What is wrong with me?

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Help me..

I feel so stuck on this IF journey.  I am having the hardest time talking to my husband about what our plan is and when we can start our IVF. I already know that our next step is to pay $1600 and have all the tests done to see if we can even qualify for shared Risk.  Why am I procrastinating this...we have $1600 in the bank and I know I need to get a move on it.  Yet, I can't seem to pick up the phone and call my RE. The worst part is I can't even discuss this with DH for some reason, I feel like I have shut down and can't communicate, ugh!!

Ladies, please send me good vibes to pick up the phone and call and make an appointment.  We met with the RE once back in February where he explained IVF with ICSI is our option, we haven't been back since, zero progress!  We need to meet with the financial people to see if we qualify for a discount based on our income.  I know there is more we could be doing to speed this process along, but I can't seem to pull it off!

In my mind we can't begin until we have 25K in case we can do shared risk.  But, even though we are OOP and don't have the money, we can come up with it by paying some with savings and takign out loans, but it leaves me feeling so broke and almost irresponsible.  My Mom has offered to loan us the money to get started but I just don't feel comforable owing her so much money, it's not like she has much money.  Regardless, we have options yet I'm stuck in the biggest RUT!!!

Thanks for listening!

smilee

You'll do it.

Cut yourself some slack... you are embarking on something huge!

When I get like this ( and I do a lot)

I give myself a deadline.

Tell yourself you will call by next Friday.  It gives you some wiggle room.  

Mrs.Kiltlifter

You will get there.   It took me a long time to make the call and then make the appts to get all of the testing done.  Setting a deadline always works.  I also scheduled it on Outlook so that I had to look at it all the time. 

theworms

I was at a standstill for the last 3 months - I just didn't want to deal.

Finally I made myself call the new RE's office and spoke to one of his nurses.  Then I waited another month to make an appt.  I'm meeting with him tomorrow and I am actually excited

IF sucks and is so hard to deal with but you'll get through it.

I agree with pp'ers give yourself a deadline and try to stick to it.

GL