Today I should be

grr_aargh

32 weeks.  Or 14 weeks.  I should be knee deep in my third trimester or just beginning my second trimester.  Instead I am looking at Fertility Friend and wondering, again, if I'm ever going to ovulate.

Most days are OK.  Today is not.  I'm not angry today, so that much is good.  I'm just very deeply sad.  When my son was born, I knew that our family wasn't complete.  I knew that I wanted one more child.  It took two and a half years of convincing and an unplanned pregnancy to get my husband to believe it.  Those were long years.  And now we're both ready, both willing to accept another child with open arms, and it just isn't working.  I keep getting all sorts of suggestions ranging from a chipper "Take your vitamins and relax!" to "Maybe you have secondary infertility."  The fact is that getting pregnant hasn't been an issue in the past 6 months.  It's staying pregnant.  Twice I've *been* pregnant and have lost the babies - so now I wonder - is there something wrong with me?  What have I done to make my body fail me so miserably? 

Sorry, I don't mean to be a downer today, I'm just feeling very down.

Kara5109

I'm so sorry your feeling down today. Some suggest seeing a doctor after 2 miscarriages, just to rule out any problems. I'm sure you are fine and you will have your healthy baby!!

*kendrick*

I'm so sorry. Feeling helpless is so stinking frustrating!

grr_aargh

Yeah, I know.  I discussed it with my doctor and he really feels like the fact that we've had 2 perfect pregnancies, this is just a round of really bad luck and that there's nothing wrong with me.

Part of me is inclined tobelieve him, but another part just really worries that something's gone wrong with me since my son was born. . . and that it'll take another m/c to figure it out.

Swede25

I completely feel the same way when it comes to worrying and wondering if there is something wrong with me.  I've had 2 losses myself and have decided to give it one more try before going back to the RE for more extensive care.

I was just thinking today too that I should have a 2 month old, or be preparing for my NT scan and telling the world I was pregnant.  Sucks.