Extraordinarily unnecessary and possibly mute vent.

sleepingbeauty825

Well, my in laws are trying desperately hard to get pregnant (yes, that would be MIL and FIL), I guess MIL got baby fever and being a granny just isn't going to cut it. They believe they will have a hard time conceiving because of their age (they have no children together) and they want to adopt. Of course I am all for them helping out a child in need, no matter what the scenario, but one of the babies they are thinking seriously about adopting (this is where the story gets selfish, petty, pathetic and possibly unnecessary) is named the same name as what I have decided to name my daughter, if our child is indeed a daughter! Ugh! My first reaction was, "oh well, our kids will just have the same name." but I can't stop thinking about it! Be honest, would this bother any of you? (I'm not easily offended, so feel free to tell me the truth)

LittleMamaB

No. Not even a little bit.

laureneyoung@hotmail.com

i probably would be a little bothered. then my dh would probably calm me down and tell me the positive out of it (he's a lot more laid back than me!). it definitely wouldn't keep me from naming my daughter the same name, though. just try to look at the bright side of it, you'll have a play buddy for your LO. 

MrsBatty

they sound creepy.  and yes, that would bother me.

BubblyToes

oohgrrl11

It would slightly bum me out but I guess if the adopted her before my baby was born I would use a different name.

bebia

akward! yeah that would bother me!

lionessdiane

If they get her and if you have a girl, I would pick a different name. Sorry for the crazy in laws!

Becky262

I'd be more skivved out by the fact that they're so jealous of you they feel the need to adopt.  That's freakin weird

Orchid86

Wow. Yes, I would be bothered by that. All of it. Yikes.

LittleMamaB

The assumptions in this post are hilarious.

RLR5819

The fact that MIL & DIL want a baby is crazy!!

iheartinky

That would bother me, and I'm also not bothered by much.  The whole thing seems a little odd.

epphd

It might bum me out a little bit, but I would also recognize that they are perfectly allowed to choose whatever name they'd like, just as much as you are. 

epphd

To the previous posters - why is it "creepy" and why is it assumed that the MIL and FIL are adopting out of jealousy?  That's not really very fair.

LittleMamaB

epphd:

To the previous posters - why is it "creepy" and why is it assumed that the MIL and FIL are adopting out of jealousy?  That's not really very fair.

This is baffling me as well. 

bubbles1233

epphd:

It might bum me out a little bit, but I would also recognize that they are perfectly allowed to choose whatever name they'd like, just as much as you are. 

Many birth parents name the child before placing them for adoption.  Adoptive parents choosing the name is less common than you think (especially in open adoptions).

ecoppins

I may have misread it twice now, but it sounds like the baby girl up for adoption has already been named. In which case, it wouldn't bother me. If they were thinking about adopting a girl and naming her the name you had chosen and told them about then yes that would bother me.

The ILs' reasons for wanting a child are pretty unclear here to me. Sounds like there are several different motivating factors. At this point, all I can think is there might be a lucky child who may get adopted into a good loving home.

We have several repeat names in our family, it doesn't really bother anyone although they are of different generations. If they do end up adopting, and they do adopt that girl, you will have to go with your gut on the name thing.

sleepingbeauty825

In their defense, while FIL needs to just chill on the baby front (he has 7 kids ranging from 27 to 17), MIL has none and is much younger. This really is not that strange of an occurance where I live. I will ultimately name a daughter the name I have my heart set on, and I guess just hope its not too weird.

Shell24

It sounds like your MIL maybe just wants a child with her DH.  I would say EWWW based on my and my DH's parents ages, but there are a lot of young people on this board whose parents could be in their 40's.  Lots of women have babies in their 40's

I wouldn't assume it's jealousy, it may be that she did get baby fever.  And if they adopt a child, it obviously needs a better home so I see nothing wrong with that.

Oh, and I do not mean this in a mean way at all, just don't want you to get made fun of for it down the road..it's not mute, I think you mean moot (moot point).

Hope it all works out!

sleepingbeauty825

Shell24:

It sounds like your MIL maybe just wants a child with her DH.  I would say EWWW based on my and my DH's parents ages, but there are a lot of young people on this board whose parents could be in their 40's.  Lots of women have babies in their 40's

I wouldn't assume it's jealousy, it may be that she did get baby fever.  And if they adopt a child, it obviously needs a better home so I see nothing wrong with that.

Oh, and I do not mean this in a mean way at all, just don't want you to get made fun of for it down the road..it's not mute, I think you mean moot (moot point).

Hope it all works out!

Woops! Well thanks for telling me! All I know is, "It's like a cow's opinion! It's moo!"

ecoppins

Dh and I have actually discussed adpoting when we are older, and I'm kind of baffled by the description as "creepy." Of course, I have perhaps the most beautiful example.

I went to school with a whole bunch of kids close in age that were siblings. It took me a long time to figure it out as a kid what was up. There were 12-13 of them, none of them looked alike and they were close in age. I remember one of my teachers in high school saying that she has had one of the Jones kids for the past ten years or something like that.

They were all adopted foster kids. Their parents had 3 kids of their own, raised them, sent them off to school, saw them get married etc. They retired, they were wealthy, really wealthy. Instead of sailing the globe or getting into wine they decided to spend the rest of their lives giving kids who didn't have a good start the kind of family that they probably had always wanted.

They typically adopted kids who were 4-8 years old, that no one else seemed to want. For the ones that needed therapy, or cosmetic surgery (at least one of the girls had a cleft lip) they got the best. The parents were at every school event, every meeting, every sporting activity the school had cheering on which ever kid was in that activity. They were perhaps some of the best and most supportive parents I have ever witnessed. This coming from someone who has no memory of her father from before the age of 8 (he worked, a lot).

I guess I just can't wrap my head around wanting a child as creepy (unless you're going MJ on me)

kciriello

I guess I can see where you may have had that moment of the "ugh" feeling, but after that initial split second, no, this would not bother me at all. The fact that they are adopting a child in need is so wonderful for everyone, the name would be the very, very least of my concerns.

projectkjetil

Yes, this might be moot for two reasons:

1. The child they're considering adopting is already born and named (at least, I think that's what I understood).  While this coincidence might be annoying, it's not like your ILs even picked the name, so it's a no harm no foul situation there.
    
2. When an adoption is in the consideration mode, there are so many hurdles to overcome before the actual adoption takes place.  For now, how about focusing your energy on good thoughts for the little girl, that she end up in a loving forever home?  If it's with your ILs, wow, your child will have an auntie who's also a playmate... possibly with the same name.

IF they adopt her and IF your child is a girl and IF you choose to use the same name, you can always say, "She's named after her auntie."

Good luck and best thoughts to all involved, especially the little girl.