My vent this morning is my DH. I turn 34 today and last week when it was his birthday (he turned 40) I told him Happy Birthday before I left for work. This morning? Yeah, I got nothing, not even a text on my way to work about Happy Birthday. I'm hoping I get to talk to my son this morning before he gets on the bus so he can sing me Happy Birthday but his bus comes in 30 minutes, I'm at work and I don't see that happening.
I feel really down today. I went to my son's 2nd grade orientation last night and his teacher is amazing. I don't know what's going on with my son though. He's smart, knows his work when I ask him about it. But he freezes on tests and I know that I am not equipped to prepare him to build that confidence about test taking to where he will excell. So now I need to look into Huntington or Kumon. Something so he can KNOW he can succeed and not be made fun of.
I feel like I'm failing my son. This truly sucks. We go over his work in the evenings, do the homework together, practice flashcards, do math games online and still he just freezes on a test. I'm not giving up on him but I know he needs more help than what I'm giving him.
Re: **Wednesday Flameless Vent** Any takers?
Awww...it sounds like you are doing a lot for your son. I taught 3rd grade for seven years, and I experienced many students who would freeze up on tests. I made sure I gave them unlimited time and gave them a lot of positive reinforcement. Is there maybe a way your son can go to maybe a first grade or K class and help younger students...that way he can practice his skills by helping others. He won't realize he's helping himself too.
Or maybe there is a place in the school where he may be more comfortable taking a test, or does he need like a stress ball or something to use during the test to calm his nerves. Or maybe chew gum or have a piece of candy
No flames here from me. I understand it can be difficult, I'm a nervous test taker myself.
I was a terrible test taker as well. If someone asked me to write out a paper explaining something, I could do it. But with math, I would just blank.
I started going to the school tutor to take tests. She would allow me to sit and take the test, but also be there to help calm me down, read the quetions to me, and encourage me. Being in a room alone, and feeling more relaxed really helped!
I only did it for a year of elementary school. I eventually got over my test anxiety. I'm still terrible with math, but at least I could get through the tests without freaking out.
Maybe it has something to do with the pressure of being timed. or having a room full of other students? ask the teacher about other testing options. maybe she can test him alone and see if he does better... if so, then you know it is an anxiety problem. at least it may help rule out some possibilities.
To the OP, I would say that you are only failing your son if you recognize he needs help and do nothing about it. You are doing great by acknowledging the fact that maybe you can't help him in this aspect and searching out someone who can will only make you (and him) better in the long run.
Happy Birthday! FWIW, I think that it's amazing that you are taking such a strong interest in your son's education. Being a teacher I see far too many parents who have no clue and don't care what is happening with their child at school.
My your DH just needs a gentle reminder that today is your birthday. He may have just forgotten. Could you have one of your mutual friends call him and gently remind him?
Since you asked for other flamefree confessions here is mine;
DH and I decided last night that he will be a part time SAHD with our LO. He is a firefighter and works 24 hour shifts with 48 hours off in between. I am glad that our LO will be at home with a parent, but I worry that he will not treat her the same way as I would.
My DH thinks that babies need to cry and that you shouldn't pick them up and coddle them right away. I agree with this to an extent, but I think when they are under 4 months that they should be picked up pretty quickly when they cry. It's only when they are older that they can begin to self soothe. I feel awful that I am afraid that my DH will not give our baby the level of care that I would expect from a day care provider. I also have no clue how to talk to DH about some of my fears without making him think that I think he will be a bad father (which I don't think he will be). UGH!
Happy happy birthday!!! It sounds to me like you are a great mom, give yourself a pat on the back
Happy Birthday!!!! My DH did the same thing on my last birthday.
As for my vent...
We put an offer on a house a few days ago. After some negotiating, they said they wanted to sleep on it. So all day yesterday, i'm waiting. Finally around noon, we hear that they're trying to scrounge up some money for closing (we asked that they split closing). They said we would know by 6pm. So about 5:30, our realtor calls us and she's PISSED. They weren't looking for money... they were waiting for another POSSIBLE offer from a couple who weren't sure they could get the money. They were willing to pay more, but couldn't secure the loan. We are already approved for the loan. So they want to wait it out and we just want our house. We don't want to get into a bidding war... so we're keeping our offer in and looking at more homes today.