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I saw this when I was lurking on the 0-6 month board the other day and I thought it was really cute:
What happened after you had your baby that you didn't expect before giving birth?
It can be anything from your emotional reaction to being a mom, to more practical, logistical things ("I didn't expect that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed" or "I didn't expect that I would find a way to function on 3 hours of sleep"), to surprising reactions from family and friends, etc.
Re: poll for the mommies
i didnt expect to have drastic hair loss a couple of weeks after giving birth, i had gorgeous long black hair before getting pg and while being pg...after giving birth it started falling out in chunks. it was real scary!
i didnt expect to have my legs swell up like the michellin cartoon after my csection. it was so scary that i though my toes would explode.
i didnt expect to fall in love with my husband all over again after seeing our daughter for the 1st time. i cant explain the feeling, it was all this emotions of having a new profound love for him.
i didnt expect to love someone who i'd never met before, who i'd only see thru a sonogram more than anything in this world. the love you feel for your child, the feeling of being over protective, the feeling of non-stop staring at your child is also something i cant explain. for the 1st month we kept telling each other "i still can't believe we made her".
Dude I STILL say that! But instead of her its him. LOL
crazy huh? we do too! we still can't grasp the idea lol
I didn't expect I would have to have a c/s
I didn't expect my baby would have a milk allergy and I'd have to be on a huge diet for 8 months while breastfeedng
I never knew what sleep deprivation was before having a baby, holy cow!
I did expect all the wonderful parts of it which is why I didn't list them
I went in before my sceduled appt because I thought there was seriously something wrong with me. Then - and only then - was I told that this was common after a c-section!Yeah - thanks for the heads up!
Like the others have said - you will not understand how you can love someones so little so much immediately - it is overwhelming. And the love for your husband does grow to new lengths - it's amazing!
erica: did you also get a rash all over your legs? my rash was so bad that i would cry from such a burning sensation i had. this happened after the swelling went away...i also wish they would have told me this!
I didn't expect for him not to latch on...ever!
I didn't expect it to be SO difficult to pump milk and alter breastmilk and formula.
I didn't expect it to be so easy to hold such a tiny baby.
There's a ton more I'm sure I just can't think of any right now other than emotional ones lol.
No rash - but the swelling hurt and it was probably a good 2 wks before it went down.
Ok - so here is another thing........
I didn't realize just how much/often you use your stomach muscles. Honestly - I have normal couches at home - but sitting in them after a c-section was tough. I didn't realize how much easier being in the hospital made getting up and down until I got home.
If I end up needing a c-section (knock on wood that I don't), I'm already expecting to have to sleep downstairs for the first few nights back home, if not the first week or more. I know going up and down the stairs is going to be a mission, not to mention getting in and out of bed. I have a nice, comfy recliner down stairs that will probably be much better for me to sleep on instead of having to lay flat on a bed.
where is the baby's nursery? i have a townhouse also and i limited my going up/down the stairs to in the morning and at night. mady's nursery is upstairs and i couldn't sleep downstairs for that same reason. my dh did all of the getting up and bringing her to me when it was time for her to feed, the getting out from the bed was a mission for more than 2 weeks though
Her room and our room are both upstairs, but we are planning to keep a pack'n'play downstairs anyway for naps and stuff, so I figure those first few nights she could sleep in there until we're all ready to move upstairs and sleep in our rooms. I would keep everything I need for her (diapers, wipes, blankets, etc.) by the pack'n'play and just have DH or whoever is helping me go to her room to get her clothes when she needs an outfit change. I have a bathroom and the kitchen downstairs, plus the recliner, so I'm thinking that might be the most comfortable place to be while I am recovering. The only thing that sucks is that I would have to go upstairs to shower
Well, I wouldn't know about stairs, but I had a little stepladder next to my bed to get in and out. Honestly - anywhere you sit after a c-section is going to be hard because you may not realize it, but when you sit down, you are using your stomach muscles so it is uncomfortable. I had a big pillow on my couch and recliner so that I didn't have to sit as far down. But, another shocker, you will find a way to get things done - you will be very impressed by just how strong of a person you are - at least i was
I had a step ladder to get into my bed too! I got so used to it that I still use it LOL
I didn't expect that I would find being a mommy as easy as I did. It seemed to just come naturally and I feared it being way harder than it was/is.
I didn't expect my hormones to be so out of wack. I remember right after I had Riley my shoulders broke out with acne and lasted about a week, then went away. That was something I didn't expect.
Also, the first few days, crying was like breathing for me. I cried at just about anything-not sad tears but just because my hormones were weird I could cry at the drop of a dime.
I didn't expect my pg tummy to just be gone the morning after. It was like, one minute she was in there and the next minute, my tummy was completely empty and flattened out. That was so weird to experience.
On the other side, I didn't expect the remaining baby weight to be so hard to work off. Those last 10-15 pounds just won't go away and I thought by now I'd be back to my pre-pg weight no problem.
Lastly, I didn't expect to have such a passionate love for my child. I knew I'd love her but I didn't realize how great that love would be until I actually met her. The first time you hold your baby changes the way you love forever!
I never expected how many people would see my boobs and how much I just didn't care. All of my friends saw them - all of the nurses - the doctors - you name it if you came into my room you probably saw my boobs. I didn't care - I wanted to breastfeed and I made it happen.
I didn't realize how hard it was to walk after my c/s. They said to walk but it hurt - if I have to have another I don't care what it takes, I'll find a way to walk.
I didn't expect so many people (all of my friends and family) to unconditionally love my baby. I knew dh and I would, but everyone else does too and it warms my heart every time.
