional. His parents live in NY, his sister is in HI, and his brother is in CA. Liliana has not even met her aunt or uncle. His parents do make an effort to come and see her, though.   

Stacyc625

I feel ya too.

I have never had a great relationship with my parents even though i have tried throughout my entire life. It has just been a rough road. I am not a super emotional person- but just like what you said- it hurts and makes you sad.

hang in there. just know- you never know what tomorrow holds. Things are slowly getting better with my parents. try to keep an open door if possible because strange things can happen and surprise you.

if it is just an issue of distance- there are other things you can do to help close the gap. writing letters, email, simply reaching out, maybe skype to they can see your DD- possibilities are endless.

alheystek

I know how you feel! My parents just got divorced, and my dad moved back to MI, but my mom stayed in AZ. I might talk to her once a week, if I'm lucky. Due to their divorce, DS will never get to know his Grandma because she won't come here. She is afraid of what people might say about her if she comes back to visit.

JessMil10

Right there with you.