mom's who nurse your LO to sleep...please help

baby'sbaby · September 2009

I have always nursed and rocked my LO to sleep and I don't want to stop, but we are having sleep issues. She usually naps in my arms after falling asleep nursing, sometimes I can get her to stay asleep and put her in her crib. I'm blessed to be a stay at home mom, and I love holding and rocking her, so its never been an issue. Generally she sleeps fine in her crib at night. She does get up 2-3 times, which our Dr said is normal for a BF baby. Recently she has been getting up every hour. From what I've read, you should let your LO fall asleep on their own. This just goes against all my motherly instincts. I want her to be able to self sooth, but I don't want her to have to cry/fuss herself to sleep. Has anyone found a balance?

MrsAmers · September 2009

My DD wasn't mature enough/ready to fall asleep on her own until she was 10.5 months old. When I tried putting her down "drowsy but awake" before that she would get so worked up and upset that it would take 30-40 minutes of holding her to calm her back down. Not worth it, IMO. And letting her cry went against my instincts, too. We never taught her to fall asleep on her own, we just tried to put her down awake every few weeks until she could do it, and she's been able to do it since.

Waking up every hour is probably just a phase she's going through. Could be teething, a developmental spurt, learning a new skill (sitting up, crawling, etc), or a growth spurt (there is one at 6 months). If this phase lasts more than 1-2 weeks and you really can't take the waking up anymore, then you can look into sleep training methods that don't involve crying (friends of mine had success with "No Cry Sleep Solution"). But with our DD, we just rolled with the punches, and when the disruption ended her sleep went back to the way it was before and gradually improved as she got older. We tended to cosleep during the disruptions in order to maximize the amount of sleep we got during those periods.

In my opinion, nursing and rocking your baby to sleep aren't the cause of sleep issues in a 5 month old. Here is my favorite resource whenever we deal with a tough patch of sleep:

https://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

Good luck!

little__bit · September 2009

baby'sbaby:
From what I've read, you should let your LO fall asleep on their own. This just goes against all my motherly instincts. I want her to be able to self sooth, but I don't want her to have to cry/fuss herself to sleep. Has anyone found a balance?

I nursed my son to sleep up until 7 months. About 3-4 weeks ago, he wasn't falling asleep on the breast anymore. He would be distracted by the room, or playing with my shirt, or something. I thought we were in trouble.

I started putting him in the crib, lights out, as soon as he pulled off the breast. I was happily surprised how easily he put himself to sleep. It didn't require any sleep training or interventions on our part. When he wakes to nurse, I can tell he's hungry (rather than just messing around). I guess my only advice is to continue following your instincts. Put her down when you're ready to.

Sally J · September 2009

Your LO will learn to fall asleep on their own when they are ready. If it feels like it's against your instincts, then it's probably because your LO isn't ready for this milestone. Do what feels right. The waking every hour is likely a stage that will pass in a week or two. It could be teething, separation anxiety, not feeling well, learning a new skill. The No-Cry Sleep Solution helped me to find a balance of teaching my childrent to self soothe, but still following my insticts.

My DS wasn't ready to self soothe or fall asleep on his own until closer to 11 months old. My DD was ready at 8 months old.

The attachment parenting board may also give you some good suggestions.

J Bean · September 2009

When DD was 9 months, I stopped nursing her to sleep. I let her nurse until she is almost asleep, though. Once she switches from drinking to flutter sucking, I put my pinky finger in her mouth to break suction, lay her in her crib, and pop a pacifier in her mouth. Sometimes her eyes are open and sometimes they're shut, but she falls more deeply asleep in her crib after a few minutes. Sometimes I rub her back or shush to soothe her. Ever since then she has been better about putting herself back to sleep and only really cries out if she is teething. I'm not sure if this would have worked for us before 9 months. I did get some tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution, too.

cateye · September 2009

I'd say it is probably just a stage. Like the pp said, sometimes they'll wake up more due to a growth spurt, environmental changes, teething, or milestone development. If you're a SAHM, try napping with your LO to catch up on lost sleep. Those periods never lasted more than a week or two for us.

And some babies are ready to fall asleep on their own sooner than others (and some parents are more willing to let their LO cry than others). The drowsy but awake thing NEVER worked for DD. She would just get hysterical no matter how awake/asleep she was. Some friends used it from the start and apparently the first three months or so were hell.

Anyway, DD started falling back to sleep on her own around 9 months and going to sleep by herself around 12 months, but she still prefers to nurse to sleep if she can. (If I'm not around, other people could pat her back or rock her to sleep starting around 5 months or so).

I hope that was what you were asking for. Good luck!!