Do you have a Will?

YAY! Baby K

DH and I are trying to figure out how to put together a will and we dont know who should be the primary care giver if god forbid something happened. How did you decide who is going to take LO if something happened?

2-Step

We love all of the grandparents and I'm sure all of them would do a great job, but we decided on my parents because they are still together. DH has a dad and wonderful step-mom, but they don't 100% share our values/beliefs and they also are taking in foster children at the moment, so they have their hands full. His mom is currently dating and, while she is an amazing person, we figured we don't know who she might be with in the future and if that person would want kids or if they would love LO as much as a grandparent who was related.

I'm happy with it because I couldn't imagine it any other way. DH's parents have shared secondary custody if my parents are unable to care for DS.

sunnflower03

We chose my brother and sister in law. We share the same values and know they would make sure our son will be provided for.

jamie.renee

We chose a friend.  My husband has known him for many many years and I have known him the same amount of time I have known my husband.  We are pretty similar in the way we parent etc.  We didn't chose his mom for many reasons.  At the time we did it, both my parents were alive and healthy (my dad has since passed away suddenly) but we didn't chose them because they raised their kids and as they get older you have no clue how they will be health wise etc.  I see from my husband's little sister how bad it can be for kids living with a parent that is not in great health.  My sister and I are totally different and I don't agree with many things she does with her kids.  My husband's sisters and brothers are either immature or just not the right choice for us.  I am very happy with the choice we made with his friend.  He has a great wife and kids so I know he would do a good job with our kids too.

jonsdeedee

My older sister and her husband.  We thought about my parents but my dad is retired and my mom almost retired so we did not want to burden them.  My younger sister and her husband are overwhelmed with their 2.  My in-laws are crazy and I won't even let them have her overnight (my husband agrees with this).  My older SIL lives in Washington State with her 2 kids and her husband is in the military so they will be moving around a lot and although that has its advantages, it would move my DD away from her family too much.  My younger SIL is single.  My BIL does not share our same beliefs (ultra religious and belongs to a semi-cult church).

 

grinsandgiggles

We don't have a will set-up yet, but we have already discussed who will get DS.

First, we don't want grandparents to have him.  We want someone we know has a more likely chance of being around for quite a while.

Next, his only sister is only 21 and is just starting her life out.  She should not have to base her life options based upon if something would happen to us.  If DS was given to her in the future that could really change opinion on how many kids she would have, etc.  Not to mention, we can't happily put her on paper yet.   She's 21, single, doesn't even have an okay paying job, and has no experience with even being around kids.  Not to mention she is still in that selfish mode and is one of those people who needs her time to run around and party.

My one sister is 33, is married, and has 2 kids (ages 7 and 4).  She had her tubes tied after the last, but they wish they hadn't.  They love DS and they have been great parents to their own, so we feel comfortable leaving him with them.  I know they would treat him as one of their own and no play favorites.  He would be welcome there.  They have the room for him at their house and both have nice paying jobs.

It was really a no-brainer for us. 

Just look at your family (or close friends).  Where do you think LO would be the most comfortable with in the future?  Don't necessarily think of who you are close to, but who LO can be close to.