My heart is breaking....need advice(long)

superisa00

I posted several weeks ago about friends of mine who were thinking about getting divorced. Things have since gotten extremely ugly. He found out today that while for the past 3 months they were going to counseling and supposedly working on their relationship she has had a separate cell phone and has been seeing not one, but two men. This is from her mouth. I am friends with both of them, but he is really hurting right now and talking crazy, "I have nothing to live for" "Why keep going" and things of this nature. I sent my DH to be with him tonight because he was scaring me with his behavior this afternoon when I talked to him.

I guess I just don't know what to do. I am worried and hurting for him and don't know what to do or say. I also don't want to "choose sides" for the sake of my friendships, but then again I don't know if I can be friends with someone who could do this to her husband. I can understand not being happy and wanting out of a marriage, but cheating and lying are in a whole other category. I need advice from anyone who has gone through this and has some insight. What is he needing right now? Should I call or wait for him to call me? I guess I just don't know what he needs. How should I react if SHE calls me? My instinct is to kick her ass, but clearly that does not help things. TIA

Califragilistic

I agree, i dont think I could be her friend either. Thats not the type of person you want as a friend--shes clearly not trust worthy or honest. You are very sweet for wanting to help him and DH is very nice for taking care of him tonight. I would say spend as much time with him as you can bc I know ,from being there for friends going through break ups, that being alone makes you want the person back more. Even if you are just inviting him to go grocery shopping or to watch tv-its better than him sitting at home feeling sorry for himself and being lonely. If she calls, avoid it if you can-if you cant I would prob be totally passive agressive and give short answers and get off asap. If you can be more brutally honest with her-DO IT

superisa00

newmommymay08:

I am sorry.... I have no advice, I hope he gets some help if he is talking like that.

He has an appt. with a counselor tomorrow thank goodness.