Turkey Baster...

a.graves

Now please do tell how does that work?

ToshaGirl

Are you talking about my IUI reference?

darcyd810

I would love to hear how this works.  lol  This will make my day.

a.graves

CathyMD:

Are you talking about my IUI reference?

Mainly what Ocean said in my post below. But if you wanna share then feel free! I am just curious.

AppleRidge

Instead Softcup FTW!

ETA: https://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/softcup.html

(I have no idea where you can buy these off the web)

ToshaGirl

a.graves:

CathyMD:

Are you talking about my IUI reference?

Mainly what Ocean said in my post below. But if you wanna share then feel free! I am just curious.

Oh ha. I went back and read that. Same idea.

arrie

You should def do this...

a.graves

Google is my friend:

1. Needleless syringe or oral medicine syringe
2. Collection cup, baggy or condom
3. (Optional) Saline without additives or preservatives
4. (Optional) Tube to attach to syringe
5. (Optional) Mild germicidal soap

You can ask your doctor for a needleless syringe or you can buy an oral medicine syringe at just about any drugstore or in Wal*Mart near the children's thermometers. Buy the syringe with a plunger, not a bulb end (not the mini turkey baster!). The syringes work pretty much the same way. One that is maybe 4 inches long, or longer, is probably best. The oral medicine syringes have about a half inch narrow tip on the end. You can attach a catheter (thin tube) to either kind of syringe but you don't need to and it may waste more of the semen to use one.

a) Take a clean or sterile glass or plastic cup, baggy, or collection condom and have the male ejaculate into it. You'll probably have better luck getting the semen out of a cup since you could suck the baggy or condom up to the syringe and block the opening, but you may get a larger sample with the baggy or condom. You can use a tiny bit of saline, without additives/preservatives, to help get as much sperm as possible into the syringe, but you don't need to worry too much about leaving a little behind. If you are using frozen sperm, you need to ask the sperm bank for directions on thawing.

b) Draw back on the syringe once with nothing but air, then push the air out again.

c) Draw back on the syringe again, but this time have the end of it in the semen -- the vacuum created by pulling back on the stopper will suck the semen into the syringe.

d) Try to tap out any air bubbles since you don't want to inject air into your vagina. You can do this by slowly rotating the syringe until the opening is facing up. Tap the air bubbles to the top and them push the plunger in on the catheter just a small amount -- enough to get rid of air w/o squirting semen out.

e) Get into a position where you can either stay comfortably for a half hour or can get into the position w/ minimal movement. Ideal is to either have hips raised or to lay on your side making sure your pelvis is canted (usually hips provide natural angle if you hips are wider than your waist, but if your bed, or wherever you are lying, is soft, you may want to put a pillow or two underneath your hip).

f) Slowly glide the syringe, or catheter, into the vagina until it is close to the cervix -- but do not try to get it into the cervix and do this gently. Your goal is to coat the outside of the cervix and to deposit as much sperm as possible as close the cervix as you can get it.

g) SLOWLY inject sperm. If you do it too fast, it can squirt out of the vagina or at least spray away from the cervix.

h) If you are concerned about wastage in the syringe, you can use some saline, without additives . . . add some to the syringe, shake it a bit, get the air out, and inject. This is not necessary since there probably won't be enough wastage to be of concern.

i) Try to have an orgasm -- Some suggest that using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation produces a bigger, more powerful orgasm. Use whatever method works best for you (unless it requires lots of water!). The orgasm helps the cervix dip into the vaginal pool and suck up sperm -- it helps get more sperm up there, and may speed sperm travel. Avoid penetration (as in intercourse or with vibrator). This falls in the can't hurt, might help category.

 

srehman

Hey arrie, I love your dogs!!

bannedmonkey

::speechless::

k-mart

They have instructions online!! What else are people going to do!!

arrie

srehman:

Hey arrie, I love your dogs!!

Thanks!

a.graves

k-mart:

They have instructions online!! What else are people going to do!!

LOL. Yeah I looked it up after I posted. Sorry. I was just curious because someone mentioned it and I had no clue how it worked. I laughed at myself for thinking someone would use an actual turkey baster.

KaliChick

a.graves:

Google is my friend:

1. Needleless syringe or oral medicine syringe
2. Collection cup, baggy or condom
3. (Optional) Saline without additives or preservatives
4. (Optional) Tube to attach to syringe
5. (Optional) Mild germicidal soap

You can ask your doctor for a needleless syringe or you can buy an oral medicine syringe at just about any drugstore or in Wal*Mart near the children's thermometers. Buy the syringe with a plunger, not a bulb end (not the mini turkey baster!). The syringes work pretty much the same way. One that is maybe 4 inches long, or longer, is probably best. The oral medicine syringes have about a half inch narrow tip on the end. You can attach a catheter (thin tube) to either kind of syringe but you don't need to and it may waste more of the semen to use one.

a) Take a clean or sterile glass or plastic cup, baggy, or collection condom and have the male ejaculate into it. You'll probably have better luck getting the semen out of a cup since you could suck the baggy or condom up to the syringe and block the opening, but you may get a larger sample with the baggy or condom. You can use a tiny bit of saline, without additives/preservatives, to help get as much sperm as possible into the syringe, but you don't need to worry too much about leaving a little behind. If you are using frozen sperm, you need to ask the sperm bank for directions on thawing.

b) Draw back on the syringe once with nothing but air, then push the air out again.

c) Draw back on the syringe again, but this time have the end of it in the semen -- the vacuum created by pulling back on the stopper will suck the semen into the syringe.

