Do you wonder?

kbfny7

Do any of you wonder if you could have done things differently?

I wonder if I had not exersised so much early in my pregnancy would my miscarriage not have happened. Or the day I had a couple drinks before I knew I was even pregnant, would things be different? Was my body not prepared nutritionally? etc...etc..

I know that I cannot change what has happened, but I have these awful feelings that I somehow could have prevented this..My mind keeps thinking back to things I might have done differently..Is this normal to think these things?

Just a vent...thanks

Kel&Jay

While it is normal to think those things, please know that you did not do anything to cause this and nothing you could've done would have prevented it from happening. 

I felt like a total failure.  LIke my body was built to do this and I can't do it so there must be something wrong with me. 

I'm sorry you're having to go through this.  Hugs to you.

travers081906

So sorry for your loss...        ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

I have been wondering this for the last couple of days now too... I wonder if I had only drank alot more water, or if I didn't go on that long ass walk that made me pass out. Or if I didn't have those shots during the 4th when I didn't know I was pg but thought it was possible. I can't stop thinking that I should have made my Dr. have my 1st appt. earlier. I know that I can not change what had happened but I can't help but to wonder.

DebbieJS77

I feel so bad that you are having these thoughts. I have them too and they are not fun. Maybe if I wouldn't have taken that plane ride my water would have not broke.....

babygirlpriest

Of course! Some days I feel like I'm drowning in a tidal wave of guilt. And rational arguements do nothing to ease my guilt.

What about that time I might have eaten soft cheese? Should I have totally stopped doing yoga? Should I have been doing more yoga? What about that one cup of coffee I had? What about the time I sat in the shower and let hot water hit my belly? What about that week I had bad m/s and didn't eat as much as I should?

I won't lecture you on the pointlessness of your guilt - you already know that. But if it's any comfort, you're not alone in your "what ifs".

smileychic10986

I feel the same way.  You aren't alone.  I worked out really long and harder than I should of right around when I must have lost my baby.  Because I was 9 weeks when I found out I had m/c but the baby only grew to 8w 3d.  And that would of been the day I think I worked out harder at the gym than I should have.  And I still drank coffee almost daily, not as much as I drank before, but I still drank a lot.  It's safe to say I have A LOT of guilt...

Swede25

I have the same thoughts too.  Our baby only grew to 6 weeks 1 day, and that was the day I decided to take over the housecleaning duties from my DH and vacuumed and mopped.  My mom is all superstitious and goes off things her grandmother told her, and had told me to not vacuum or mop.  Now I always wonder if I should have listened to her...

summerbee1

100% there with ya! Even DH is having these thoughts...he is not drinking this time around while we're TTC. I wakeboarded, rode horses (before I knew I was pregnant), lifted some REALLY heavy luggage( the day before I started spotting, which lasted for 3 weeks before my m/c), drank one drink on my b-day before I was sure I was pregnant, ran, lifted some poles, emptied buckets of water, did pilates...etc, etc, etc.

I could go on and on, but it doesn't change anything at this point. Whether or not anything any of us did caused the m/c (which we'll never know), doesn't matter, but the one thing I feel is that I know that I will certainly think twice about pushing myself next time, if I feel tired, I will rest and not feel guilty. We have all learned how fragile life is and I know I will certainly be a little more aware when and if I am pregnant again.