an embarrassingly stupid question, coming right up

someflower6

i'm in the not ttc/not tta phase right now. i was talking to a friend about this, and she said she is feeling "similarly." she's really not supposed to get pregnant again-- she already had a c-section, followed by a t-section for her last two pregnancies, and the drs warned that there could be some major complications in future pregnancies. however, she does want another kid and is sorta hoping that she'll get knocked up by "accident." i asked her if her and her husband were using any protection and she said no. so i assume that meant at least they're doing the "pull and pray" method-- but even that, she was shady on. after a few more questions, she admitted that even the pull and pray method they don't do reliably. however, and i quote--

"i always make sure to clean up immediately afterwards. it's not like i just lay there, hoping i'll get knocked up-- i go to the bathroom and that gets everything out."

so look, i'm not a fertility expert, but i vaguely remember those classes i took in high school where they like to reinforce that NO method of birth control is 100% effective-- but surely this has got to be an exceptionally BAD form of birth control. i had no idea what to say to her... i'm thinking she must really want to get pregnant "by accident" if this is what they're relying on for birth control! i was so suprised by her reasoning... she really is a pretty intelligent person. in fact, for awhile i truly wondered if this was a joke.

it just makes me wonder... have you ever heard that "cleaning up" afterward decreases the chances of conception in a significant way?

Cow-girl

I was just lurking but I had to respond to this post.  LOL..  I have a friend that was using the "push it all out" method after having sex with her boyfriend.  She would run to the bathroom and kinda "push" to try to get all the "spermies" out.  Well let me just say this.  She now has a beautiful 1 1/2 yr old DD.  It doesnt work.  That is really a bad form of BC..  I agree she must really want to get pg!!

Jacquiemark

Ummm...no. I could see myself thinking that if I was maybe, I don't know 16. Sounds like she is shooting for the "accident"

Mrs.PinkPearls

Once you have sex, those spermies are going to be where they need to be. You can't clean up and get them back out. She'll have leftover fluids but thats it.

SweetieD21

No, I have never heard this.  I know sperm travel considerably slow, taking hours to get through the cervix and into the fallopian tubes, but by the time you're done having sex, the sperm cells are already swimming around in there.  So, no, I don't think cleaning up significantly decreases your chances of conceiving.

someflower6

Jacquiemark:

Ummm...no. I could see myself thinking that if I was maybe, I don't know 16. Sounds like she is shooting for the "accident"

i also remember at 16 many girls thinking they could "douche the spermies out."

bebeblues

Does she avoid her O week? DH and and did that for awhile prior to conceiving dd--- and then again this time, since may-june.....assuming that if it happened we were ready, but not really "trying".......but we decided to ttc in July, meaning we're watching for O.....BUT I can tell you...It's not fool proof! You better be wanting a baby if you're doing this method....I would NOT rely on it to not get pregnant!!!

I would think that after 3 kids, she would already know this. She would have to be "wanting" to get pregnant.

bebeblues

bebeblues:

Does she avoid her O week? DH and and did that for awhile prior to conceiving dd------

Also meant to say, we didn't "clean up"---I've never sat on a toilet and tried to "get rid" of anything....just meant we avoided my O week---and back then I was dead on w/30 day cycles..... Sperm are going where they're going..... 

someflower6

bebeblues:

Does she avoid her O week? DH and and did that for awhile prior to conceiving dd--- and then again this time, since may-june.....assuming that if it happened we were ready, but not really "trying".......but we decided to ttc in July, meaning we're watching for O.....BUT I can tell you...It's not fool proof! You better be wanting a baby if you're doing this method....I would NOT rely on it to not get pregnant!!!

I would think that after 3 kids, she would already know this. She would have to be "wanting" to get pregnant.

that's actually a really good question... but as far as i know, she doesn't chart. and i didn't have the heart to get into the "not all women ovulate on day 14" conversation with her.

Jacquiemark

someflower6:

Jacquiemark:

Ummm...no. I could see myself thinking that if I was maybe, I don't know 16. Sounds like she is shooting for the "accident"

i also remember at 16 many girls thinking they could "douche the spermies out."

lol, true.

nemattox

Yep, put me firmly in the "She wants to be pregnant again no matter what the doctors say" camp.

Kel&Jay

Since she seems so intent on getting KTFU "by accident", maybe  you should recommend she talk to her Dr. about how major the complications could be if she were PG again.  That might get her to shape up a little...

BabyRN2009

Kel&Jay:

Since she seems so intent on getting KTFU "by accident", maybe  you should recommend she talk to her Dr. about how major the complications could be if she were PG again.  That might get her to shape up a little...

The one major complications that immediately jumps out to me is uterine rupture.  The risk of this increases with each subsequent C-section, and if she has 2 scars going different directions (a low transverse incision as well as the classical "t" incision) then her uterine muscle can be extremely weak on that side and is at a very high risk of separating (uterine rupture) later in pregnancy as it stretches to its max.  Depending on the severity of the rupture (just a "leak" or complete rupture) this can cause death of the baby almost immediately, and mom is in great danger as well if she doesn't get medical help right away.  The risk is less if a person has 2 c-sections and the incisions are in the same exact spot.  But still the risk goes up, and the recommendation is to wait 12 months minimum before TTC again in order to allow the muscle enough time to heal and strengthen before being stretched again.

Oh, and I must comment on her "birth control" method.  I always get up immediately after sex to pee and clean up so I don't get a UTI.  I got pg twice this year (we were trying).  When her DH ejaculates, his sperm get shot up into her cervix and there is no way she's getting those out of there no matter how quickly she gets up, and even if she does see a bunch of stuff fall out when she gets up...that's not everything!  Sorry if that's TMI, I'm just being blunt and honest.

katie9136

this post is GREAT!

 

redshoegirl

Mrs.PinkPearls:

Once you have sex, those spermies are going to be where they need to be. You can't clean up and get them back out. She'll have leftover fluids but thats it.

 

someflower6

BabyRN2009-- thanks for your input. i think you really hit the nail on the head, multiple times. her t-section was about 2 years ago, but i know her dr's are really concerned about her health... and she has quite a few health issues to begin with. i really feel for her because i know she wants another kid but i really think she's playing with fire.