I think it's REALLY easy ...

MrsTotty

To say things like, 'women should wait a year before getting pregnant' or 'I try not to hire women who could get pregnant'  ... when every woman is GUARANTEED 4 months off by the government. 

LoriFalce

::golf clap::

mlfricke

Where did you find that information?  When I had my son, we only got 12 weeks (unpaid) FMLA.  Is this a new law or something?

Amrice78

mlfricke:

Where did you find that information?  When I had my son, we only got 12 weeks (unpaid) FMLA.  Is this a new law or something?

It's the law in the Netherlands, where Euro lives.

ShanJosh777

Or if you have no problem getting pregnant.  Not saying that anyone who made these comments didn't struggle with IF, because I don't know.  But I just feel that if you have been TTC for a while, then you end up getting a new job, either by choice or due to a layoff or whatever, it is crazy to think that you would be ethically irresponsible to continue TTC.  I would never put my personal life on hold for an employer. 

*blondiem*

MrsTotty:

To say things like, 'women should wait a year before getting pregnant' or 'I try not to hire women who could get pregnant'  ... when every woman is GUARANTEED 4 months off by the government. 

Hell yes.

Josie22

Or if things go as planned, and not early.

mlfricke

Amrice78:

mlfricke:

Where did you find that information?  When I had my son, we only got 12 weeks (unpaid) FMLA.  Is this a new law or something?

It's the law in the Netherlands, where Euro lives.

Oh, thanks.  I was getting my hopes up that something had changed here.

 

MrsTotty

ShanJosh777:

Or if you have no problem getting pregnant.  Not saying that anyone who made these comments didn't struggle with IF, because I don't know.  But I just feel that if you have been TTC for a while, then you end up getting a new job, either by choice or due to a layoff or whatever, it is crazy to think that you would be ethically irresponsible to continue TTC.  I would never put my personal life on hold for an employer. 

This as well. 

joecubed

ShanJosh777:

Or if you have no problem getting pregnant.  Not saying that anyone who made these comments didn't struggle with IF, because I don't know.  But I just feel that if you have been TTC for a while, then you end up getting a new job, either by choice or due to a layoff or whatever, it is crazy to think that you would be ethically irresponsible to continue TTC.  I would never put my personal life on hold for an employer. 

I haven't struggled with IF, but this was the main thing I was thinking about when people were talking about whether a woman "should" put TTC on hold.  What if she's been trying for months and she "takes a break" only to lose her job, relocate because of her DH's job, etc., and have to start all over?  That's crazy.  That menality would force women who struggle to conceive to have a gap on their resume years long that might sadly end without a child anyway.

KKM

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

HeatherLynneH

mlfricke:

Amrice78:

mlfricke:

Where did you find that information?  When I had my son, we only got 12 weeks (unpaid) FMLA.  Is this a new law or something?

It's the law in the Netherlands, where Euro lives.

Oh, thanks.  I was getting my hopes up that something had changed here.

 

 Now i want to move to the Netherlands..

Amrice78

KKM:

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

I'm sure she thinks you were really irresponsible and should have disclosed up front that you were pregnant so they could have hired someone else because you obviously haven't worked out for them and how dare you not put their needs above your own.

ShanJosh777

KKM:

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

When I was about 14-15 weeks pregnant I was interviewing for a pretty big promotion at my company.  No one knew I was pregnant.  I posted here (well prob on 2nd tri at the time) and I think also on Money Matters asking if I was being unethical in not disclosing it and every.single.person told me not to disclose it because I would put myself out of the running for a promotion I deserved. I guess Euro didn't see my post?  Anyway, the employer isn't allowed to use your pregnancy as a factor anyway, so why should we be obligated to tell them? 

Jays-n-Shane

KKM:

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

Or my situation - I was 8w when I started I think. I worked a month, went on STD b/c of hyperemesis, came back for a month, then was out again from 20w until 10w PP.  It couldn't be helped.  I was TTC for over a year, got laid off and then got my BFP.  I did not expect to conceive naturally, but I did.  I wasn't about to put job hunting on hold, especially because I was the insurance carrier prior to my layoff and we couldn't afford DH's insurance. 

Oh, and I got paid the whole time.

brandonsfuturewife07

5 stars

racegirl723

ShanJosh777:

KKM:

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

When I was about 14-15 weeks pregnant I was interviewing for a pretty big promotion at my company.  No one knew I was pregnant.  I posted here (well prob on 2nd tri at the time) and I think also on Money Matters asking if I was being unethical in not disclosing it and every.single.person told me not to disclose it because I would put myself out of the running for a promotion I deserved. I guess Euro didn't see my post?  Anyway, the employer isn't allowed to use your pregnancy as a factor anyway, so why should we be obligated to tell them? 

Exactly!  I've worked in HR for 10 years and I always advise women not to disclose their pregnancy until you have the offer in writing.   There is nothing unethical or irresponsible about that.  I usually advise women to disclose upon accepting the offer, though.  If it is a good company, they will be glad to to have you and work with you. 

Employment in this country is at-will.  This means that your employer owes you nothing and likewise you owe them nothing, especially not delaying your conception plans. 

In reading Euro's post, I feel like she is living in the 1950s where people only worked for one company for their entire life and the employees were loyal to the company and the company was loyal to the employees.   That just isn't reality anymore.  Companies do what is best for their bottom line and employees must do what is best for themselves.   

KKM

racegirl723:

ShanJosh777:

KKM:

I would love to know what she really thinks of me being 16 weeks pregnant (and not disclosing it) when I interviewed for this job.

When I was about 14-15 weeks pregnant I was interviewing for a pretty big promotion at my company.  No one knew I was pregnant.  I posted here (well prob on 2nd tri at the time) and I think also on Money Matters asking if I was being unethical in not disclosing it and every.single.person told me not to disclose it because I would put myself out of the running for a promotion I deserved. I guess Euro didn't see my post?  Anyway, the employer isn't allowed to use your pregnancy as a factor anyway, so why should we be obligated to tell them? 

Exactly!  I've worked in HR for 10 years and I always advise women not to disclose their pregnancy until you have the offer in writing.   There is nothing unethical or irresponsible about that.  I usually advise women to disclose upon accepting the offer, though.  If it is a good company, they will be glad to to have you and work with you. 

Employment in this country is at-will.  This means that your employer owes you nothing and likewise you owe them nothing, especially not delaying your conception plans. 

In reading Euro's post, I feel like she is living in the 1950s where people only worked for one company for their entire life and the employees were loyal to the company and the company was loyal to the employees.   That just isn't reality anymore.  Companies do what is best for their bottom line and employees must do what is best for themselves.   

This is what I did.  I let them know of my pregnancy when I accepted the offer.