My natural birth (w/ complications) longest birth story EVER!
Manderlin923
member
Almost 2 weeks later, I'm posting my birth story and warning: it is long and crazy...
The day before my EDD I began having lower back pain and period-like cramps (I also must tell you I hadn't had any internals so didn't know of my "progress" but I didn't have any bloody show, no mucus plug lost and my water didn't break) I wasn't sure if this was "it" but I took an hour nap and then went for a long walk. That evening, my contractions began and felt like sharp pains in my lower abdomen. They became regular at 8:15 pm at 6 minutes apart while I was taking another walk outside. Then when I went back inside they slowed down. I was so frusterated. DH was timing them on contraction master and they were anywhere from 3 to 8 minutes apart then. I took a warm bath and drank a glass of wine and DH went to bed. I woke him up an hour later because the pains were coming more consistently at about 7 minutes apart and becoming painful enough for me to breathe through them. I decided to take another bath and let DH go back to sleep for as long as I could let him, I couldn't sleep at all (I tried) but I wanted him to have as much energy to help me birth as possible. I called Jill at 1 am and she said to head to the birth center (we live an hour away). I woke DH up and he packed his bag (finally!) and I felt so excited and energetic at that point. The car ride was very uncomfortable. Every bump made the pain worse. At that point the pains were 3-4 minutes apart and getting worse.
We got to the birth center a little after 2 am on my due date and got settled in our beautiful room. Jill asked us some questions and DH helped me through contractions by pressing on my back. I was having back labor which was not fun. I asked Jill if I could get in the tub or shower because I really wanted to labor in water and she said we should wait till I was 4 or 5 cm in case it slowed things down but if I really wanted to I could. I decided to labor for a bit before she checked me as I was really not looking forward to internals. At about 3 am Jill checked me and I was 3 cm and 100% effaced. I was dissapointed that I wasn't further along and beginning to worry about how long I might be in labor. I got in the shower anyway and it felt incredible. I don't know how long I was in there but I got in again at 4 am and my contractions were getting really painful. I had the shower head hitting my lower back and I was bracing my forehead against the wall. I got in the tub about 20 minutes later and the warm water felt incredible but I thought the contractions weren't as manageable as in the shower.
Jill checked me again at 5 and I was nearly 7 cm. I remember saying (with absolute stubbornness) "Baby is GOING to be here by 7am." I got back in the shower and then Pam came, a back-up midwife. Jill hadn't slept in three days and she wanted another midwife, not an assistant there with her. I didn't like her at first and she was a complete stranger but throughout my labor she did help me. I don't know what point I began to say "I can't do it" but I definitely did say that and she kept telling me to breathe through each contraction. They would build up like waves and just when I thought I couldn't take the pain anymore there would be maybe another wave and then it would go back down. It really helped to have counterpressure on my lower back though. The spaces between contractions I sort of became delirious I think and time sort of slowed down. I remember it getting lighter out (even though the curtains were shut I could tell it was morning) and becoming desperate. I was saying "Oh God" a lot while contracting and I began to cry. I just wanted to give up and I told DH that we had to go, we had to go, I couldn't do it. He held my hand so tight and rubbed my back and just kept telling me I was doing such a good job. I remember thinking he was being irritating and I thought, "What do you know?" Also Pam and Jill kept telling me I was doing amazingly and I kept saying no, I wasn't and I didn't care. I think it was nearing transition at that point. The next time Jill checked me she said my waters were bulging and she could break them and it might speed things up. I was worried it would be more painful but I just wanted the baby to come already!
When she broke my water (at 8:15- 12 hours after my first regular contractions began) I felt like i had peed myself. It was a very warm, wet feeling but relieving. It was an hour and 15 minutes after that that I began to feel the urge to push. I tried pushing on the squatting stool but I felt like my hemmoroids were going to burst- I believe my exact words were my yelling, "My a$$ is going to explode!" and Jill wanted me to take the pressure off my perenium. I got on all fours on the bed, holding onto the headboard and facing the window. I began to scream and moan through each push. I can't really describe it except to say that imagine pushing a watermelon out of your vagina and a cantelope out of your butt. That's exactly what it felt like to me. It felt impossible and though I felt pressure while pushing I still felt a TON of pain, like being cut in half and I was crying that I couldn't do it. At some point I laid down on my side and DH held one leg up, Pam held my hand and Jill supported my perenium and stayed in the general groin region.
I kept pushing and groaning, making almost animal like sounds and Jill said I could feel the head. I did and it felt squishy. I looked in the mirror and I saw a lemon wedge size bit of head peeking out- with dark hair. I was worried that his head was squishy but Jill said it was okay. Everytime I pushed I thought for sure this would be the time the head would come but when it didn't I got so discouraged. Jill kept telling me I was doing great and DH kept saying it was getting closer each time. As I pushed I felt like someone was taking a razor and ripping my crotch open. I screamed that it was burning and Jill kept touching me (I think she was putting oil on me or something?) and I thought I was going to die. I didn't even care at that point. Eventually I got his head out and then I expected to push once and have everything else slide on out- the way it looks in the videos- but I had quite a few more pushes before he came out. When he did it felt slippery wet and a huge feeling of relief came over me. DH and I had a moment where we looked at each other and I will never forget that. I heard the baby crying and I cried. They rubbed him for a second and then laid him on my belly. I cried and said that he had huge hands! He was so tiny and REAL was all I could think. He nursed for a few minutes on each breast and Jill checked him over while I held him. He wouldn't really stop crying though. They weighed him and he was 9 and a half freaking pounds!!! I couldn't believe that I had pushed him out of me.