I did not expect the porn star boobies!!! I did not expect to shoot milk out of my chest like the Bellagio Fountains. I did not expect to wake up in the middle of the night covered in breast milk.
I guess you can see that I was pretty overwhelmed by lactation at the beginning.
I also did not expect to breast feed for a year, nor did I EVER expect that I would miss it as much as I did when I weened.
I did not expect for my boobs to hurt soooooooo much and get so hot when the mik supply came in
I did not expect how energetic I was at the hospital after giving birth and then how tiiired I was all the time once we got home (and for the next 3months!)
I did not expect for my one month old to not pay any attention to me that whole first month.
I did not expect for my now four month old (next week) to be able to do SO many amazing things! Like know when to open his mouth when a spoon is coming right at it or smile every time he sees me or dh, or actually GIGGLE!!! It's so amazing to watch a human being develop!
I did not expect for it to take so long for him to sleep through the night (which he still doesn't really do), although he does sleep 5hours straight and apparently THAT IS sleeping through the night!
I didn't realize how badly it would hurt after a vaginal delivery. The first time I sat down on our wood dining room chairs, I broke into tears. I sat on a cushion for a good 2 weeks lol.
I didn't realize how overprotective i would get. I am normally pretty laid back but, holy cow, I STILL mop our floors every day! (well, swiffer, but whatever.)
I didn't realize how little my dogs would mean to me now. I know tht sounds horrible, but our dogs (1 big, 1 small) who had full run of the house, are no longer paid as much attention to as they did when it was just them. They don't get the extra cuddles and petting since all our extra cuddles go to Abby!
I didn't realize how frustrated and upset I could get with someone and then, just seconds later when I looked at their sleepy eyes, be completely over it. Trust me, I have moments where I want to take Abby to P's firestation and just leave her there with him, but then I see her smile at me and all is better.
I didn't realize that at 10 months after her eing born, I'd still break into tears. I looked at her today and thought "wow, she's going to grow up into an adult" and just started crying lol (now, I'm pretty sure that's the pregnancy hormones all over again, but whatever.)
I didn't expect to adapt to motherhood so quickly. I thought I'd be fumbling much more in the beginning, but you know what? That mommy instinct came in right away for me!
Oh, and I didn't expect to not feel bad when I decided not to have Abby room in with us in the hospital. It was a great 8 hour respite I got, and I was able to feel better, recuperate, and be well rested for her in the morning :-D
Ditto ditto ditto!!! I knew recovery was bad but when even LAUGHING hurts you totally appreciate your stomach muscles!! LOL. That was my big shocker since my mom and sister did natural delivery and the people who did C-Section said they "thought it was not that bad" yeah right! not for this mom!
Also I didn't think it would be as time consuming as it is. I get in bed around 9-9:30 and this is that I don't even have school anymore! My day is just never done! I still have socks on my dining room table from last night I couldn't finish putting away. No wonder scrapbook moms are 2-3 yrs behind, we never catch our "break".
the above is also worth every penny when I see my little beans face smile at me
I didn't expect to miss being pregnant so much. I didn't even like being pregnant all that much, but from the moment I woke up the next morning after having Nicholas, I felt so empty inside. I missed feeling him moving around inside me and I was jealous that I had to share him with the outside world. For nine months he was all mine.
There is nothing in the world that can prepare a first time mother for the total exaustion of having a baby.When people would tell me how little sleep you get when you have a baby, I figured it was no big deal. I pulled plenty of all nighters in my life, but a baby is completely different because you will actually get to fall asleep, only to be interupted by loud crying every hour all night long. It's torture.
I wasn't prepared for how demanding a newborn can be. When they want to eat, its NOW! If they don't want to sleep in whatever place you put them in, they let you know, LOUDLY! I always thought they just layed there and cooed all day. WRONG!
I wasn't prepared for new challenges at every single stage of parenthood. Just when it gets a little easier, suddenly you are presented with a new hurdle (night wakings, teething, temper tantrums, suddenly not wanting to eat or nap, seperation anxiety...just to name a few). Being a mother gets easier, but its never easy.
Mostly I wasn't prepared to gets so excited over the small things you just take for granted when you see a baby on the street, like when they clap their hands or smile or feed themself a cheerio. When you bring home a new baby, they can't do anything but stare at the wall. It is absolutely amazing to see them turning into a little person from one day to the next. I never knew I could feel such pride.
I did not expect my baby to stay in the NICU for 10 days because he was born 6 weeks early. I did not expect to feel SOOO paranoid about germs to the point that hardly any family came over for 2 months. I did not expect for my husband to be such a natural with Nathan. I did not expect that my C-section would be such an easy recovery or that I would lose 65lbs (much needed) post pregnancy. I did not expect all the presents and bags of hand me downs! People have really showered us with gifts for Nathan. I did not expect this first year to be going by SOOO quickly! I did not expect for breastfeeding to be so difficult because he was so small. I did not expect that it would take 6 months for us to finally get breastfeeding right! So many challenges along the way.
But I did expect that I would love Nathan and my husband like a crazy person, that never caught me off guard.
You described everything so perfectly!
I never expected to be induced for high blood pressure.
I never expected to cry because I missed the entire labor and delivery process.
I never expected to miss being pregnant.
I never expected to still be breastfeeding after 1 year and be able to pump at work for this long!!
I never expected to not have a period for almost 2 years now!
I never expected that I could endure all the sleepless nights for this long (my little one still doesn't sleep through the night).
I never expected that E would be sleeping in our bed at the age of 1.
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509