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Parenting after 35
Who's done Ferbering or CIO?
How did it go? And when did you start?
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Re: Who's done Ferbering or CIO?
We haven't - well, my husband tries and I go rescue her. We aren't on the same page with this yet
I have read on the 0-6 board, and there were some really intense 'discussions' over the past few days, that it should be avoided before they are 3 months old. I have no idea if this is acurate or not since it is filtered through the interpretation of other people. Is there a book about this?
I am someone who did have to use CIO with my first. She was a very difficult baby who basically nursed 45 minutes of every other hour until she was over 6 months old. I tried everything else. When she was 9-10mos old I finally decided to CIO. I understand that Ferber is a graduated method of going in & comforting. I tried something like that with DD but she would get furious & more worked up if I went in, so I did straight, cold-turkey CIO & it still didn't happen quickly. It was not fun. In retrospect I'm glad I did it, however, she was also getting closer to a year old at that point.
That all being said, if anyone is thinking about using CIO before 6mos of age, definitely talk to your pedi. I noticed your baby is just a few weeks old. Totally not appropriate to even consider at this point in her life. I read somewhere that babies are 'held' by us 24/7 for 9 months so just the mere fact of them being born reduces the amount they are 'with' us greatly. Some babies are needier- need to be held more, nursed more/ longer, etc. It is exhausting as a parent but it is what it is. My 2nd DD was MUCH more easygoing & I never had to do CIO with her- it just progressed more easily & naturally.
Certainly sometimes you can't get right to your baby- you might be in the shower, tending to an older child, etc. The first few months though they should not be left to cry for any length of time. Even if you know they're not hungry, need a change, burp, etc. there are times that they just need to be comforted.
Please get the Ferber book and read it before considering this method or any type of CIO. It's highly discouraged, even by Dr. Ferber himself, to try any type of sleep training/CIO etc., before 6 months of age.
I did Ferber with my son at 6 months and it was the best thing we ever did, so I do recommend the method. But I can't imagine a pediatrician advising it before your child is old enough.
The book is called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber.
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BTW- I found this online :
www.familysleep.com
I'm glad you asked this, Mari. The baby nurse I had said to just let Aaron cry himself to sleep but my instinct (and pediatrician) says to pick him up when he cries (not fusses) more than a few minutes.
I think that, at 2 weeks, it's too early. But eventually I'll go that route.
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I agree with this statement, except that Dr. Ferber does say that some babies are ready as early as 4 months. I tried it around 4 months, and EK was not ready. By the time she was reallly ready, we hardly had to do it all. Babies are not ready to self-soothe any earlier than 4 months, and most are even later than that.
Hi, I am usually a lurker her but thought I would share my experience.
My DD is 7 weeks old and recently started the cat naps during the day and not sleeping longer than 2 hours a stretch at night. I read Dr. Weissbluth's book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which was a wealth of information. He gives other methods besides the CIO system and I thought I would try the CIO but couldn't do it with DD this young. I will implement his system when she gets a bit older though.
I read Dr. Karp's, Happiest Baby on the Block while I was pregnant and decided to re-read because of DD's sleeping issues. I tried the methods in his book again last night and it worked like a charm. DD is does really well in the swing and slept last night from 8 pm till 10 am this morning, just getting up 2 times (she takes formula, thus can go longer without eating) to eat then back to sleep again. It was heaven.
I highly suggest reading Dr. Karp's book if you haven't already. It may work for you.
from day 1 we followed Baby Wise which recommends letting them cry/fuss for a few minutes before going to pick them up- b/c often they will just fall right back to sleep after a couple minutes of crying. of course- learning their cry types and going to get them if they are crying from pain.
for actual CIO- i'd wait until about 6mos. We did it with Griffin when he had some bumps in the road with sleeping due to teething around 9mos... and it worked great. just a few nights and he was right back going to sleep easily.
BTW Your DD is so cute!
We started my son at 8mo and wished we did it sooner. Ferber method...I think you shouldn't try it until after 5 mo.
We are doing CIO with the baby right now. Ferber did not work for either son because they would get more upset when we went in. I use Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and thought it was good information.
I do believe that there is a difference between crying it out and fussing before falling asleep. I would run to Connor the first time he made a peep and I think I created bad sleep habits that way. With Ryan, we let him fuss (not cry) and he could fall asleep on his own much sooner than his brother did.
I have done CIO and most likely will be again. My older DD was never a napper and it was a real issue when she was a baby. I went against what people on this board think is OK and did a version of CIO when she was 6 weeks old. It was the only thing that worked. I never had to do it at night time but did to get her to nap as she would never nap and was a nightmare. I would get her close to sleep and lay her down and she would wake up screaming. When I left her in her crib the 1st day, she cried for maybe 15 mins and then napped for an hour which was great. The next time, it took less time and within about 2-3 days, she was napping. Never for more than an hour or so, but it was more than she had been doing. I've never had to do it since,
My 1 1/2 year old may be getting some of the CIO for the 1st time ever if she doesn't get back to her STTN. We never did it with her as we didn't want her crying to wake her sister and regret it as she is so bad at getting herself back to bed at night or even at naps unless we rock her or stay with her which is not happening. She has been teething so up every night for about a week now. We decided last night that if she woke up, we would go in and get her all snuggl;ed and comfy in her bed again but if she gets up, we are waiting 30 mins before we go back in. We didn't need to do it last night as she got up once but my DH got her back to bed and she stayed asleep so we shall see.
It is not easy on you but it works.
We did Ferber. We started at about 6-1/2 months and while the first week was hell for the parents (I think she was upset, but I also think that much of the fuss was to make us feel as crappy as possible), DH and I are so glad we did it.
Even now when she gets a cold or is teething (or does both at the same time like 2 weeks ago), she does not seem to get too far off her schedule and goes right back into it. It is a dream.
The other night she woke crying (teeth again) and I gave her the Tylenol. I took her back into the room fully intending to cuddle and hold her a bit more. Nope! She leaned over to the crib with both arms and I swear she was asleep before I finished laying her down. Lovely!