S/O MIL not seeing grandchildren

Mysterious_wife

I have noticed on here there are a lot of ILs that have no involvement.  My MIL seen Allie once at the hospital and then again at 3ish months which was around a holiday.  She would make excuses to not come around and there is no way we would take A to her. (for good reasons, not to be a b!tch) She sees Allie about once every 2 or 3 months and most of the time it is forced on her.  She doesn't do much for Allie either.

Are there any of YOUR parents who have little to no involvment?  My mother/SD, father, and brothers see Allie at least 3 or more times a week. 

ETA:the nest cut me off.

mmk3742

I have a feeling it will be like this for my kids.  So far in living in our new house that is like 35-40 minutes away my in laws have only made it up here twice.  And one of those times was to pick up dh's brother who had to stay with us for the weekend.

But maybe it will be different once we actually have said phantom kids.  But I kinda doubt it.

Dr.BeepersWife

No, my parents have been begging for a granchild (even before we were married.)  My mom has even started getting a nursery ready for her house.  I am lucky that they are so supportive and happy for us.  My IL's are also very happy and are already grandparents so I know what to expect from them.

giaM28

my mom and ILs will be very involved- but in a good way. My MIL said that once i get KU shes going to retire and watch DC if i need to go back to work or help me with baby while i recover

MaxOrTori

My dad will have little to do with Tori as mentioned in Ohzys post 

armandos_girl

I think it depends on your family and intention.  For example, my mom and dad will see Gabe about every 3 months, but that is because they live 5 hours away.  We talk on the phone about once every week or week and half.  But I wouldn't consider them uninvolved.  If they lived closer, they would want to see him way more often.

buckin

My ILs will try to be as active as possible but they live 5 hours from me. So they will probably be once a monthers.

My parents who live 45 minutes from me will be active in the beginning and then slack off because they are so consumed with my sister and her children they don't have time to make the trip. Sigh. I already know this so I don't expect anymore than that.

This is DH and me anyway. It's OUR little family so I don't expect help nor do I really want it. My aunt will probably be a substitute grandma and be very active and she's only 10 minutes away. I'm counting on her as my saving grace for emergencies and she has ALWAYS been there for me when I needed her.

Mysterious_wife

armandos_girl:

I think it depends on your family and intention.  For example, my mom and dad will see Gabe about every 3 months, but that is because they live 5 hours away.  We talk on the phone about once every week or week and half.  But I wouldn't consider them uninvolved.  If they lived closer, they would want to see him way more often.

My FIL is the same.  He lives 12-14 hours away, but sees Allie as much as possible (about 4 times a year) and calls us once a week.  He also sends random cards to her.  He sent her a card for the 4th of July for the past two years!

Mysterious_wife

buckin:

My ILs will try to be as active as possible but they live 5 hours from me. So they will probably be once a monthers.

My parents who live 45 minutes from me will be active in the beginning and then slack off because they are so consumed with my sister and her children they don't have time to make the trip. Sigh. I already know this so I don't expect anymore than that.

This is DH and me anyway. It's OUR little family so I don't expect help nor do I really want it. My aunt will probably be a substitute grandma and be very active and she's only 10 minutes away. I'm counting on her as my saving grace for emergencies and she has ALWAYS been there for me when I needed her.

I agree with this and my parents are super involved.

two-pink-shoes

My mama told me last night she's moving here. 

She'll be involved.  If they don't move they will have hospital bags packed so they're ready to jump in the car and make the 6 hour trek the moment I go into labor.  My parents rock.

oh-zysbaby

My mother was very involved with R, she saw her every day for a long time and took care of her a lot because I was a single mom for a lot of her life. She would be that way with L if I would let her - but she's kind of emotionally broken now and has a lot of health issues so I won't be leaving him with her. She also doesn't have a car, so she can't get to us, but she would if she could (and I would let her).

My ILs actually are really good with R, I think she is just really insecure about babies. She's convinced she was a terrible mother to DH (he turned out pretty damn good, so I don't think she screwed up that badly). I am not sure what is keeping her from wanting to see him - she only lives 15-20 minutes away from us. 

mrsmacias2008

My mom watches my sisters kids but her in-laws are hardly around. I think it will be the same with mine. MIL and her bf would rather be at the bar and FIL and his wife live too far away. Although FIL does always want to see the kids.

mom2binKC

My IL's have indicated pretty much zero interest.  They refuse to come visit (they live 1000 miles away), forcing us to make the trip (first with DD when she was 3 months, then when she was 2 years, and I guess with both kids if we ever want them to see their grandparents).  It's expensive for us, inconvenient (taking vacation time, traveling with infant/toddler), flying, renting a car, staying away from home with kids, etc.  But, even though they are both retired, they won't come.

They don't even really ask about DD or the baby on the way.  They send DD a check on her birthday and Christmas, and that's pretty much the extent of their involvement.  I even started a blog when DD was a baby, in large part so that my IL's could keep up with pictures, videos, and stories, but they never read it, saying they are "too busy."

My parents live nearby, and we see them all the time, but they make it clear that they can not be imposed upon to babysit too often.  My mom kind of always makes a big deal out of watching DD, so I'm pretty sure she'll be out once we have two kids.  But they enjoy spending time with her, and she is close with them.   Most of my friends' parents routinely babysit their grandkids, even watch them multiple days a week in lieu of daycare.  Some have whole rooms in their homes devoted to the kids, as a nursery or playroom.  My parents just arent' like that, I guess, which kind of suprises me.  You don't always get doting grandparents, like you think you might! 

ValentineBB

We don't have any kids yet, but I know I will have to beat my in-laws off with a stick once they do!  My MIL & FIL adore kids and can't wait for us to have them.

peteysweetie

No both of our parents are within a 30 minute drive with the IL's only 5 minutes away and they are all excited to be grandparents. My mom will actually watch my child at least 3 times a week as she doeschildcare already.