Our baby, Bram Kennedy, was born at 10:32 on his due date in the natural birth I had so wanted. Things were far from over however. Bram wouldn't stop crying and so DH walked around with him while I delivered the placenta (what an icky gooey feeling). After that Jill became a little concerned because my uterus wasn't clamping down and it was way to the right side of my stomach. My bladder was in the way and she kept pushing on my belly to get the pee to come out since I couldn't go on my own (though I did pee during labor). I was also bleeding a bit and Jill couldn't see enough to repair my tears. I was given pitocin to help my uterus contract and she also gave me a catheter which was really painful and burned and I peed out 2 quarts of urine! She started shooting some pains meds into my vag to stitch me up and I could barely stand her touching me because besides the two 2 degree tears (one on my perenium) I also had a hemotoma. She tried to stitch me but I was in too much pain and it was hard with me bleeding. She gave me some cytotech and my uterus began to contract but then it would get "boggy" again and I was getting lightheaded whenever I'd try to sit up. At that point they gave me more pitocin and then they told me that Bram was breathing a little bit fast. They said it could be transient something (?) and it was common in newborns and should even out within the hour. When it didn't and my uterus was still really soft and out of place, they suggested a transfer. Jill said it wasn't an emergency but she would feel more comfortable if we called an ambulance and got me some further help. I got really, really scared then, but entirely for Bram. I really didn't care about myself too much at that point. I was exhausted and scared and I was angry too that the natural birth I so wanted was quickly turning into a scary hospital event but I can tell you that all that mattered was my baby's safety so I was going to do whatever it took. The ambulance came (no lights or sirens) and got us settled.
When we got to the hospital a pediatritian came to check Bram and said he looked fine. It was awhile before I got checked out although I was given more pitocin. Finally they took me to another room and I got examined. Jill stayed and her and DH held my hands. I was given some drug that made me feel drunk and then wo nurses had to hold my legs down as the doctor checked me (she thought maybe I had torn my cervix) and she pressed down hard on my belly while she dug inside me. I was screaming and bawling and pushing back as hard as I could to get away from what felt like her entire arm inside of me. She attempted to do this several times as she said I had blood clots coming out. I couldn't take it anymore, the pain and exhaustion hitting me hard and I was seriously screaming at her to stop. I continued crying at that point and couldn't stop. The doctor told me I either had to let her do it or she reccommended I could go "under" and we'd do it in the operating room. She also still had to stitch me up and was concerned she may have to do a D & C to clean out my uterus. I was so ready to be done with the pain I agreed to the "surgery" and then cried some more. I was afraid I'd die and I was so angry that things had turned out that way. I was so upset that I wasn't getting time to bond with Bram although DH was incredible with him. I got wheeled in and put under and my last thoughts before I passed out were those of fear that I'd wake up while they were operating on me.
When I woke up I felt suffocated and began trying to take off my oxygen thingy. I told the nurses I couldn't breathe and I began to panic. I felt really cluastrophobic. This feeling lasted for at least an hour before I started to feel better. Back in my room I got to hold Bram and try to nurse. He wasnt too into nursing though and would just cry. That night he roomed in with me and DH and sometime in the night I woke up and he was gone and a nurse was waking me. She said she'd come to check on us and his breathing was rapid and they wanted to check him out. I was so upset. They said that they thought he might have an infection because one of his blood levels was a little high. They got him started on antibiotics right away and brought him to children's hopsital (which was a separate hospital but we could access it from our hospital since they were connected) and we could go visit him in the NICU whenever we wanted. The next few days were terrible. I got discharged from the hospital on Saturday morning (we'd gotten there Thursday afternoon) and Bram still had to stay there until Tuesday. He was hooked up to monitors and wires and iv's. I had to pump because he wouldn't breastfeed and they gave him formula which really upset me. I felt like I had failed and was really emotional. Dh was an amazing support. He kept me going and I don't know what I would have done without him there.
Bram had to be on 5 days of antiobiotics with numerous tests before he was released. In the end they said his breathing was fine and normal (which still confuses me because that's why he was admitted in the firsrt place) and his levels were back to normal. All I wanted to do was bring our baby home and when we finally got to I was so happy. We survived those 5 days in and out of the hospital. When I got discharged we stayed in a hotel (for 100 a night) but couldn't afford to do it another night. The hospital took pity on us and let us stay in an empty room in the pediatric unit for one night and our last night there we got to sleep in one of the family lounges of the NICU.
Recovery was hard, not just emotionally, but physically. Childbirth was a milliion times harder than I thought. I still can't believe I didn't get any drugs. I know if I had been in the hospital delivering I would have. I just can't believe it could be that painful and at this point I cna't believe anyone would do it more than once lol....(though I'm sure I will!) my whole entire body was so sore for several days. I couldn't stand up straight, my ankles were swollen to the size of tree trunks and my entire crotch and butt felt like they'd gone through a food processor. The first time pooping was no picnic lol but I got thorugh it okay with help from a laxative. And breastfeeding is HARD. He's finally latching on with a nipple shield but I still pump and I'm just glad he only had to have formula for a day or two. My point is, I guess, not to scare anyone lol, but to tell you that even with the nightmare and stress that we went through, I would do it all over again. No questions. I am so in love with my baby and he was worth every second of pain. Good luck to you all and just remember that life doesn't always go as planned ( I used to hate when people said that to me) but it is so true and the irony still gets me today. But like I said, all worth it!
Re: My natural birth (w/ complications) longest birth story EVER!
Congratulations! I'm glad you got to have your med free birth but I am also happy that you were able to get to a hospital so your life could be saved and doctors could monitor your lil man's breathing. All worked out in the end even if the trip getting there wasn't as pleasant as you had hoped.