Guilted into taking kids to a wake last night. (Long)

CleoKitty

Someone I work with died and last night was the calling. The funeral is today. When my supervisor asked if I was going I told her that due to needing childcare I'd come to either the wake or the funeral, but probably not both.

So last night she texts me and asks if I'm coming, says people are asking about me. After responding that I was planning on coming to the funeral instead she send another text that said, "There are lots of other kids here." 

So, at that point I was sufficiently guilt tripped into going. I got the kids dressed in a rush and out the door. Once at the church I felt very self-conscious because in my rush I'd forgotten shoes for Anna, so I had to take her inside barefooted. Wouldn't be a big deal if she was still a little baby, but people generally expect to see shoes on a walking toddler in public places, you know? 

Luckily though they were both well-behaved and ds even went up to see "Freddie" in his casket despite my efforts avoid it with him.  He's been asking lots and lots of questions about death lately, so I think he really just wanted to see a dead person (as morbid as that sounds.)

He stared at Freddie in his casket for a good long time and then afterwards he said very matter of factly, "He looked really good, but he looked different. Not like himself. He's a smily guy and he wasn't smiling." When dh asked him more ds elaborated, "He was wearing a Calliou robe (huh?) and I said good-bye to him but he didn't hear me 'cause he's dead."  

So, I now suspect that dh and I will be getting a lot more questions about death in the next few days. It's hard to know how much to explain to an almost 5 y/o. How much can he really understand/process? It's such a sensitive topic.

HeatherRyan

Im sorry for your loss!