I sent DH an email.

gabbeyh

Talking to him was not working.  When I talk to him, he apologizes up and down and swears that it will never happen again, or another fight starts.  He usually takes what I say and throws it back in my face later (and never gets what I'm actually saying). 

Here's what I sent him, I'm sure he will be mad that I sent him an email on his work email but I want to make sure that he gets it, and thinks about it.

Things need to change.  I don?t know how or why but things have changed for the worse in the past couple of months.  I can not and will not deal with that.  Eli is everything to me (as I?m sure he is to you as well).  I will not let him hear us fighting.  I?m sure that is why he woke up last night and was having a bad dream.    I?m honestly doing the best that I can.  I can?t continue to have little things thrown in my face (where wipes are located, getting his shoes, etc), or large things (like being on medication).  If you have something to say (like you think I?m lazy); just say it.  If I say something to you, it is not criticizing you.  I?m starting to think you feel that way because you are constantly criticizing me, or you are criticizing me because you think I?m criticizing you.  I don?t know which it is but stop worrying about locations of wipes, the colors of nuks, and the valves on sippy cups?it all doesn?t matter.  Overall, you are going to need to loosen about things.  If you are stressed because of something else, don?t take it out on me or Eli about dumb stuff.  I?m not saying that I?m not at fault (and I?ve never said that I wasn?t at fault), because I am.  I play into the arguments as well, but it is going to stop.  I don?t know if we need counseling or what, but if things aren?t better by the end of the year I?m out (I?m not in anyway threatening, I?m just stating it how it is.  I?m not saying that I would take Eli or anything like that).  I can?t live my life under a microscope and having everything that I do wrong blown out of proportion.  You grew up with parents who fought, Eli will not.  The look on Eli?s face when he was crying because he was scared will be stuck in my head forever.  I won?t do that again.

alison43

I'm glad you found a way to communicate with DH and I hope things look better for you soon.

(((hugs)))

FaithRocks

I know what you mean - talking to him didn't seem to help so you are looking for another form of communication. I hope that the email gets through to him.

emiannie

Hopefully with the email at work (early in the day) he can read it, get angry (if he's going to) and have time to mull it over and hopefully be able to talk rationally to you this evening.  If not, then I think you probably should look into counseling because your arguments/discussions aren't productive.  ((HUGS))  I'm sorry this is so difficult.  Hang in there. 

I know the look you're talking about too and it breaks your heart.  I would refuse to argue in front of Eli.  If he's going to start a fight or yell, just don't yell back.  Just walk away with Eli (if possible) until your DH calms down. 

LSUBride3

I always email DH when i'm upset or angry because it's the only way i can express myself correctly...when i talk i get too upset and forget things, say them wrong, etc.

I hope this works for you guys.