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Two Under 2
I'm sitting here crying.
I am sitting here so upset.
We switched pediatric dentists and today was the 1st visit. I know I should have done it sooner, but, yesterday, we took a test drive to the new place.
There are stairs. Stairs to get in and then stairs to get down to their office. At least that's what the sign says, "Go through main entrance (up 8 stairs) and then down the stairs (who knows how many)." I can't go anywhere with stairs.
I tried to call this morning when they opened at 8:30 to ask (beg) if there is any other way and, if not, tell them I can't make it. I was put on hold THREE TIMES and then hung up on.
I am sitting here crying because it is yet ANOTHER illustration of how simple, daily tasks are impossible for me.
I've gone over every possible option in my head and there is no way for me to do this unless I magically sprout another pair of arms between now and 10am, when I'd have to leave.
I have to carry DD3 in the car seat (I can't wear her) because I'd have to put her down to sit in the chair with the older girls. I can't just put her on the floor. So, she has to come in with us in the car seat. Then, I have the diaper bag that weighs 16lbs that I have to bring in case someone wants to eat/drink/crap themselves through a diaper/puke all over the themselves, me, or the floor/whatever else can possibly happen. My middle can't do stairs yet, so I'd have to carry her, too....while holding onto my oldest to make sure she doesn't take off and/or fall down the stairs.
Then, if I managed to get us IN there, I'd have to manage 2 toddlers while filling out forms and sit in the chair with 1 during their exam while making sure the other doesn't take off/touch something. All while trying to keep DD3 happy while being confined to her carseat for who knows how long and feeding/changing her while we're there and, while my hands are full with her, making sure the 2 toddlers don't take off or touch something.
I don't have enough arms and I need my stroller. I can't go anywhere with stairs because I can't go anywhere without my stroller.
No dentist and, now, they keep hanging up on me, so I can't even call them and tell them.
So, I'm sitting here and crying in the bathroom while they all scream in the living room.
I'm so depressed. I am so limited as to where I can go and, to top it off, I have to find a new pediatric dentist, and this was the closest one to me and it was STILL an hour away.
I'm already dreading the pediatrician appointment tomorrow....but, at least I know there are no stairs there (I had to switch pediatricians, too , because I couldn't get my stroller in there....but, I like the new place better, so that wasn't a huge loss to me).
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm sitting here crying.
I have no help from family. H works over an hour away and leaves at 5am and doesn't get home until 5pm. So, he's useless to me, too.
I've been sitting here thinking about parents who have kids in wheelchairs. Screw them, I guess?? I don't know. I thought businesses had to have entrances for wheelchairs. We drove all around the building and no other entrances. If they'd actually answer my call, I could ask.
Now, it's too late because there's no way I'm getting us all out of the house in half an hour.
The saddest part is that I've been looking forward to this for weeks because it meant leaving the damn house. I've been telling DD1 all about how the dentist was going to clean her teeth and she was excited, too.
This sucks.
Sorry, that does suck big time! Hope your day gets better
I know its too late for today and you don't have help from family but is there anyone from your church or neighborhood you can ask? Do you know other moms in the area, maybe they could watch atleast 1 of your other children or recommend a babysitter so you can try again...
I'm sorry your day is not going well!
You really need to find some sort of babysitter or help for things like this. There must be other moms in the area that you can "trade" time with. They watch 2 of the kids for an hour or 2, and then you can do the same for them on another day.
Appointments like that are really hard. It will get better for you as they get older. When I take all 3, the girls walk, and I carry L...........
GL to you!
The AAPD and recommends they be seen at 1yr, so we've been going since then with the oldest and this was supposed to my middle's 1st visit. I've been having issues flossing my oldest DD's teeth (she fights it, bites me, and there is supposedly some contraption they were going to teach me to use to make it easier) and she's a thumbsucker. This was supposed to be her orthodontic exam.
They also check my water for fluoride levels since I have a well and it can vary over time.
I live in the middle of nowhere. All of my friends work. My doula's DD came over once to help me, but they're on vacation and she's going back to school.
I used to have a woman who watched them for me sometimes if I had appointments, but she stopped. First, she hurt her knee....then, she started having issues with tenants in another city paying her rent and had to deal with that.....finally, I just stopped asking and, even though we e-mail now and then, she hasn't offered or brought it up. I think her husband had a problem with it (she used to run a daycare and he told her he didn't want kids in the house anymore, took up too much of her time, blah, blah).
