MIL witness the birth ?

kellmo

So I always planned on having my mom and MIL in w/ my husband and I during L&D. After I got married almost a year ago my MIL and I have sort of grown apart. She wasn't very nice to me at our wedding and throughout this year we have really lost touch. I love her very much but we are not very close. I don't want to be uncomfortable during L&D because of her. I feel bad for her though because my husband's sister never asked her if she wanted to witness the birth of their babies. I really always wanted them both to be there but now I'm thinking just my mom and my dh but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't know what to do. Tomorrow is my big u/s and both mom and mil are coming. I guess I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Any suggestions or thoughts? TIA!

liza0828

I think you should invite who you are comfortable having in the delivery room. 

FWIW I'm not having my mom or my MIL there, and they haven't been in the delivery room for any of their other grandchildren either.  Your MIL will have plenty of time with the baby after it's born.

mlf625

You're the one giving birth, your feelings are really the only ones that matter. ?Forget your MIL- if you don't want her there, she will get over it. ?She got to witness her children being born.

Todd&Laura

Did you ever actually tell her (at any time) that you want her to witness your child's birth?  If not, I would say that this is an easy one--just don't invite her.  If she pries, tell her it is a private moment and she can see the baby after it is out of your body.  I know that I wouldn't want my MIL seeing me topless let alone giving birth.  Maybe you feel differently, but go with your gut.

llc730

You're are the boss. IMO you should have who you want and JUST who you want. My MIL will not be in the room because I just don't have that kind of relationship with her. BTW you may want to check with the hospital where you are delievering. Some have limits on how many people can be in the room during delivery. That way you could just blame in on the hospital.

kellmo

llc730:

You're are the boss. IMO you should have who you want and JUST who you want. My MIL will not be in the room because I just don't have that kind of relationship with her. BTW you may want to check with the hospital where you are delievering. Some have limits on how many people can be in the room during delivery. That way you could just blame in on the hospital.

 

You are allowed 3 people in the room with you. 

CKLee1107

I definately don't have the kind of relationship with my MIL to even consider that one but then again, my mom won't be in there either....

I know of a few people who had MIL and mom in for the labor part but then it was just DH for delivery...However, I don't know how to tactfully ask MIL to leave for delivery if mom is staying so that might not be a good option...

GL!  Do whatever makes you most comfortable.  Honestly you being comfy with a decision is only going to make L&D easier on you...

murfygirl

I am close with my MIL and would never consider inviting her to the delivery!

aocain02@yahoo.com

You are the one delivering the baby so you should be able to have whoever you feel comfortable with in the room with you.  Personally, I don't want my mom or MIL.  I'd feel more comfortable with my dad and my DH but I know it would hurt my mom's feelings so I'm planning on just my DH for now.

KateLouise

I will DH in the room and that is it. I will have DH at the hospital and that is it. No one else is invited because to me it's not about other people.

If MIL has hurt feelings well tough luck. You are the one giving birth, you get to choose what is comfortable for you.

Just don't invite her. the end. 

CRM724

This one is 110% up to you and your feelings. I would think that you would only want who you're most comfortable with.

 It will only be DH and my mother when I'm delivering. For labor, it will be those two + my father and siblings-- but again, for delivery it's only DH and Mom. I really don't feel like it needs to be a show for a ton of people to see. All in all, yes it's a birth and that's an amazing thing, but in reality I'm still in the hospital, I'm a patient, I'm in pain, my nether-areas will be showing for all to see, I don't want my MIL anywhere near me! LOL... IMO, it's a private and intimate thing, only to be shared with those with whom you're most comfortable.

melody921

I think you should decide as it gets closer what makes you most comfortable. If you want her there, ask her. If not, there's certainly no requirement. For me, it's DH only, so neither mom nor MIL will be attending.

nuttybunch

You shouldn't feel bad for her because she wasn't invited to witness the birth of SIL's kids. Not everyone wants the world staring at their womanly bits. I know I didn't.

I didn't invite my mom or MIL to the u/s OR the birth. They weren't even allowed at the hospital until I actually delivered. And you know what? I didn't feel bad about it AT ALL. It's something I wanted to share with my husband as we started our own new family. I don't care if MIL's feelings were hurt. It's about time she realized her kids were growing up and woudn't need her to hold their hands every step of the way any more.

Now, if you want your mom, MIL, neighbor and mailman in the delivery room with you, that's your perogative. You can share it with everyone who means a lot to you. Or you could just do it with you and DH. Or you and DH and your mom. Whatever YOU decide. It's not up to anyone except YOU. DH doesn't even get a vote. He can weigh in but it's ultimately your decision since it's your body.

erin_aaronsbaby

liza0828:

I think you should invite who you are comfortable having in the delivery room. 

FWIW I'm not having my mom or my MIL there. 

 This. My MIL has a tendancy to be a little caustic when stressed, and my mother is a bit of a hove-er. I don't want either one to rub each other the wrong way, and would rather have them wait outside and let it be between my DH and I. My mother IS, however, my backup birth partner if DH is out of town when I go into labor.