I have to say this and get it off my chest

SapphyrEyes

I am really peeved at the moms that tell other moms they are overfeeding their young ebf babies.  It bothers me beyond belief and I just feel bad for the moms that are the ebfers who are wondering if they're doing the wrong thing.  It literally makes me angry and breaks my heart they are questioning themselves.  I may get flamed and while I care because I don't want hurt feelings anywhere at the same time I don't care because the questioning just shouldn't happen.

And for the formula moms I do my best not to judge.  I understand for the most part the needs that come from it.  But, if you are one that tells an ebf mom she's spending too much time nursing, please stop.  It's not helping an already fragile persons ego and instincts.

Okay, off soap box.  And I apologize for any offense that may be taken.  It's not my intention.  Just a peeve I had to get off my chest.

Lady Galadriel

I went to a sleep training class and the teacher said to only feed every 3 to 3,5 hrs.. Umm I feed dd when she is hungry TYVM

alchris

I haven't seen this at all, but as somebody whose daughter was a SLOW SLOW nurser, this would have really bothered me.  DD went from not latching at all to nursing ALL day long at 7 weeks old (2 hours on each side back and forth, no naps) and I couldn't have been prouder that she was finally nursing.  She is still tiny for her age but she's always eaten a ton, and it just used to take her forever.  I'm so grateful to be out of that phase as it was exhausting and painful, but I'm even more grateful that we went through it together and are still nursing strong at nearly 22 months.  Again, I didn't see anything that caused the OP so I'm not disagreeing with anyone else -- indeed I'm used to hearing that EBFed babies are underfed, not overfed -- but I just wanted to agree with the sentiments here.

SapphyrEyes

I fed DS everytime he was hungry.  I can't let him go without.  If he wants to nurse there's a reason.

 

And let me also add that no, the formula feeders shouldn't be judged harshly either.  They are also doing what they feel is best.  So, I do understand it goes both ways.  But, I'm coming at this from the standpoint of an ebfer because that's what I've done.

alchris

Lady Galadriel:

I went to a sleep training class and the teacher said to only feed every 3 to 3,5 hrs.. Umm I feed dd when she is hungry TYVM

OMG!  DD began by nursing 2 hours on each side back and forth all day, and *decreased* to nursing every 45 minutes (i.e. beginning every 45 minutes, lasting about 30 minutes each, then switching sides).  If we had taken more than a 30 minute break max during the day, she would have starved!  (Obviously it's drastically different now, but that lasted for most of her first year.)  I CANNOT IMAGINE.

SapphyrEyes

alchris, I've seen a couple posts here and there where a mom is questioning bfing too much.  One most recently where another mom was saying too much time was spent nursing to an ebfer (this is what I got from the post).  I went through this in my personal life where I had to fight for my reasoning behind bf and I will fight again just as hard with DD when she arrives.  I refuse for someone to tell me that I'm spending too much time nursing or til too old of an age (past 6 mos. to 1 year).  DS is still going strong at 22 months and happy.  He will wean when he's ready and I think that will probably be in the next year based off his behavior.  We had issues in the beginning with latch and I'm so glad that we struggled on and are where we are.

proudarmywife08

I completely agree with you. I say feed your baby when their hungry don't try to dictate a feeding schedule until they're eating solids and nearly a year old. And for pete's sake if a ebf baby is hungry why would you deny them nutrition? Or a formula fed baby for that matter. I don't get feeding schedules for young babies at all.

alchris

SapphyrEyes:

alchris, I've seen a couple posts here and there where a mom is questioning bfing too much.  One most recently where another mom was saying too much time was spent nursing to an ebfer (this is what I got from the post).  I went through this in my personal life where I had to fight for my reasoning behind bf and I will fight again just as hard with DD when she arrives.  I refuse for someone to tell me that I'm spending too much time nursing or til too old of an age (past 6 mos. to 1 year).  DS is still going strong at 22 months and happy.  He will wean when he's ready and I think that will probably be in the next year based off his behavior.  We had issues in the beginning with latch and I'm so glad that we struggled on and are where we are.

It sounds like we have very similar stories.  I agree with you WHOLEHEARTEDLY, and CONGRATULATIONS on your awesome nursing "career"!   It boils down to the fact that all babies and all mamas are different, and everyone has to do what works in their *individual* situation.  Maybe some moms wouldn't or can't give that much time to it, but that doesn't give them a right to question those who refuse to quit or let up.

As far as duration of nursing, I like to refer people to this link.  I've dealt with that from family quite a bit, and nobody has questioned me a second time after reading this, esp. during flu season!!!

aspade

I completely agree.  EBF means feeding on demand, period, and babies go through periods of cluster feeding, etc., and they know exactly how much they need.  It's a biological miracle.

We actually switched pedis early on b/c our original pedi was wanting us to be on a schedule with a one month old baby.  Um, no.

