Ignoring MIL calls - is that really mean? Vent

snowflake19

My MIL keeps calling, and calling and calling (my cell phone) to "see how I am feeling."  Leaving me messages, "Call me back tonight - want to see how you're doing."   I have hit ignore the last 2 days and have not called her back.  She has talked with DH so it's not like she is in the dark, but I am starting to feel bad. 

Honestly I just can't being myself to answer the phone and pretend to be the happy pregnant lady.  I feel like total crap and when I finally drag myself home from work I am soo over people and not in the mood to make nice small talk.  MIL drives me completely nuts and the sound of her voice makes me twitch. She has a history of treating me like sh*t and never ever called me specifically until this baby.  Too bad lady, you had 10 yrs to treat me right and I am over it.  I know she is just sucking up cause she is freaking out that she won't see the baby as much as she wants to. 

Ok that was way longer than I thought it would be but my real question was, do I need to answer the phone or call her back?  I don't want to be cruel....but I just don't know if I have it in me.

ellemoney:)

I would just let DH call her back and say you're not really feeling up to talking tonight and that you've been really tired this week.?

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ChrisnTris

I agree w/ PP!  Just have DH tell her you got and appreciated her calls but aren't feeling chatty, but are doing fine.  I hate MIL crap!  Mine is starting to get all manipulative like that bc she knows I will control her access to the LO.  It's great to finally have leverage though!

EbethM0231

not mean, I do it all the time!  One time my MIL called to invite DH over for dinner...but not me!  That was enough for me not to answer her phone calls again.  I don't even listen to her messages...I just delete them and if DH isn't home, I call him and tell him to call his mother.  I also don't even like the sound of her voice... it's screachy!

DiscusCoach

This is why God invented email/text messaging.

ilenegrace

I have not answered my MIL's calls for months! Usually she will give up and call DH and he always covers for me with some excuse.

snowflake19

DiscusCoach:

This is why God invented email/text messaging.

Why didn't I think of this?  I should have emailed her today! I will email her tomorrow.  I usually ignore her emails cause she acts likes she just discovered the internet and sends 15 forwards a day to my work email that I don't have time to deal with...

...She just called again.....   

Cheerio B

If you feel too crazy guilty about not answering, just answer a call right before you're about to leave or eat dinner or something so you can only talk for a minute. Or just tell her you're about to do one of those things. It'd take 30 seconds to say "Thanks for calling but we're just sitting down to eat." Then your guilt would be gone and you wouldn't have to waste much time talking to her.

Or just keep ignoring. I have days where I can't deal with people either.

ArcticFox

It's not mean.. she needs to give u personal space!

My MIL called DH EVERY.SINGLE.DAY and I didn't feel like it was normal at all.  There is no need to talk to the same person every single day.  I mean, you would call her to talk if you wanted to.  Pretty soon she will be calling every day asking if you've had the baby.  People did that to me and the phone rining off the hook drove me nuts, I was trying to rest up before going into labor!

mrsgtobe

Ugh, I feel ya.  My MIL and I get along fine, but we rarely speak on the phone.  This is my 3rd PG and I know that just like the other 2 times, she will start calling every night to check up on me starting in a few weeks.  It's so annoying!!!!  I'll call when I need you or when something happens.  I actually find it slightly offensive that she has little to no interest in me other than when I am close to delivering one of her grandchildren.

snowflake19

mrsgtobe:

Ugh, I feel ya.  My MIL and I get along fine, but we rarely speak on the phone.  This is my 3rd PG and I know that just like the other 2 times, she will start calling every night to check up on me starting in a few weeks.  It's so annoying!!!!  I'll call when I need you or when something happens.  I actually find it slightly offensive that she has little to no interest in me other than when I am close to delivering one of her grandchildren.

Exactly!

I can only imagine what it will be like as it gets even closer...Good to know I am not alone.