d) Try to tap out any air bubbles since you don't want to inject air into your vagina. You can do this by slowly rotating the syringe until the opening is facing up. Tap the air bubbles to the top and them push the plunger in on the catheter just a small amount -- enough to get rid of air w/o squirting semen out.

e) Get into a position where you can either stay comfortably for a half hour or can get into the position w/ minimal movement. Ideal is to either have hips raised or to lay on your side making sure your pelvis is canted (usually hips provide natural angle if you hips are wider than your waist, but if your bed, or wherever you are lying, is soft, you may want to put a pillow or two underneath your hip).

f) Slowly glide the syringe, or catheter, into the vagina until it is close to the cervix -- but do not try to get it into the cervix and do this gently. Your goal is to coat the outside of the cervix and to deposit as much sperm as possible as close the cervix as you can get it.

g) SLOWLY inject sperm. If you do it too fast, it can squirt out of the vagina or at least spray away from the cervix.

h) If you are concerned about wastage in the syringe, you can use some saline, without additives . . . add some to the syringe, shake it a bit, get the air out, and inject. This is not necessary since there probably won't be enough wastage to be of concern.

i) Try to have an orgasm -- Some suggest that using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation produces a bigger, more powerful orgasm. Use whatever method works best for you (unless it requires lots of water!). The orgasm helps the cervix dip into the vaginal pool and suck up sperm -- it helps get more sperm up there, and may speed sperm travel. Avoid penetration (as in intercourse or with vibrator). This falls in the can't hurt, might help category.

 

Are you heading to Walmart?  Can we get a full report when you're done? ahahha

Rebeccstar

Haha! That is awesome! No EWCM will go to waste on this board:)

 You should do it!

a.graves

KaliChick:

a.graves:

Google is my friend:

1. Needleless syringe or oral medicine syringe
2. Collection cup, baggy or condom
3. (Optional) Saline without additives or preservatives
4. (Optional) Tube to attach to syringe
5. (Optional) Mild germicidal soap

You can ask your doctor for a needleless syringe or you can buy an oral medicine syringe at just about any drugstore or in Wal*Mart near the children's thermometers. Buy the syringe with a plunger, not a bulb end (not the mini turkey baster!). The syringes work pretty much the same way. One that is maybe 4 inches long, or longer, is probably best. The oral medicine syringes have about a half inch narrow tip on the end. You can attach a catheter (thin tube) to either kind of syringe but you don't need to and it may waste more of the semen to use one.

a) Take a clean or sterile glass or plastic cup, baggy, or collection condom and have the male ejaculate into it. You'll probably have better luck getting the semen out of a cup since you could suck the baggy or condom up to the syringe and block the opening, but you may get a larger sample with the baggy or condom. You can use a tiny bit of saline, without additives/preservatives, to help get as much sperm as possible into the syringe, but you don't need to worry too much about leaving a little behind. If you are using frozen sperm, you need to ask the sperm bank for directions on thawing.

b) Draw back on the syringe once with nothing but air, then push the air out again.

c) Draw back on the syringe again, but this time have the end of it in the semen -- the vacuum created by pulling back on the stopper will suck the semen into the syringe.

d) Try to tap out any air bubbles since you don't want to inject air into your vagina. You can do this by slowly rotating the syringe until the opening is facing up. Tap the air bubbles to the top and them push the plunger in on the catheter just a small amount -- enough to get rid of air w/o squirting semen out.

e) Get into a position where you can either stay comfortably for a half hour or can get into the position w/ minimal movement. Ideal is to either have hips raised or to lay on your side making sure your pelvis is canted (usually hips provide natural angle if you hips are wider than your waist, but if your bed, or wherever you are lying, is soft, you may want to put a pillow or two underneath your hip).

f) Slowly glide the syringe, or catheter, into the vagina until it is close to the cervix -- but do not try to get it into the cervix and do this gently. Your goal is to coat the outside of the cervix and to deposit as much sperm as possible as close the cervix as you can get it.

g) SLOWLY inject sperm. If you do it too fast, it can squirt out of the vagina or at least spray away from the cervix.

h) If you are concerned about wastage in the syringe, you can use some saline, without additives . . . add some to the syringe, shake it a bit, get the air out, and inject. This is not necessary since there probably won't be enough wastage to be of concern.

i) Try to have an orgasm -- Some suggest that using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation produces a bigger, more powerful orgasm. Use whatever method works best for you (unless it requires lots of water!). The orgasm helps the cervix dip into the vaginal pool and suck up sperm -- it helps get more sperm up there, and may speed sperm travel. Avoid penetration (as in intercourse or with vibrator). This falls in the can't hurt, might help category.

 

Are you heading to Walmart?  Can we get a full report when you're done? ahahha

Um. I will admit I did think about it...but I do not think I am willing to go that far as of yet. lol. I was just curious how it worked. 

k-mart

a.graves:

k-mart:

They have instructions online!! What else are people going to do!!

LOL. Yeah I looked it up after I posted. Sorry. I was just curious because someone mentioned it and I had no clue how it worked. I laughed at myself for thinking someone would use an actual turkey baster.

I think it's awsome that you looked it up - I guess I just can't believe the things you can find with google!! LOL! Heck - something in the back of my head wants me to try it!

OceanBreeze1

Wow, I didn't realized there were detailed directions online about it! I thought it was an OWT kinda thing.

FWIW, I would totally do it! It sounds less crazy than shoving a garlic up your vag, and it looks like that is working.

Seriously, if you never get EWCM then your body is saying, "Tonight's the night." It doesn't know DH is MIA! Ha, GL!

K8-B

If anyone wants a syringe and a sterile cup, let me know, cause this is what would have been the only way we would have gotten KU if DH had sperm coming out.

lyse2143

Are we really effing serious or is this just a bad joke?