1st Counseling appt - What to expect? — The Bump
Snarky and T-TTC

1st Counseling appt - What to expect?

I made my first counseling appt for this Friday.  I decided to go with someone affiliated with my church who specializes in "womens issues" instead of someone specializing in IF.

What should I expect from my 1st appointment?  Will it mostly be a get to know you kind of appt?  TIA

Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!

Re: 1st Counseling appt - What to expect?

  • I have no idea. I avoided going to a clinic that specialized in women's issues (but was affiiliated with my church) because I wanted someone who was board certified in gynecology at least and who had some IF experience.

    Let us know how it is.

    ETA: I read your post wrong. I didn't realize it was that type of counseling appt, I thought it was a medical appointment like seeing an RE. In that case, I have no experience but wish you the best of luck.

  • You'll just answer a lot of questions about your family history, health history, current relationship...   you'll probably walk away feeling like a giant weight has been lifted too. 
  • I met with a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in IF for the first time two weeks ago. I just told her my story and everything that was bothering me. It was like talking to a friend, and when I left I was like "hmmmm....what did I just do? I don't really feel any better."

    I told the social worker at my CF clinic about this, and she said the point is more to have someone to vent/talk to, rather then to get some sort advice that will help you deal with things. (I wonder if it's different if you see psychologist or psychiatrist.) She told me to give it a few more tries.

    I see the IF social worker again tomorrow, and I must admit that I am looking forward to the appointment.

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  • Give it at least 6 appointments.  I really appreciate having someone to vent to who may provide a different avenue of thinking than I would come up with.  I think it is good to have someone removed from your situation who can think rationally about a completely irrational thing you deal with when going through IF stuff.  That said, make sure they have some experience with it or you'll get the "don't stress" bullsh*t...
  • I had my first appt with a psychologist that specializes in IF a few weeks ago.  It started with a lot of "get to know you questions". And then we talked a little about why I was there, if DH knew I was there, where I find support, how DH and I communicate, etc.

    She actually sent me away with homework - I have to try to start a minimum of 2 "hot topic/uncomfortable"  conversations with DH. 

    I am looking forward to seeing how things progress with her.

    image image image
    Expectation is the root of all heartache ~William Shakespeare

    TTC since 1/08-- 2 IVF's (11/09 and 4/10)- total of 10 fert but no embryos for transfer :(

    Forced break after abdominal myomectomy

    Spring 2011 - IVF #3 - nothing for transfer

    Fall/Winter 2011 - IVF #4 - one lost twin between 7-9 weeks
    one beautiful little girl born 8/2012
  • I am seeing a counselor who specializes in IF. It's alot of talk therapy, but she also can dig out some deeper stuff about my family, as a historical perspective on how I learned to deal with things. She's also very, very encouraging.

  • Thanks for the advice & for sharing your experiences.  I definitely need someone to vent to who will be rational and give me some encouragement.

    I am a little nervous that because I am seeing someone specializing in "womens issues" and not IF that she might say all the typical wrong things, but I can at least give her a chance and then switch if necessary.  She also listed adoption as a specialty so maybe that background will help.

    I'll let you know how it goes!


    Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!
  • I myself am a social worker, and I went to see a social worker who specialized in IF/pregnancy loss.  I started going over the summer, actually a month before I got pregnant with the twins.  It gave me a lot of insight into my relationships with some of my family and really helped me to see that I was doing things to make lots of other people happy before myself.  It was nice to ahve someone to talk to and she did usually try to help me see situations or feelings I was having from a different perspective.  I found it really helpful.  Sometimes with counselors you might have to try a few before you find a great fit.  Good luck with everything.
  • Thanks, AlpacaBunny!
    Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!
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