I feel like there's a huge weight on resting on my shoulders...

mrs.schwery

So DH is supposed to leave for training on the 30th but won't be able to go if I haven't had the baby by then.  This training is really important and is the last phase of his course that he is in.  If I don't have the baby, he will just sit around for a month and go with the next class, but it's a $900/ month raise that we would kind of just be giving up for a month.  DH really wants to go this month, and I don't blame him, I want him to as well.  I would rather him miss the first month, rather than the second honestly.  I want him to see DS smile for the first time and all that.

Anyways, I'm feeling really like this is all on my shoulders.  I can't handle it and am feeling really depressed.  I feel like it would be MY fault (even though I know I have no control over it) if this baby doesn't come in time.  I've been feeling very depressed lately about all of this, and almost resentful of my son, which breaks my heart.  I don't want to resent him, and I don't want DH to either. 

I'm terrified that my depression is affecting the baby... and I just want him to get the hell out of me!  I've tried the whole not worrying about anything path and I've tried just about every old wive's tale there is.  My doctors don't seem to give a damn about how I'm feeling, and just tell me it's all normal.  I don't feel like this is true.  They just don't care and that hurts even more. 

At this point, I just want to crawl under a rock and not come out til this baby decides he's ready to meet his parents.... but I don't think that's going to be anytime soon. 

MrsBeckO

I'm so sorry you're still waiting. I will continue to hold out hope for you that your son makes his way to the exit VERY soon!!!! Have your drs given a cutoff day at which point they'd induce, how long will they let you go? 

browneyes_24b

You are very a strong person for recognizing your feelings and I give you kudos for that.  I truly think you should get a second opinion from a doctor who is going to listen to your concerns about this.  If you are feeling depressed and having feelings of resentment I truly think you should find another doctor who will listen to you.  Good luck! 

mrs.schwery

browneyes_24b:

You are very a strong person for recognizing your feelings and I give you kudos for that.  I truly think you should get a second opinion from a doctor who is going to listen to your concerns about this.  If you are feeling depressed and having feelings of resentment I truly think you should find another doctor who will listen to you.  Good luck! 

 

I would love to find another doctor but unfortunately, I have Tricare and go to a military hospital, so my doctor is chosen for me and I have no choice in the matter.  I completely agree that these feelings need to be addressed but no one seems to listen to me about it.  I had serious bouts of depression early in high school so I know the signs, and I feel like I'm all alone in thinking that's what it is. 

mrs.schwery

MrsBeckO:

I'm so sorry you're still waiting. I will continue to hold out hope for you that your son makes his way to the exit VERY soon!!!! Have your drs given a cutoff day at which point they'd induce, how long will they let you go? 

 

Induction is set for Sept. 4th.

AllisonLeigh

Don't worry he will come when he comes and you have every right to want him out of you at this point. I would too. Is there any way they can move up your induction date?

mrs.schwery

They won't do it any sooner.... Which really isn't helping my emotional track right now.

AllisonLeigh

Vent away. I would be depressed too. Maybe its a blessing in disguise if he misses next month. You may need him more than you know.

Natesmomma

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way... I would be too. But just so you know if you switch to Tri-care prime (it is still free) you can choose your own civilian doctor. I hope that the little guy decides to come soon.

chelsearenee

Thats a big raise, and I know you are looking forward to it, but if it were me I would have him just plan on going the following month.  I think its more important to have DH spend time with the baby the first month than to have the extra cash.

mrs.schwery

We have Tricare Prime and you cannot choose a civilian doctor if you live within so many miles of an MTF.  You have to have Tricare Standard which I can no longer obtain for this pregnancy.

mrs.schwery

Again, I would rather him miss the first month and get the help from my grandmother that will be here then for him to miss the second month when he will be smiling and have more of a personality.  I will have help the first month and won't if he doesn't leave til October...  It's really for the best for him to go to this one and not wait but he can't if I haven't had the baby by the 30th. 

AllisonLeigh

mrs.schwery:

Again, I would rather him miss the first month and get the help from my grandmother that will be here then for him to miss the second month when he will be smiling and have more of a personality.  I will have help the first month and won't if he doesn't leave til October...  It's really for the best for him to go to this one and not wait but he can't if I haven't had the baby by the 30th. 

Oh that makes more sense then. I am glad your grandma is coming to help. Sunday is the 30th right, so hopefully he will come before then. Do you have a Drs. App. this week where they could maybe strip and/or stretch you out?