SapphyrEyes

alchris:

SapphyrEyes:

alchris, I've seen a couple posts here and there where a mom is questioning bfing too much.  One most recently where another mom was saying too much time was spent nursing to an ebfer (this is what I got from the post).  I went through this in my personal life where I had to fight for my reasoning behind bf and I will fight again just as hard with DD when she arrives.  I refuse for someone to tell me that I'm spending too much time nursing or til too old of an age (past 6 mos. to 1 year).  DS is still going strong at 22 months and happy.  He will wean when he's ready and I think that will probably be in the next year based off his behavior.  We had issues in the beginning with latch and I'm so glad that we struggled on and are where we are.

It sounds like we have very similar stories.  I agree with you WHOLEHEARTEDLY, and CONGRATULATIONS on your awesome nursing "career"!   It boils down to the fact that all babies and all mamas are different, and everyone has to do what works in their *individual* situation.  Maybe some moms wouldn't or can't give that much time to it, but that doesn't give them a right to question those who refuse to quit or let up.

As far as duration of nursing, I like to refer people to this link.  I've dealt with that from family quite a bit, and nobody has questioned me a second time after reading this, esp. during flu season!!!

I've read this link many times and love it.  Whenever we get colds in the family I get it the worst meaning they last 2-3 weeks, DH lasts7-10 days, DS 3 days max if it's bad.  I attribute that 110% to nursing him on demand.  I still nurse him most days when he requests it, because chances are right now he wants a snack that food won't satisfy or a constant this summer has been teething pain from his last molars.  And with the past couple days a fever from whatever is going around.  When he was at the hospital last week he got an IV lock in case they needed to give him meds (thankfully they didn't, they said the synovitis would go away on it's own) I nursed him afterwards.  I don't remember the last time that he settled in so quick to nurse from pain and fear.  Heartbreaking, but I'm glad I'm able to do it and that I have been able to devote this time to him.

Joes_love

i agree wholeheartedly.  i hated it when my mom would say i fed him too often.  and i got so tired of hearing "why don't you just give him a bottle?"

we're still nursing...though i'm not 100% happy about it.  today, i told him it was all gone.  he didn't buy it for a minute, but i tried.  i just get frustrated when he decides to nurse for 5 mins, go play, come back, go play, come back...and of course he only does it on the days i wear a dress and a regular bra making it a PITA to nurse.

HikerBride07

GladToBeMrs.SRS

FF moms have the same crap said to them about feeding.  It isn't just exclusive to those that can or choose to nurse. 

"You're feeding him too much!  Look how fat he is! What a chunker -- why didn't you nurse him?"

"You're not feeding her enough!  Look how skinny she is!  Fatten that little girl up -- she needs to grow!"  

For the FF moms who desperately wanted to nurse, but couldn't, comments like these are even more hurtful because the mom already feel like a complete and utter failure at the most basic level humanly possible.  

So, while you are doing your best not to judge, perhaps bear in mind that the FF mom you're not judging is quite possibly even more fragile than the average EBF mom.  

jackie373

GladToBeMrs.SRS:

FF moms have the same crap said to them about feeding.  It isn't just exclusive to those that can or choose to nurse. 

"You're feeding him too much!  Look how fat he is! What a chunker -- why didn't you nurse him?"

"You're not feeding her enough!  Look how skinny she is!  Fatten that little girl up -- she needs to grow!"  

For the FF moms who desperately wanted to nurse, but couldn't, comments like these are even more hurtful because the mom already feel like a complete and utter failure at the most basic level humanly possible.  

So, while you are doing your best not to judge, perhaps bear in mind that the FF mom you're not judging is quite possibly even more fragile than the average EBF mom.  

 I agree with this 100%!  Well said.

SapphyrEyes

GladToBeMrs.SRS:

FF moms have the same crap said to them about feeding.  It isn't just exclusive to those that can or choose to nurse. 

"You're feeding him too much!  Look how fat he is! What a chunker -- why didn't you nurse him?"

"You're not feeding her enough!  Look how skinny she is!  Fatten that little girl up -- she needs to grow!"  

For the FF moms who desperately wanted to nurse, but couldn't, comments like these are even more hurtful because the mom already feel like a complete and utter failure at the most basic level humanly possible.  

So, while you are doing your best not to judge, perhaps bear in mind that the FF mom you're not judging is quite possibly even more fragile than the average EBF mom.  

Glad, I did later say that formula feeding moms shouldn't be judged either because they are doing what's best for them.  I just honestly think it does suck that on both sides of the spectrum we're made to feel bad for doing right by our children.  And like I said I can only come at this from the EBF side because that's all I've ever known.  But, I can see how getting told that a child is chunky all the time can be aggravating and frustrating.  Again I wasn't trying to be offensive and apologize again if there was offense.  I just want moms to do what they feel is best for themselves and their young children.  I just wish that the people that were closest to us were more supportive of decisions. 

jennterrell

let's just make this a general statement that people should keep their comments about what/how/when people feed babies to themselves.

i still get a ton of flack and eye rolling from my family because DS nurses so frequently. He is just a busy little guy, and I think he burns through the calories...

when he was tiny and we were struggling with colic and reflux, everyone i met wanted to tell me that he was fussy because he was hungry, and i really should be giving him a bottle with formula and cereal. (including my DH a few times!!! this was sooooo hurtful). I actually stopped talking to a good friend to sent me a rambling email about how i needed to do this for my baby. When of course, formula was the LAST thing that would have helped his reflux...