The role of positive/negative thinking on M/C. Discuss.

Bride2b2004

Please help me get my head on straight. 

My first pg resulted, without issue, in a baby.  It went pretty much as I had expected.  When we TTC #2, everything went the same, until we were told at 12w that the growth had stopped and there was no hb.  It was completely unexpected and devastating.  That pg was followed by an EP and now an early m/c.  I am very scared to be pg again and have another loss.  I am bewildered about what has happened.  I am also afraid I won't get pg or it will take forever.  A good friend (very intelligent, who has experienced many losses herself) has expressed her view that the mind/body connection is so powerful that my thoughts and fears of m/c could actually cause it to come about.  WTH, something else to feel guilty about, now my very thoughts have caused the death of my babies?

I agree that positive thinking can bring about great things.  But I can't always control my thoughts.  I feel like turning away from any negative thoughts is almost like not dealing with my fears, I don't want to repress them.  I try not to dwell, but I admit that the fears are real and recurrent.  Anyway, now I have even MORE anxiety and fear because my new fear is that the fears above are actually causing m/c and/or difficulty in conception.  IOW, I would have a healthy pg, but the fears of loss and related anxiety cause a non-conducive environment for growth and the baby dies or grows in the wrong spot or whatever.  So now I am afraid of the fears that I have.  Seriously messed up.

Please discuss your views.  Hoping it can help me organize mine into something positive- instead of this cycle of guilt, fear or repression!

ColindaP

I do believe that mindset affects health, HOWEVER, being nervous or fearful will not cause fetal chromosomal abnormalities, or clotting disorders, or structural uterine problems, or any of those other things that cause miscarriage. Don't feel guilty, and don't feel anxious about feeling anxious. you're not causing the mc's.

mindyschaller

Bride2b2004:

 I am also afraid I won't get pg or it will take forever.  A good friend (very intelligent, who has experienced many losses herself) has expressed her view that the mind/body connection is so powerful that my thoughts and fears of m/c could actually cause it to come about.  WTH, something else to feel guilty about, now my very thoughts have caused the death of my babies?

I'm sorry for your losses, and even more sorry that you have such an insensitive friend! I believe in the power of positive thinking, but there is no way in H3LL that you being concerned about a pregnancy (because of your history) is going to cause a m/c!  I think maybe you need to reevaluate the "good friend" part.... I know I would.

Becky19

Positive thinking is important for overall well-being and good health, but stress and anxiety do NOT cause miscarriage.

teppy2008

I am so sorry for your losses. 

I believe there is a strong chance that anxiety could effect your ability to get pregnant, possibly by changing hormones that would regulate ovulation; however, I do no think it could effect your ability to carry a baby to term unless that anxiety was manifesting itself physically - like heart rate irregularities, immune problems, etc.  There are people who have anxiety disorders who end up pretty sick physically, which probably could result in difficulty carrying a baby (gestational high blood pressure, etc.) This does not sound to me like what you are talking about. You have legitimate concerns based on your history. And, you did not cause your baby to implant in your tube or any of the other losses.

If you are experiencing clinical anxiety that is interfering with your ability to enjoy life and that you are afraid will prevent you from enjoying a new pregnancy, I suggest you try to talk to a licensed counselor who can give you some great relaxation and meditation techniques to help control your anxiety and help you focus on positive thinking. Good luck.

krif9@yahoo.com

Maybe it was just your friend's twisted way of telling you to stay positive. I do have to say that I believe positive thinking goes a long way, but it can't make you have a healthy pregnancy any more than fear and anxiety can make you have a loss.

It is not your fault that you had losses. You did not cause them, and there is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty. Sometimes stuff just happens. And if there is a physical reason, I am sure that you will get to the bottom of it. 

Chin up!

bebeblues

I understand where you're coming from...not a complication w/pregnancy/baby #1. Conceived 2nd cycle and no problems. 2nd pregnancy resulted in a blighted ovum at 8wks and was waited out until 10w5d before d&c. I was so broken hearted.

My sil became pregnant very shortly after my bo. She found out at 5 1/2 weeks that she had a subchorionic hematoma and was told taht it didn't look good. Everyone stayed so positive, and even my sil acted as if nothing was wrong. She said she wasn't worried a bit, because she knew she could handle anything. Obviously, w/o experiencing a m/c or loss, she doesn't know what she could/couldn't handle..... It made me angry when she went back in at 10wks and the clot was gone. I was happy that she didn't go through a loss, but was angry that I felt like if I had just acted like nothing would go wrong and everything was perfect that I might have not had a blighted ovum. I know logically this can't be the reason, but it does make you wonder.

Don't over think things. I don't think that being responsibly cautious can cause bad things to happen to us. It's just not our time yet. Our time will come again too....you have to hold on to that hope.

Rosebud26

If stress and anxiety or even negative thoughts about a baby caused m/c I think we would see a lot less teenage moms.  I think sometimes we see a coincedence like worrying a lot about m/c and then having one. I think sometimes we don't always realize how much our bodies communicate with us.  When I started bleeding everyone wanted me to be positive but I just knew it wouldn't turn out well.  I know that I didn't cause the m/c that way- I'm just the one living in this body so I had a gut feeling.  Plus many moms to be worry about m/c even if they have never had one before.  On the SAL board everyone I see worries often until the day their baby is born that something will happen and look at how many sucess stories we see!  Please don't blame yourself- thoughts are powerful but not that powerful.

someflower6

so can the fear of mc lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy? i think, theoretically it is possible although i have never heard of it happening IRL. for example, if a woman is so afraid of a miscarriage that she becomes convinced it is inevitable and that there is nothing she can do about it, she may start modifying her behavior in a way that could increase the liklihood of her miscarrying. and by modifying her behavior, it would have to be extreme-- bungee jumping, doing illicet drugs, whatever it may be, all under the assumption that it's going to happen anyway.

but i don't think that's the same thing as being anxious about a pregnancy. i think that's an extreme case, and an extreme psychological state. to just have fears, worries, and doubts-- that's completely normal.

if there IS any correlation between fears of miscarrying and miscarriages itself, i would like to see that scientific data.

redshoegirl

ColindaP:

I do believe that mindset affects health, HOWEVER, being nervous or fearful will not cause fetal chromosomal abnormalities, or clotting disorders, or structural uterine problems, or any of those other things that cause miscarriage. Don't feel guilty, and don't feel anxious about feeling anxious. you're not causing the mc's.

I agree with this.

Someone once tried to tell me that my beloved aunt's cancer was caused by "negative thinking." I nearly punched that person in the face. Sometimes bad things just happen - assigning blame to the person they happen to is utterly ridiculous.