TTCing and the 2ww stink

cintim

I feel like I'm on such an emotional roller coaster. I know it's only been 3 months of actively TTC but those bfn's really suck and I'm scared to death to test and see another one. I am so tired of analyzing every symptom and I HATE that PMS and PG symptoms are so similar. I know there are many great ladies on this board who have been trying for so much longer than me and I know I shouldn't complain. I am just not understaning how my body worked during my first pregnancy and is now not working. I haven't tested yet (I'm not due to until next week) but I just know AF is coming. Sorry for the vent and I hope I am not offending anyone. I'm just frustrated at myself for waiting so long to TTC after my loss. I feel like I'm too old now and that it's not gonna happen and I won't be able to give DD the sibling she's been begging me for since last year.

OK, vent over. Thanks for listening.

mrs_b_2007

so sorry you are feeling this way. *hugs*

I totally understand the frustration with the 2ww. You are not offending me. It's maddening during that time-  watching every symptom - waiting, ugh. 

My only advice is to try & distract yourself as much as possible. Last month I was so obsessed with my chart, symptoms, etc. - This month I am totally just taking a break from obsessing & seeing how it goes. Of course, that's much easier said than done. 

Hope you feel better soon!

bebeblues

I'm right there w/you. I've been actively ttc since June, so this is cycle #4. ....but we stopped tta back in April. I'm sooooo tired of the bfns. I'm angry that we waited so long too. I didn't want more than 3-3 1/2 yrs between my kids, and there's already going to be atleast 3 yrs.Don't get me wrong, I'm very blessed to have dd, but I really didn't want her to be an only child. I know what you mean. But you don't know what will happen ahead of time.

Mrs0815

That's a song as old as time-sadly, it doesn't get better.(I'm Debbie Downer today)

cintim

Mr.b., thanks for your kind words. I've stopped temping, well at least stopped entering the temps on FF. I am trying so hard to distract myself but I can't seem to stop obsessing. Work's been painfully slow so I spend my time surfing the net.

bebe, we stopped TTA over a year ago! I just can't believe I haven't gotten PG again since then, especially since it was so easy prior to the loss. I know what you mean... it's not that I;m not over the moon about DD, I just feel my family's not complete. We wanted 3 kids originally but settled on 2 since time was just not on our side. When I got pg with my angel baby we were so excited b/c the kids would be 3 years apart which is exactly how we wanted. I'm not sure why we waited so long to try again and though I can't change it, I can't help being so mad at myself.

Mrs0815, I hear ya on being debbie downer. The morning started off bad when my BFF (who's on round 2 of IUI) just tested and got a BFN.

Thanks ladies for listening.

babygirlpriest

I kinda understand where you're coming from regarding waiting too long.

I don't have any other kids so the age gap isn't an issue. But I'm 30-freakin-4 years-old. Every cycle I worried more and more that the baby train may have passed me by. I thought I dodged the bullet when I was pg with twins, but after the m/c I feel more behind schedule than ever.

Hope your luck turns around soon.

cintim

babygirlpriest:

I kinda understand where you're coming from regarding waiting too long.

I don't have any other kids so the age gap isn't an issue. But I'm 30-freakin-4 years-old. Every cycle I worried more and more that the baby train may have passed me by. I thought I dodged the bullet when I was pg with twins, but after the m/c I feel more behind schedule than ever.

Hope your luck turns around soon.

Me too! I'll be 35 in March... uh, that's in 6 months! I feel like my body just won't work anymore. Thanks for your reply. I hope your luck turns around soon too.