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Am i in the wrong?

blackdollhouse66blackdollhouse66
in 2nd Trimester

My SIL wants to come up right after the babys born and my mom. I don't mind my mom that much because all she really wants to do is cook and clean so i or DH don't have to so DH and i can sleep when we have time. But i have a feeling my SIL wants to be there so she can hold the baby all the time and use her 18yold mother skills on our 1st baby and i want that. She had her chance to be the begininer mom and i want that to, but i feel like in a non verbal way that i won't know how to take care of the baby and what not. Am i crazy or would you feel the same??

They are both coming BTW and both might be there a Month, Mom's trying to be there for the Birth and the SIL wants to be there after.

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Re: Am i in the wrong?

  • Mrs.tlcSMrs.tlcS member

    is it possible your SIL just wants to come to see the baby and see how you're doing?

    She can't hold the baby and play "mother" if you don't let her.

    WIth what you've written here, I can't tell if you're out of line or not.

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  • Tinkx123xTinkx123x
    imageMrs.tlcS:

    is it possible your SIL just wants to come to see the baby and see how you're doing?

    She can't hold the baby and play "mother" if you don't let her.

    WIth what you've written here, I can't tell if you're out of line or not.

    yah you didn't say what is making you seem out of line. Are you not letting her come? and what do you mean "she had her chance?"

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  • getnmarried910getnmarried910 member
    Ask her to come at a later time.  I wouldn't want her (or anyone else) staying with me after the baby.  Tell her you want some time to adjust as a new family. 
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  • krissyh21krissyh21 member
    My sister is excited for my baby even though she already has children and would like to come see my baby when it is born. I think you are reading into the whole thing too much.
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  • ibisibis member
    It's absolutely your right to draw some boundaries around visiting when you have the baby. You are going to be incredibly tired, recovering from birth, and getting used to life with a newborn. Do not worry about being polite during that time, you're more likely to regret having too many visitors than being rude.
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  • amt1586amt1586 member

    How long does she wanna stay? I would have a problem with that, but I am very over-protective. Surely she doesn't want to "take care of the baby while you rest"?? My cousin said she would do that and I flat out told her no...my baby, I can take care of it; that's what mothers do....Good luck with this though!!

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  • blackdollhouse66blackdollhouse66
    imageebonis:

    How long is the SIL staying?  If it's just for a day, I wouldn't worry about it.

    It might be a month

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  • Jen&LouieJen&Louie member
    A month?!?!  There is no way I would want anyone in my house for a month, and especially if I thought that they would want to play Mommy to my newborn.  It's your home...set some boundaries. 
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  • tnpjuly04tnpjuly04 member

    Why would she stay for a month?  That sounds crazy.  I can't stand to vacation with my family for more than a week, let alone be home with a newborn.  I wouldn't have my mom stay with me for a month either, that's just me.

    If they live far and want to come see the baby, fine.  If you have PLENTY of space in your house, stay for a long weekend.  If not, book a hotel!

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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    If your SIL is trying to tell you how to do everything, just tell her to shut her trap.  Tell her exactly what you told us, she had her chance and now it's your turn.
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  • blackdollhouse66blackdollhouse66
    imagetnpjuly04:

    Why would she stay for a month?  That sounds crazy.  I can't stand to vacation with my family for more than a week, let alone be home with a newborn.  I wouldn't have my mom stay with me for a month either, that's just me.

    If they live far and want to come see the baby, fine.  If you have PLENTY of space in your house, stay for a long weekend.  If not, book a hotel!

    Yea one lives in delaware and the other in texas and we live in north dakota so it's a big trip for them to make.

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  • Kiki-licioius Kiki-licioius member

    Well what do you want? I can understand them saying so long b/c I was stationed in Minot while preggers with DD but I PCSd to Guam before I had her. When my family would visit (prepregnancy) they would stay extended periods of time and it was fine with me.

    If you decide to let them stay just let them know that you will not be needing them helping out with the baby and that they can help with the chores. Make sure you stress to them that if you need help you will ask.

    GL

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