The social worker at the pedi office contacted me because the pedi said it's obvious I need some kind of help here, but I don't qualify for their services because I'm not on public assistance. She suggested storytime at the library and I nearly strangled her through the phone.
I contacted a nanny place and they wanted $18./hr, plus I'd have to pay employer SS taxes, PLUS I'd have to hire a payroll company, PLUS the $1,500 in fees they collect. W.T.H.???
The best part of today was when H asked me why I didn't bring DD3 and the diaper bag in and ask the receptionist to watch them and go back out for the other 2. Um, because then I'd be leaving a 2yr old and a 1yr old in a car, by themselves, in a parking lot, in 90 degree heat.
I'm pretty sure I'd be making the news, in handcuffs, for that stunt.
Note to self....never let H take all 3 to an appointment by himself.
Hi there! I feel your pain. Logistics are something I think about a lot, too, and I can't imagine a dentist office being that inaccessible - how ridiculous! I have a couple ideas for you:
Could you have someone from the dentist's office meet you at your car to help you inside? Maybe arrange it in advance and have them meet you at your car when you call from the parking lot?
Secondly, I know people have varying opinions about these things, but have you considered the little backpacks with the leashes attached that your toddlers can wear? I've seen little monkey backpacks before I think. Your toddler walks with the backpack and you hang on to the leash, so they have a little independence while you can keep them reined in.
Is your diaper bag a backpack? If not, I highly recommend. This way, both of your hands are free to hang on to other little hands
In your dentist situation, if I absolutley had to go with all 3 kids, I would have had a backpack diaper bag, held the car seat with your DD#3 in one hand, maybe bjorned DD#2, and held DD#1's hand. Heavy, I know.
I have an Ergo baby carrier that I love, too. You can carry a baby on your front or back, and they can weigh up to 40 pounds. It's really versatile.
Hang in there - soon enough you'll be able to get out more. I hope you can find a little help in the meantime, whether it's a babysitting coop that's free or a mother's helper that's a little more expensive. Good luck!!!!
Mom to Megan(5), Bridget(4), Tessa and Annie (2) and Mary (brand new)
What about hiring a teenager as a mommy's helper? Since they won't be alone with the kids, it's not as scary as hiring someone random who will have full care of the kids. But they could be an extra pair of hands to carry the diaper bag and car seat as well as help entertain.
And because you could "hire" someone who is still pretty young, you could probably just pay them $5/ and they'd be thrilled. Of course this is less helpful once school starts unless you can get a late appointment, but something you could try.
If you do have to find a new dentist, it would be quicker to ask if their office is ADA compliant than to explain why you can't use stairs.
I second a mommy's helper. I may even get one for a few hours a week next year...just to help with my sanity with only two!
I'm so sorry you have to go through this - so hard! But the best thing to do is plan to avoid it from happening again. You could also have DH take a day every other month that is reserved for doc/dentist appts/shopping any other errands.
Oh this post has me in tears... I'm so sorry! I am often overwhelmed by the logistics of things like this with my own two. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. I'm sure it's even harder with your DH who doesn't seem to really get it...
I wish I could help you. I wish things like this were easier for us. I wish your stupid dentist office would stop hanging up on you.
I hope things worked out in the end.
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
I'm so sorry...been there. Please PM me if you ever need to vent.
If you can swing the price of even a 15 year old to help you out on these trips, that would be a lot of help. It does get easier. I know I just have things that can't wait until I have help, so I've found ways to get it done. It's certainly not always easy, but you get used to it.
ditto the mommy's helper...I was one for years for my neighbor with 3 young kids (one with special needs). Looking back, I'm sure I saved her sanity.
I am so sorry! I only have 2 and I feel so overwhelmed. We too have no family in the area and H works long hours. I have learned little tricks, like calling any dr before hand and asking them to mail me all the paperwork that needs to be filled out. I tell them I want to spare them the screaming so I always get a "thank you so much" from the staff and the papers are mailed. I can fill them out while the kids are sleeping and actually be able to think clearly. I also bring "special" toys or snacks....things that they don't get to play with everyday or eat. When it is new they are so excited and keeps them occupied. But it sounds like you really need to get a sitter. What about a moms group? Alot of them have co-op babysitting!
It seems so crazy that the drs you have don't have ramps! I thought it was a required law to have have handicap ramps. Maybe you can call to see if they have a ramp or elevator hidden somewhere. I hope it gets better.